That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I'm having one of those OMG mom-moments. Please talk me off the ledge. I will say this, I'm not normally like this.

My son is about 28 months old -- he will be 3 years old in September. So, Ex-DH and I went in together to see about signing him up for preschool (I had posted about the program choices/times the other day)... We sign him up, at the same place he has been, because it is amazing, it's just I'll be panhandling on the side of the expressway to be able to afford it LMAO!

Anyway, while we were there they were like, "do you want him to do the summer camp?" He did it last year -- when they are two, they let them "try out" the summer camp for free, as part of their daycare tuition, on Tuesday and Thursday to experience it. It is 1:1 camper/counselor ratio. He effing loved it. LOVED his counselor. Just had a BALL. Swimming, they have like seven pools, slides, activities... I mean, he did zip lining for God's sake!

So, Ex-DH looks at me and he's like, "you know we have to do it because he loves it." I'm like, totally. And honestly? We have to pay for him to be there over the summer anyway so this is more, don't get me wrong, but not by A LOT.

I'm fine. Everything is fine. The director comes to me and says, "so we will have the school bus come and pick him up. Pack his bag with..."

I nearly die. I'm like, huh?? She's like, "we have a mini school bus -- with camp, we provide door-to-door pick up/drop off." Would you have had an "OMG my son is still a baby!!!" moment or am I crazy??

What did I do? I get ALL emotional and start to fight back tears. In my defense, I think it is getting to be that time of the month. Ex-DH tries to comfort me but at a certain point he is feeling the same way!! I'm like, "WHEN did he grow up?? I can't imagine him going on a bus and being like bye! See you later!" HE IS THREE YEARS OLD.

The director said the kids absolutely go bonkers over the bus - they love it. I'm sure they do. He already walks around like he is fifteen the freaking kid. Meanwhile, I'll be in a straight-jacket.

She said they put them in a five-point harness safety seat that is specifically made for school buses and toddlers. So, safety isn't an issue. I'm just having one of those mom moments.

How would you have reacted? When I said to Ex-DH, "I'll just take him myself", he was like "Danielle, do you want him to be the odd kid out? Everyone else is doing it this way. We don't want to baby him".

Umm, Yes I do! Even now, I have tears typing this!

Tell me honestly, how would you have felt?

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Honestly, I think that's too young for the bus.

Heck, I had anxiety for months thinking of DD having to take the bus in Kindergarten. She is fine, and LOVES it and it turns out I made it so much more than it was in my head (go figure! ) but she's 5.

Under 3 years old is a bit young for a bus, IMO. i know people do it, etc etc. but I wouldn't. I'm too much of a nut that way.

And as far was what your ex said about him being the odd one out, I don't think so, not at that age. If he were older yes, maybe. But at that age I don't think they will really know the difference or care.

I agree with you

Message edited 1/12/2016 10:11:10 AM.

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I would still be driving him. I think that is still young and if you can drop him off than why not? At that age - being the 'odd one out' would be the least of my concerns.

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I think it's young for the bus too. Geez, DD took her first "class trip" to the pumpkin patch in Oct at 4 1/2 yrs old on the bus, and I was freaking out with worry. I couldn't wait for 1pm that day, since I knew they'd be back at school by then. Ahhhh! I'd drive him still, I don't care lol.

Message edited 1/12/2016 10:15:13 AM.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

He will be fine. Let him enjoy the bus as if they told you the kids love it, believe them.

At 3 they want to be independent and it is a great thing to do to help them accomplish that.

Our jobs are to raise our kids to leave and live in this world, not hold them back (coming from the person who is having a really hard time letting her child go away to college because I think she will call in a few weeks to come home and no one else will deal with her slobbiness lol).

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

what preschool or camp is this?!?!?

eta: no, if you have the option of driving. I would. he won't know what he is missing.

Message edited 1/12/2016 10:35:09 AM.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Message edited 1/12/2016 10:44:06 AM.

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Do they provide car seats on the bus? And who buckles him in to make sure its done right? It does seem young, but if done right I would be okay with it.

