stopping negative thoughts...

how do you do it? I am having such issues with this.... I keep thinking negatively and this is SOO not like me. I am usually such a postive upbeat person but IF is making me become a different person. We just got a brand new boxer puppy who is so cute and I love having him. everybody has been saying oh why did you get a puppy you should be having a baby. We went to my parents house and we brought the puppy so my DH ate while I hung out with the puppy and I ate while DH hung out with the puppy (because he gets super hyper when people eat) and everybody was like that is what we do with the babies we take turns eating.... they were laughing... but, I just got so super sensitive about it. That oh look at them they have no kids so they have to act that way with a dog......
FYI: super emotional today just got AF, sorry about the vent....

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

I was always pretty negative about it also....I never really thought it would work.
IMO, if that is your defence mechanism - stick with it. Do what you have to do as far as cycling with your RE, but if it helps you to get through the cycles that's what works best for you.

And congrats on the new puppy!!!

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

ITA with Gerty.

I've gotten to the point where I just go through the motions of a cycle and feel completely hopeless - but I honestly don't think it makes a difference in terms of the success or failure of a cycle, KWIM?

So I stay that way.. because I have this problem where I either am 100% sure that it will work or 100% positive that it won't - I can't find the middle ground... but that works for me.

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

I understand how you feel I think it is really hard to think positive when you are preparing yourself for the possibility of failure. For me, I try not focus on the "what-ifs", and try to take it one day at a time. I'm undergoing IVF right now, and of course the possibility of failure is looming in the back of my head. But what I have been trying to do is just focus on what is going on today - which is stimming. I keep telling myself that I do not know that it will fail, and if it does, I will deal with it then. But for now, I have to focus on keeping myself healthy and taking my medications.

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

Oh man I know exactly what you mean. This whole IF thing has me feeling quite bitter sometimes.....which is normally soooo not like me.
And then you have to contend with people's comments/advice.....I mean I know everyone means well by telling me to "be positive" but after a while you wanna scream from that phrase alone.
But like every other struggle I've had to deal with - I'm not going down without a fight

ETA: Congratulations on the new puppy!!! They're so much funny

Message edited 5/12/2009 11:38:49 AM.

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

i Can't agree more with these girls..

once you get into IF treatments, it just rips your heart out when they fail.. worse than tyring on your own.. and my last cycle i thought was it.. and i was crushed when it wasnt.. so this cycle, i am doing what Hayley does.. just go through the motions.. not care , not get hopes up.. i can't seem to find middle ground either..
glad i am not alone

hang in there

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

I'm with ya all! I try and think of it as being nuetral or realistic, rather then negative. It may or may not happen and it is really out of my hands.
Personally, I really don't think your thoughts or feelings have anything to do with whether or not a cycle is successful.

And like PP, this is not normally my personality but IF changes everything.

Enjoy your new furry friend! I'm jealous!! :)

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

Thanks everyone. :

I just need to remain in the now.. not think of the future and take each day as it comes. You woman are so strong it is amazing... .. Thank you!

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

I'm also a very upbeat person. I found that once I got into a "whatever happens" frame of mind, things began to go well. Hang in there it is not easy to keep a positive outlook when you're going through this. I was actually very scared.

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

You know, I have this friend, whom I love dearly, but couldn't stand while I was going through IF because she always told me I had to stay positive otherwise the treatments wouldn't work. That was SERIOUSLY the LAST thing I needed to hear! And the truth is, I was a big arse stressball during my IVF cycle, with my father in the hospital getting his leg amputated, and just lost all hope when it came to having another baby, and it STILL worked, so I firmly believe it has absolutely nothing to do with the success or non-success of your treatments.

With that said, I think I gained the most insight from my therapy, which really taught me that it was OK to feel that way. As long as I fought against those feelings, it only made it worse. Once I actually forgave myself and opened myself up to all those depressing and sad emotions, I was able to deal with them better and move on quicker. So my advice - don't hate yourself for feeling this way - it's normal and it's natural and the best thing you can do for yourself sometimes is to just let yourself feel whatever it is you are feeling, for however long you need to

Re: stopping negative thoughts...

I agree with the other ladies, sometime you need to think this way to get through all this. Just try not to let it get the better of you.

Congrats on the new pup! And I will tell you a puppy is really like a new baby- they keep you up at night, need constant attention. You feed them, pick up after them. They get upset when you leave and so happy when you get home. They can tell when your going away for a long time. We love having our poms, I don't know if I'd be able to make it through all of this without those lil furry balls in my life! Enjoy it!