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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
so last night DH and i were talking and he cant wait for labor and he knows we will get through it (WE as if its coming out of his body!) Anyway, he said he will be by my side the entire time telling me to stay calm and relax...i was like what?!?! if you say either of those two things im going to want you to leave the room! i cant imagine him telling me RELAX as i am in intense pain - easy for him to relax hes not the one pushing out a baby!
needless to say, he was shocked and then asked what should he say...i said nothing he should stay quiet 
then i said he should just ask if he could rub my back, feet, etc, offer me water, ice and remind me to breathe and try to focus etc.
so it has me thinking...what are the comforting things you want your DH to say or do for you while in labor? and are there things you dont want him to say that you think will set you off??
to me "relax" is a huge no no
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Posted 1/28/13 2:39 PM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
LOL this sounds exactly like Shaun... All he should say is, "youre doing great babe!" LOL I dont care if im a mess thats all i want to hear out of him!!!
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| Posted 1/28/13 2:41 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
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| Posted 1/28/13 2:51 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
I think I would slap my DH if he told me to relax! How are you supposed to relax while you are pushing a huge baby out of a small hole in your body?!!!!
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| Posted 1/28/13 2:53 PM |
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Well, I never experienced pushing so I don't know what I would want to hear/not hear from DH, but I did labor for a long time so I remember not wanting DH to even look at me
There should be a sign over L&D beds that says:
Only speak when I address you directly.
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| Posted 1/28/13 2:55 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
My dh was sleeping in the corner until it was time to push. If he wasn't sleeping he was giving updates to family. My parents were on the road driving up from FL so we had to keep them in the loop.
During pushing he was surprisingly amazing.
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| Posted 1/28/13 2:55 PM |
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by 2BadSoSad
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
I agree with the relax part and I wouldn't want him to keep asking me, "are you ok."
I think I'd just want DH to keep telling me how great I am, how great I'm doing and how much he loves me. Oh, and how proud he is of me. I want him to gush over me considering what I'd be going through lol.
Knowing DH he'll start cracking jokes to try and make me laugh which I'd be pissed at lol.
Message edited 1/28/2013 3:01:38 PM.
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:00 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by newyearnewthings
Posted by 2BadSoSad
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
I agree with the relax part and I wouldn't want him to keep asking me, "are you ok."
I think I'd just want DH to keep telling me how great I am, how great I'm doing and how much he loves me. Oh, and how proud he is of me. I want him to gush over me considering what I'd be going through lol.
No you won't - that will annoy the crap out of you! I agree with the others - best for him not to speak unless spoken to!
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:04 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
DH was the only thing keeping me calm & focused. The took away my epi and gave me something to strengthen my contractions, so I was semi freaking out. DH just kept saying that I was doing great, keep pushing, etc. And then, when he saw her head coming out, he told me that he could see her, she's almost here, etc...And that really helped me.
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:05 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
I specifically remember DH asking if the contractions hurt....during a contraction where I couldn't speak because it hurt so much. I wanted to punch him in the stomach.
He learned after the first labor....now, he's great.
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:10 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by OMGChristmasSurprise
There should be a sign over L&D beds that says:
Only speak when I address you directly.
Perfect!!!
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:11 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by dlj97
Posted by newyearnewthings
Posted by 2BadSoSad
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
I agree with the relax part and I wouldn't want him to keep asking me, "are you ok."
I think I'd just want DH to keep telling me how great I am, how great I'm doing and how much he loves me. Oh, and how proud he is of me. I want him to gush over me considering what I'd be going through lol.
No you won't - that will annoy the crap out of you! I agree with the others - best for him not to speak unless spoken to!
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:13 PM |
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gdubs
This baby is awesome!
Member since 11/10 2467 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by 2BadSoSad
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
This is exactly what I told DH! I have a feeling no matter what it is he says it is going to piss me off!!!
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:13 PM |
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GlowSuarez
Baby Marz is here!
Member since 12/10 1494 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by 2BadSoSad
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
ITA or just rub my back
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:27 PM |
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jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 11/08 7769 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by 2BadSoSad
For me, it was just better if he didn't speak unless spoken too.
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| Posted 1/28/13 3:34 PM |
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LDrinkh20
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1820 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Posted by StaceyWill
DH was the only thing keeping me calm & focused. The took away my epi and gave me something to strengthen my contractions, so I was semi freaking out. DH just kept saying that I was doing great, keep pushing, etc. And then, when he saw her head coming out, he told me that he could see her, she's almost here, etc...And that really helped me.
This just made me cry! (damn hormones!) That's exactly what I would want my husband to do!
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| Posted 1/28/13 4:37 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
With both my girls DH was glued to his stupid phone while I labored. He insisted I get the epi with my 2nd because he couldn't listen to me in pain anymore. He actually got up and went to get the doctor. 
When I started pushing he stayed behind the monitors near the windows. I don't remember him saying anything 
When it was all over and they were wheeling me to my room he said "Man, I'm SHOT! I can't wait to go home and go to bed."
I think I burned holes into his face with the stare he got for that comment
Message edited 1/28/2013 4:40:48 PM.
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| Posted 1/28/13 4:38 PM |
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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
I have told DH a million times that I don't want him to tell me to relax or even talk too much. I want him to rub my back and keep quiet! I don't want to kill him before the baby is born! He has said to me recently (all three within 20 minutes might I add) -- "I don't sleep well," "My lower back really hurts," and "I haven't had a really good drink in a long time."
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| Posted 1/28/13 6:14 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Oh no!!! Good thinking to have that convo ahead of time! And to warn the rest of us to do the same. I am sure there are many DHs out there that would think saying those things would be helpful!
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| Posted 1/28/13 6:48 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
DH told me not to clench my hands while I was pushing.
He was promptly screamed at.
Other than that he was great!
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| Posted 1/28/13 7:18 PM |
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Leahbink
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/12 663 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
When I was in labor with my DD my husband kept telling me "here comes another contraction" while he watched the monitor. I was like I know I feel it. I wanted to throw something at him
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| Posted 1/28/13 9:02 PM |
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EandF
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 1674 total posts
Name:
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
These are
I agree with speaking minimally and not telling me to stay calm and relax.
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| Posted 1/28/13 9:11 PM |
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Maddie180
LIF Adult
Member since 2/07 1992 total posts
Name:
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
dh was entranced by the contraction monitor.. at one point he was like "oh boy.. get ready. its gonna be a huge one" he was so excited. I was going to kill him
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| Posted 1/28/13 9:20 PM |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
Name:
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things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Up until the pushing I was fine and he and I were just chatting/watching tv etc. However, when pushing this time to not say a thing. Last time he was counting and then I yelled that he was counting to slow only the nurse could count from now on.
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| Posted 1/28/13 9:55 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: things your partner should (or should not say) while in labor...
Not to brag, but my DH was amazing!
He sat in the corner, on his phone, not saying a damn word unless I spoke to him. He even stood all the way up by my head while I was pushing - silent the entire time - until the nurse yelled at him to grab my leg because the doctor wasn't there yet to help.
I thanked him afterward and he said he knew me and I'd bite his head off if he so much as breathed too loud!
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| Posted 1/28/13 10:05 PM |
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