LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted By Message
Pages: [1] 2

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

The other thread about the kids in the car while mom is shopping in 7/11 got me thinking. When is it ok to say something to a stranger? Is it ever ok? When it's not about kids/parenting? The OP said the car was older model so she saw it was unlocked and the mom was busy shopping and not near the window where she could see the kids. As I mentioned in the other post, I'm not the type of person that would say anything to strangers about anything even if they're on fire. I keep to myself. I also wouldn't have even noticed there were kids in the car or the doors were unlocked or that the mom was even in the store shopping right next to me because I'm not a super observant person lol. I'm usually doing my own thing. But just for future reference, if I should ever encounter a similar situation or any kind of situation really and I happen to actually notice it and it looks like the kids are ok but they COULD BE in some kind of imminent danger, like you see some chester kind of creep circling the unlocked car eyeing the kids like meat, should a stranger keep that to themselves for fear of being reprimanded by the shopping mom? I can picture the mom holding her latte screaming "How dare you?! That's my husband!" Chat Icon Chat Icon Yeah, no thanks. I think I'll keep it to myself as it's obvious people don't want to hear shit and I'm not about to get into it with some stranger. As some people expressed in the other thread, the village should mind their own business. Maybe that's why I keep to myself lol I know people can be insane and I don't want some stranger flipping out or getting nasty. I just feel like people can be touchy these days and don't want to hear shit. After reading the other thread, I wonder where I got that feeling lol. So going forward if I happen to notice your sleeping newborn in your car being towed while you're busy arguing about expired cat food coupons, good luck hearing it from me. I'll assume you know best and your husband Pete is driving the tow truck. If I notice you're about to get a ticket I'll keep that to myself too. She might throw that latte at me screaming that she already knows and that cop has a job to do and a quota to meet.

Posted 8/2/18 2:10 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken

Member since 6/11

9145 total posts

Name:
Phyllis

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

I thinks it’s sad it even gets to this point. Don’t change who you are because people are dipshits. If you see something that can be dangerous be it involving a kid or not - either say something or keep an eye out yourself to be sure nothing will go wrong.

Feel like the person who got bitchy with a concerned person could have handled it better in the first place. Like oh thanks. That’s ok. My son is old enough to watch them. I know he doesn’t look it hahaha but thanks for lookin out.

But she didn’t. She got nasty because she prob knew it wasn’t the smartest thing leaving them and got called out.

I’m sorry. Don’t change your willingness to help because people suck. Like I said in the original post, I wouldn’t have said anything. I may have just stayed near by out of my own personal concern. I know people are batty - so if you say something to anyone, even in the more scencere way, be ready to knock them out if need be.

Posted 8/2/18 2:28 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Just tell me if my hair extension tracks are showing, or my skirt is stuck up my ass in my panties.

Both of those are very much appreciated.
Oh and the one time a woman on the subway platform told me that my dress was being pulled up by the way I was holding my work bag and my va jay jay was almost exposed to all of NYC

Message edited 8/2/2018 2:38:33 PM.

Posted 8/2/18 2:38 PM
 

starbrightgirl8
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/16

537 total posts

Name:

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

To me there is an obvious answer here.

Time when not to say something - there is no imminent risk, and the facts you're conveying are already known to the person. For example, the mom in the 7/11 presumably knew her kids were in the car and where the car was parked, no new information was being conveyed to her, hence why it would probably come across as judgment.

Time when you should say something - if there is an imminent threat and/or there is information that the person may not be aware of. For example, if you're in the 7/11 and you see a suspicious man lurking around the car, then say "Is that your car out front, because I saw a man looking at it and I wasn't sure if you knew him?" It could be her husband or a friend looking at the car, but it's information you're not sure if she had when he made the decision to leave the kids in the car.

I think this works also taking it out of the parenting context. So for example, when is it ok to tell someone that there is something wrong with their outfit. If you just don't like the pants a stranger is wearing, would you walk up and tell them that their pants are not flattering - no probably not. They choose those pants and are aware they are wearing them. They don't need random fashion advice.

If there is something wrong with the stranger's pants, maybe a large stain, that they may not aware of, then you might say "excuse me, I'm not sure if you were aware of the large stain on the back of your pants. It looks like you may have sat in something."