If it helps any, I am having a similar OMG moment. Only my baby is getting behind the wheel of a car. BEHIND.THE.WHEEL. When the F*** did she grow up??

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Posted by NervousNell

Honestly, I think that's too young for the bus.

Heck, I had anxiety for months thinking of DD having to take the bus in Kindergarten. She is fine, and LOVES it and it turns out I made it so much more than it was in my head (go figure! ) but she's 5.

Under 3 years old is a bit young for a bus, IMO. i know people do it, etc etc. but I wouldn't. I'm too much of a nut that way.

And as far was what your ex said about him being the odd one out, I don't think so, not at that age. If he were older yes, maybe. But at that age I don't think they will really know the difference or care.

I agree with you

Message edited 1/12/2016 10:55:36 AM.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Posted by DaniJude

Posted by NervousNell

Honestly, I think that's too young for the bus.

Heck, I had anxiety for months thinking of DD having to take the bus in Kindergarten. She is fine, and LOVES it and it turns out I made it so much more than it was in my head (go figure! ) but she's 5.

Under 3 years old is a bit young for a bus, IMO. i know people do it, etc etc. but I wouldn't. I'm too much of a nut that way.

And as far was what your ex said about him being the odd one out, I don't think so, not at that age. If he were older yes, maybe. But at that age I don't think they will really know the difference or care.

I agree with you

I am so glad you said this because when I posted the OP I thought FOR SURE you were going to be like, Dani, I get you, but just breathe and deal with it!!

To me, you are that independent mom I wish I could be more like!! LOL! So, I thought for sure you would tell me to cope with it but now that you agree with me I'm like, OK, maybe I AM right.

I just spoke to the other mother's and they are like oh, it'll be fine, and no one is even the least bit concerned so now I really do look like the overbearing mom. And my ex is concerned I "baby" him.

And my boyfriend's like, OK, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT HIS SAFETY?? And I'm like, no. I'm really not. I saw the buses - I know how this daycare, private school, and camp rolls. They are AMAZING. So, no. It is just a "he is only three and he's my baby" feeling that I can't get beyond.

So, then my boyfriend is like well, you are always going to feel that way -- you will have to work through it eventually, why not now? He's like, if you were truly concerned about his safety it would be one thing but if you just can't deal with it emotionally you are only prolonging the inevitable.

WHY does he always have to make so much sense??? Cops

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

You should put him on the bus. I know it's SO hard to let them go and see that they are growing up. But you're not concerned about safety and he'll love it and have his friends on the bus and feel like a big boy even though they'll ALWAYS be our babies.

I'm getting ready to start 2 1/2 yr old DD on the bus. I go back to work from maternity leave soon and my parents will have the baby and really can't do drop off and pick up with her and the baby and in tow. It will give me peace of mind, I know it's safe, and she's going to enjoy it. Even now when I pick her up and we walk pass the buses, she tries to get on! Lol

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Posted by DaniJude

Posted by busymomonli

Do they provide car seats on the bus? And who buckles him in to make sure its done right? It does seem young, but if done right I would be okay with it.

If it helps any, I am having a similar OMG moment. Only my baby is getting behind the wheel of a car. BEHIND.THE.WHEEL. When the F*** did she grow up??

Yes they have some kind of five-point harness carseat thingamajig that is specifically designed for mini buses and toddlers. They have these cute little buses that are the colors of the camp and they are specifically for that camp, not shared. They have a driver plus an aide on each bus for children 3-6. Then, the older kids I guess they go without the aide and just have a driver like a regular school bus.

OMG I know. It is amazing because I clearly recall passing my road test and going home and then just going to drive to school later that morning. And my mom was like uhh umm wait, no you can't just drive there!! And my dad was like, umm yeah she can- she got her license. And my mom was like what?????!?!?!!!! LOL Like in disbelief. She really didn't want me to go and I remember thinking my God, she is NUTS, what is wrong with her?? And now - Now, I totally GET IT.

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I wouldn't feel comfortable putting my child on the bus at that age. If you are able to drop off and pick up, that would be what I would do. I'm not even ready for my DD to take the bus to K in Sept!

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I just can't with the driving. I am just so not ready.

