Those who don't have family in town...

I find myself getting really jealous of those people who are lucky enough to have family and close friends in town. My SIL drops her kids off at my in laws probably at least once every other week so that her and her DH can go get dinner or get together with friends. They have the kids sleep over and have the luxury of being able to sleep in after going out and not having to worry about the kids. I find myself feeling almost resentful toward them. I don't know why, I know it's not their fault that they have "built in babysitters" and we don't. All of our family lives hours upstate so we don't have that luxury. DD is almost a year old and we have only been out twice without her and both times it was for DH's work parties and we had to pay a sitter $80 for one event and $50 another. We had the opportunity to go to a concert with free tickets tomorrow and we don't have a sitter I've only had 1 of my close girlfriends ever offer to babysit and I asked her but just our luck she is not available. I guess I just needed to vent on how frustrating it is to be away from your family and close friends. Anyone else in this situation? Do you find yourself getting really jealous of those that don't have this problem?

Message edited 4/19/2013 6:03:14 PM.

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

I'm in your situation! I used to lived minutes away from my parents and recently moved over 4 hours away when I remarried. We don't have any family or friends where we are and we've yet to go out without my DS. I love having my DS with us all the time but I miss having family so close to help out! On the plus side, I now get to be a SAHM so in the end I consider myself lucky in my situation!

I don't have the jealousy issue b/c my brother also loves about 3.5 hrs from my parents. We're kinda in a triangle from eachother!

Those who don't have family in town...

I have family, but my parents are gone and dh's see out of state. People don't seem to understand when you tell then you can't do things because you don't have a sitter. My Lo is still not born and we've already had this issue.

Those who don't have family in town...

And don't get me wrong... I LOVE spending as much time as I can with DD. I honestly wouldn't even want to do an overnight trip or anything, I would miss her way too much. But we could really use a few hours out to just be us and we can't even manage to get that. We have got better with getting out on our own at least. DH plays hockey one night a wk and I try to get out with my girl friends for a mani/pedi or a few drinks like every other weekend. I just miss "us" time, even just a movie date. Glad to know I'm not alone.

Those who don't have family in town...

We are about 4 hrs away from family. My 2 sisters live by my paretns 1 3 houses away I. The same block and 1 about a 3 min drive. Their kids are always there as they both work and they are always there anyway. My nieces and nephews are my parents world. I get jealous and annoyed. I know I shouldn't as we moved away but it's annoying.

To solve some of the problem I found a babysitter. It's expensive but so worth it.

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

we're in the same boat. we're in PA all our family is in brooklyn, LI, staten island, etc.

I dont even really have a regular sitter out here. my one neighbor that has kids is a recovering alcoholic so there's no way she could ever sit my son; I have a girl from Ds daycare that we use once in a blue moon b/c she's usually away at college during the year since she transferred.

we hardly ever go out alone and DH just said to me today that we really need to make more of an effort, and I agree.

I feel your pain. Growing up we lived 10-20 min from each grandmother.My mother always dropped us off at her moms on the weekend for years. I dont have that luxury.

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

eeehhhhhhh, my family lives nearby but I dont see them for my sanity. dh family watches them at their house if we want to g out but we miss them when we go out,

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

Yes! But we still go on date night every week - we have found some babysitters we really like its $$ but worth it.

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

Me. Not sure about your situation but we chose to move 45+ mins away from any family. We just love where we live, so for us it's a tradeoff. Whenever I find myself feeling envious, I remind myself that I chose to move for very important reasons, and for quality of life, and so it is what it is. I have to find a sitter and am in the process but there isn't much choice, we don't get to go out alone and that's just what it is since I chose to move away.

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

We don't have family in town either. Just like you, the only time we ever go out sans kids is for work functions.

DH and I have been saying we should do more date nights and pay a sitter. We actually have pretty good options - 2 preschool teachers from the boys' school and our former nanny who has been working with our family for almost 2 years. We just need to pull the trigger more.

We have friends who NEVER go out without the kids unless their family visits from out of state. Then we know other families who seem to have date night pretty frequently. They use sitters (same preschool teachers from the boys' school).

Re: Those who don't have family in town...

i get what u mean!

we have twins and even with my big family we do not have babysitters ever

my sisters have their own kids,my mom is physically unable and dh mom is still afraid to hold one of the twins

maybe when the r 5

it stinks sometimes bc all of my friends go on date night or out or wherever bc grandma or grandpa or whoever will watch

but it is what it is

Those who don't have family in town...

We're In the same boat, sort of. We have lots family around and barely have anyone around to Elmo us out or watch the kids so we can get a night to ourselves.

Message edited 4/20/2013 8:15:38 AM.

Those who don't have family in town...

I'm in the same boat. It's very hard sometimes. It's another reason why I don't know if I want another child.

Those who don't have family in town...

This is one of the main reasons we are struggling with the idea if moving back to Tucson. We lived there for 7 yrs pre-kids and said if we stayed, we wouldn't have kids because we have no family in AZ. DH ended up getting a job on LI almost 2 yrs ago and now we have a 4.5 mo old DD. I can't imagine not having my folks just 20 min away anymore, but that's the only thing keeping us here. We are starting to question whether staying for them is worth it, since we are fairly miserable here.

Those who don't have family in town...

i feel you.
we have a lot of family within 40 minutes of each of them, but they have very little interest in seeing us, let alone offering to babysit. when we do get together, it's every 4-6 months for a few hours. they all have issues with us (cultural, ethical & moral differences between in-laws) & some are more toxic than others. and it makes me so sad. so i try to build an extended family from the people i become friends with. and not that they offer to sit either, but it helps in regards to the support system.