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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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unsolicited advice
Got my first lecture from a btdt mom! She went on and on about why I should breast feed and how I'm being an irresponsible mom if I don't. I'm still on the fence but lectures like this one make me want to bottle feed out of spite! Why can't people just mind there own business!!!
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Posted 12/9/12 9:10 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
RGEC47
Feeling blessed!
Member since 11/09 3039 total posts
Name:
Rosa
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Re: unsolicited advice
I hate that. There are times that unsolicited advice is helpful, but not when you are critized and accused of being irresposible for your decisions.
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| Posted 12/9/12 9:35 AM |
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SLPlady1984
She's here!
Member since 6/12 1207 total posts
Name:
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Re: unsolicited advice
I have no patience for advice that belittles you and when...since we all know it will happen...it happens I'm going to cut the person off mid sentence and say thank you for the advice, I understand your stance but I will not have my parenting skills criticized because I'm sure there are things you do that I would have a problem with but I would never make it seem like you are an unfit parent.
Being helpful is totally different from being hurtful!
Message edited 12/9/2012 10:19:53 AM.
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| Posted 12/9/12 9:49 AM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: unsolicited advice
I actually welcomed unsolicited advice from BTDT parents... many of the things that people have said have really stuck with me and helped me after I had my DS. I would be open to it! Criticizing your choices as a parent is completely different though, and no one should ever feel that it is appropriate to do so! Just ignore them, as difficult as it may be!
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| Posted 12/9/12 10:02 AM |
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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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unsolicited advice
I HATE people like this. It is a choice and no one should be criticized one way or another. If you want to BF -- GO AHEAD! If not -- NO BIG DEAL! It's no one's business but your own.
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| Posted 12/9/12 10:35 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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unsolicited advice
Unsolicited advice is one thing...telling you that you are an irresponsible parent for not breastfeeding is absurd!!
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| Posted 12/9/12 10:36 AM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: unsolicited advice
i hope you told her to go scratch
btdt mom here, did not bf either of my girls and they are very healthy....they've had only colds and viruses these past 4 years....they hit all their milestones on time if not earlier.....and i will not be bf my third because it was the absolute best decision for my family both times
it is a CHOICE and with EVERY choice, there are advantages and disadvantages.....dare i say it even if its a bodily function like BF....GASP... SO do your research and make the best decision for you and your family.....and don't pay attention to these holier than thou "know it alls"
Message edited 12/9/2012 10:58:44 AM.
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| Posted 12/9/12 10:55 AM |
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BeachGrl
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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unsolicited advice
Message edited 12/12/2012 8:23:12 PM.
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| Posted 12/9/12 11:01 AM |
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wishing2012
My heart is full
Member since 3/12 1961 total posts
Name:
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Re: unsolicited advice
I don't mind getting advice from people, but I hate when others true to force their opinion on you. It's frustrating to deal with people who think they are the experts. All you can do is nod politely and then try to change the subject.
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| Posted 12/9/12 12:27 PM |
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yankeebaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/12 850 total posts
Name:
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Re: unsolicited advice
tell her to back off and thats it. Anything you do with your child is a personal choice and its up to you and your significant other to decide that is best. Many women cant breast feed does that make them a bad mom.
I would tell her to F*ck off!
Edit: I want to add I like getting advice. Just not advice that is forced and makes me feel bad.
Message edited 12/9/2012 1:27:48 PM.
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| Posted 12/9/12 1:25 PM |
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Hemicat
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/11 408 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: unsolicited advice
This may just be the tip of the iceberg. DD is almost 6 months and I still get questions/comments on: BF-ing, teething, diapering, feeding, etc. I never ask, it just comes my way! I was just criticized for not giving her water in between bottles and told not to listen to everything my ped says. I used to get more annoyed (especially when I was overly hormonal right after). Now I just say thanks, smile and ignore it.
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| Posted 12/9/12 5:56 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: unsolicited advice
UGH, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have decided to not even attempt breast feeding. I know that it's a lot of work and you have to be really determined to make it work. I have no desire to, and thus don't want to spend my first few weeks miserable (and in turn making my little one miserable) while I make futile attempts.
I am an educated woman, and I know what is "best" healthwise for my baby, but in this case, what is best for us is different. People have been going on and on to me, like they are going to say something that will make me change my mind.
I've been interruping them when they bring it up by telling them things like, "there isn't a single thing you can tell me that someone else hasn't or that I haven't read about that will change my mind. I need to do what is best for my husband and me, and THAT in turn will make me the best mother I can be."
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| Posted 12/9/12 7:18 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: unsolicited advice
Posted by ChristinaM128
UGH, I know exactly how you are feeling. I have decided to not even attempt breast feeding. I know that it's a lot of work and you have to be really determined to make it work. I have no desire to, and thus don't want to spend my first few weeks miserable (and in turn making my little one miserable) while I make futile attempts.
I am an educated woman, and I know what is "best" healthwise for my baby, but in this case, what is best for us is different. People have been going on and on to me, like they are going to say something that will make me change my mind.
I've been interruping them when they bring it up by telling them things like, "there isn't a single thing you can tell me that someone else hasn't or that I haven't read about that will change my mind. I need to do what is best for my husband and me, and THAT in turn will make me the best mother I can be."
I admire your honesty to yourself. I was miserable the first few weeks. I wouldn't try BFing future children. I went through terrible ppd and it just was not the best option for me or my family.
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| Posted 12/9/12 9:55 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: unsolicited advice
Just wanted to clarify that I don't mind advice and to tell you the truth advice from women my age is usually right on. I'm an ice hockey coach and the parent who was lecturing me about breast feeding is a bit older. She has daughter in college.....so I feel like it's my mom telling me I'm going to be bad parent. When it's people my age I can take it easier.....I don't know why....
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| Posted 12/10/12 10:33 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: unsolicited advice
as soon as unsolicited advice begins spewing from someone's mouth, simply walk away. no reason to sit there and humor it.
unfortunately, it happens. 
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| Posted 12/10/12 10:41 AM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: unsolicited advice
Posted by maymama
as soon as unsolicited advice begins spewing from someone's mouth, simply walk away. no reason to sit there and humor it.
unfortunately, it happens.
I wish, I was at a Christmas party and completely cornered in my seat, nowhere to go!!!!
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| Posted 12/10/12 10:46 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: unsolicited advice
Posted by jennielee15
Posted by maymama
as soon as unsolicited advice begins spewing from someone's mouth, simply walk away. no reason to sit there and humor it.
unfortunately, it happens.
I wish, I was at a Christmas party and completely cornered in my seat, nowhere to go!!!!
you are pregnant  bathroom is always a good excuse 
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| Posted 12/10/12 12:44 PM |
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