I wish I could go back to worrying about my three year old
And, yes, if they are in a car seat and have an attendant and you feel okay with the safety there, then I would do it.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I wouldn't feel pressured to put him on the bus because everyone else is doing it. He is two years old. Not to mention, the bus adds a huge amount of time to their day. I would drive him.

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Honestly...

I'd lose my mind putting AJ on a bus at 3
But I'd smile wave and cheer her on.. so lucky blah blah. After it was out of sight I'd follow that damn thing in my car! LOL I'd freak the heck out. But not that she could see.

GOD 3yr old separation anxiety made me want to scream. I HATED it. I wish someone picked her up in the bus for the two block ride. #1, she'd have loved it. Yes I would have still freaked out but #2, she'd be happy and less stressed. Those tears.. the drama.. only to find out she loved the place and never wanted to leave UGH!

I try hard to build her independence. I figure tons of other kids do this if only to get food, stay warm or because mom has to get to work and the kids have no where else to go. I remember seeing small kids on the subway alone in NYC and wondered "why?" Not 3yr olds but still. I choose to live in a place that's walking distance to Elementary and middle school because I don't want her to ever have that need to ride a bus that young.

Ironically.. all she wants to do is ride a bus! She lives for those two field trips a year that we can't ride a bus with her and she gets to go with her friends from our suburban area to downtown. Since Kindergarten it's her biggest thrill.

Its hard as H E L L
do it!

I feel bad that I forgot what it's like and my aunt took my daughter to summer camp for a week (Girl Scouts) since the camp is so much closer to her house and hahahahahahaHAHAHA I didn't want her on a bus *cough* *ahem* that way Auntie could drop her off daily instead of riding a bus from our side of town, which she had done for a week. Anyway.. day one AJ walked in, knew the check in process, got her wrist band and walked into a Brownie group area (Camp is at a repurposed elementary school). Barely waved good bye.. Tore my aunt into a million pieces to watch my daughter confidently stride away. I felt horrible. She called me in tears how much my daughter was such a grown girl. That night I told my kiddo to hug/kiss my aunt at drop off LOL

That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I totally understand what you are feeling!!! I had anxiety when my DD started Kindergarten...so yea I'd be a mess!

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Thanks so much everyone -- even hearing both sides of the fence, it makes me feel better!!

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Dd does not take the bus. I'm too neurotic. She's too little imo. Her nursery school offers it and her camp it's included in the cost this summer for her 3 year old program. I told them I'd prefer driving her ad they deducted it from the cost.

Message edited 1/12/2016 1:06:04 PM.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I personally think 3 is too young for the bus. But all that really matters is what you feel comfortable with and not what anyone else thinks you should be doing.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I can totally relate. My dd was offered a bus at 3 for preschool but I couldn't do it. I just felt like she was too young and I was way to paranoid she wouldn't be strapped into the carseat the correct way. I also liked going into the school everyday and talking with the teacher because I felt like I was more in the loop of what was going on in the classroom.

This year when she went off to Kindergarten I cried like a little baby while she waved to me out the window. The bus is an omg moment, its scary and its exciting but its also about letting them go. Kids do love the bus though its my dd favorite part of going to school.

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

First that camp is amazing.
I know people who work there and alot who send their kids there!

I know people who send their kids on the bus, but also kids 3 years old and over who send their kids there but do not use the bus.

I could NEVER send my 4yo alone on a bus....Just my opinion. I know everyone is different but I just couldnt do it!

Good Luck

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

Re: That moment when you realize your kid is growing up

I was in the same position last year. I sent my 3 year old to Ivy League for the three-year-old mini days and he was picked up by the bus. there will be a counselor on the bus before camp starts there Is an orientation and you come with the kids and you will meet the counselors. one of his counselors that will be with him the whole day will be on the bus she will put him on the bus and buckle him in. I felt the same way you did too I was scared and nervous but he loved it and everything turned out fine and he is going back full time as a four year old this summer. the groups are generally very small and is about two to three counselors per group so it's practically one on one attention and they do so many fabulous things at the camp. the only problem I had with the bus was it we live very close to the camp and he was just picked up very early I remember.