the right time to have baby # 2?

I have an 11 month old daughter...my husband and I always talk about more kids but Im not sure when. Just wanted some opinions from moms who have more then one child...how long did you wait to have another baby? what do you think is a good age gap and why? i look forward to your feedback!
-Amy

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

I was ready for #2 when my son was just 3 months old. DH had a lot more sense and said No Way!!

We ended up deciding to wait until he was 1 before trying again and we got PG when he was 15 months old and Lauren was born just 3 days shy of Andrew's 2nd b-day. So they are exactly 2 years apart.

I think the age gap is great, I don't really have a lot of complaints except that I sometimes feel guilty that my 2-year old had to grow up fast as I devoted a little more time to my newborn. He is still a baby in a certain way and I feel guilty he didn't get 100% of my attention a little longer.

If we decide on a #3, I will wait until Lauren is at least 2, so there is close to 3+ years in between.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

I got pregnant with baby #2 the month baby #1 turned 1 years old - so they're exactly 22 months apart. I love the age difference.

There is no ideal time spacing. I think everyone always loves whatever they have.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

thanks so much..its very reassuring because i also wanted another baby right away too after having Bella....but in reality i knew it was best to wait. Good advice about the age gap, i was thinking when bella turns 1 to start trying but maybe it is better to wait until shes almost 2 years old...maybe she will be out of diapers before a new baby comes!...how is your 2 year old with the baby? is he helpful or jealous or neutral?

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Mine are 16 months apart, which is a little challenging right now but I've convinced myself will make them great friends when they are older.

We wanted our kids to be about 2 years apart, but thought it would take a little while to get pregnant. We were very surprised when it happened so quickly.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

mine are 3 years between 1 and 2 which is good and 4 years between 2 and 3 very bad!!!! he is very jelous and has been acting out since i had the baby

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

IF, AND I DO MEAN IF, there is a #2, i want to wait until my son is 3 or 4 yrs old. I want to enjoy just him for a while, and I also need a few YEARS to get over the trauma of his delivery and his first 4 months of life.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

did any of you feel like "having the babies and getting the baby thing over with?" i kinda feel that way ... id like to try to have all my kids before 30 (im 25) is that realistic?

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

for those of you that have kids a year to 2 years apart...how do u manage your time with each of them individually as well as housework

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

DH & I been discussing this topic too. He would love to get started now, but I have decided to hold off. I want to start trying again come the New Year. That way maybe have #2 by Oct or so. That would make them 2 yrs apart. I am excited, but at the same time can wait. I love enjoying my time with baby #1 right now. I just keep thinking, I will never get that "alone" time again once #2 comes along.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Posted by CheeChee

IF, AND I DO MEAN IF, there is a #2, i want to wait until my son is 3 or 4 yrs old. I want to enjoy just him for a while, and I also need a few YEARS to get over the trauma of his delivery and his first 4 months of life.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Me too!!! DD just turned 2. She is a whirlwind. I will try when she turns 3. By then, I hope she is potty trained and in a "big-girl" bed. I really do enjoy her and want to focus on her for 1 more year.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

We actually think we want them closer together. I think we might try when Ds is around 9 or 10 months old.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

mine are 20 months apart to the day. i love that age gap. i thought it would be really hard, but it turned out great. i still had all the necessities from baby number 1, like swing, playpen, boucer, etc. and they were brand new. and i was not so set in my sleeping yet. and changing diapers and bottles were all still fresh in my mind. now that they are older, they play with eachoter all day. and are always occupied. its a good thing.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Message edited 2/8/2007 3:00:16 PM.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

My second will arrive a few days give or take around my daughters 3rd birthday. I wanted them close, but not too close.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

I haven't even had my first yet (EDD Oct. 20) but we want our babies to be fairly close in age. We will probably start trying for baby #2 next fall- around Luca's 1 year b-day.
But like I said, I haven't even had my first yet, so we'll see how it all plays out. DH looked at me on the computer last night and said, "I have a feeling this isn't going to be the office for much longer." So maybe he knows something I don't.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

We knew we wanted kids 2 years apart. We orginally planned to TTC in Oct, but I got pg earlier. Nate and #2 will be 21 months apart.

I definitely want to have kids and get it over with. #2 will come a couple of weeks before my 30th b-day and I'd like another by the time I'm 32.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Originally we wanted our children to be about two years apart, but we were enjoying spending time with our son so we decided to make it 3 years apart. Time has flown by and with the move things got crazy so now we are officially ttc and are hoping that they won't be more than 3 1/2 years apart. I don't want the age gap to be too big because I still want them to be able to play with each other and have things in common.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

I'm so torn about this. Over the past couple of months or so DH and I have pretty much decided that yes, we are going to have one more. (It was always IF we a child, then IF we decide to have one more)

On the one hand I want to "just get it over with" and get PG next year around this time (this is what DH wants) so I can be done having kids by age 30.

But on the other hand...two kids so close in age (they would be almost 3 yrs apart) seems like soooo much work. I'd like to devote more time to Jake alone. So we'll see. Right now DH is very adamant about TTC next year but we'll see

Also, not everyone is happy with what ends up being the age difference. My aunt has 2 that are about 2.5 yrs apart and she really wishes she had tried for #2 sooner. She says that having #2 was really hard on her oldest daughter who was almost 3 at the time. She keeps telling me not to wait any longer and get pg now because the longer I wait the harder it will be on Jake. I don't agree, but I'm just sharing that pov with you.

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

my guys are 26 months apart and it has advantages and disadvantages.

After Robbie, I wanted another baby ASAP... but I knew it would not be good financially, emotionally or physically at the time. By the time Robbie was about 12 months old, I realized that 2 kids would be a serious challenge. I didn't think I would have the energy or the time to devote to either one.

Then I got pregnant about 5 months later.

It was hard because I felt like I was neglecting Robbie to care for the newborn sometimes... and other times I felt like I was cheating Noah because he would never have me exclusively to himself the way that Robbie had.

And it is NO PICNIC having 2 kids running around like maniacs these days. I sometimes think I ought to have waited a bit longer.

Overall - I am satisfied. The boys are close enough to enjoy each other - far enough apart that I never had 2 sets of dirty diapers to change...

In the end.. there is no magic 'perfect' time. But you make do with what you have!

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

I don't have any children yet but I do want to comment on age difference...

I'm the oldest of 3 and my sister and I are 4 years apart....we are not close at all....I know I resented her when she was born...it was like "who's this person getting all of the attention"...so I strongly believe it's because we are 4 years apart and I knew what attention was....yet my brother and sister are 13 months apart and they are extremly close...they did everything together.

So if and when I'm blessed with children I would like them to be 2 -3 years apart

Re: the right time to have baby # 2?

WOW i am so excited about all the great advice everyone has given to me! you have all helped me realize that I will just adjust to whatever happens.Its funny how alot of you mentioned 2-3 years apart, thats what i think will end up happening to me...i also am reassured that im not the only one who feels "get the baby thing over with" and everyone knows that i mean by that and its ok to feel that way.