I mean there is no guarantee that someone won't get upset no matter what, but I think there is a clear line between telling someone information for a purpose and just stating something that will come across as a judgment.

Posted 8/2/18 2:39 PM
 

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by PhyllisNJoe

I thinks it’s sad it even gets to this point. Don’t change who you are because people are dipshits. If you see something that can be dangerous be it involving a kid or not - either say something or keep an eye out yourself to be sure nothing will go wrong.

Feel like the person who got bitchy with a concerned person could have handled it better in the first place. Like oh thanks. That’s ok. My son is old enough to watch them. I know he doesn’t look it hahaha but thanks for lookin out.

But she didn’t. She got nasty because she prob knew it wasn’t the smartest thing leaving them and got called out.

I’m sorry. Don’t change your willingness to help because people suck. Like I said in the original post, I wouldn’t have said anything. I may have just stayed near by out of my own personal concern. I know people are batty - so if you say something to anyone, even in the more scencere way, be ready to knock them out if need be.



Thank you! I wouldn't be one to ever say anything to a mom in 7/11 about her kids in the car. It's just not me. But, if it were ME, and someone said something to me because they felt concerned to say it for whatever reason they felt even though I was confident in my decision, I would just say "thank you! Yeah, they're ok, my oldest is with them" and I'd smile! Thank people for looking out even if you're confident in your choices. Thank people for noticing. You just never know in life! Cars can be engulfed in flames in a second! Kids get abducted in a second! Is it common? NO. Thankfully. But it happens. It's not common until it happens. Even in the best areas shit happens. People crash into parked cars while backing out of parking lot spaces all the time. Do you know how many times I've seen toddlers wandering off to the mall fountain while mom is trying on yoga pants or shoes? Or towards the pool edge while a parent is distracted talking or on their phone. Or climbing on conveyor belts or trying to jump off the shopping cart seat while dad leaves them in line to run to the other side of target because he forgot something. Shit happens even to the best and most aware people. My God just because OP said something it makes her disrespectful, a superior parent, a sanctimommy... wtf! Be CONFIDENT in your choices and nobody can disrespect you or make you feel lesser REGARDLESS of what they say or how they say it! Teach your kids the same! OP didn't say "ugh, formula is gross! Everyone knows breast is best!" with a side of eyeroll and a sigh. She didn't say "what kind of mother are you?? Why would you leave your kids while you shop?" If 7-11 mom was confident her kids were secure who cares what OP had to say?

Now ask OP after being ripped apart for 7 pages if she sees a kid in real danger if she'll hesitate to say something now!!!

Posted 8/2/18 2:59 PM
 

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by starbrightgirl8

To me there is an obvious answer here.

Time when not to say something - there is no imminent risk, and the facts you're conveying are already known to the person. For example, the mom in the 7/11 presumably knew her kids were in the car and where the car was parked, no new information was being conveyed to her, hence why it would probably come across as judgment.

Time when you should say something - if there is an imminent threat and/or there is information that the person may not be aware of. For example, if you're in the 7/11 and you see a suspicious man lurking around the car, then say "Is that your car out front, because I saw a man looking at it and I wasn't sure if you knew him?" It could be her husband or a friend looking at the car, but it's information you're not sure if she had when he made the decision to leave the kids in the car.

I think this works also taking it out of the parenting context. So for example, when is it ok to tell someone that there is something wrong with their outfit. If you just don't like the pants a stranger is wearing, would you walk up and tell them that their pants are not flattering - no probably not. They choose those pants and are aware they are wearing them. They don't need random fashion advice.

If there is something wrong with the stranger's pants, maybe a large stain, that they may not aware of, then you might say "excuse me, I'm not sure if you were aware of the large stain on the back of your pants. It looks like you may have sat in something."

I mean there is no guarantee that someone won't get upset no matter what, but I think there is a clear line between telling someone information for a purpose and just stating something that will come across as a judgment.



But maybe, for agrument's sake, the 7-11 mom didn't know the car was unlocked (OP said car was old and she saw it was unlocked as could any shady person lurking) or maybe she thought she locked it but in her rush forgot to. Maybe this was new information to her. "Oh crap, thanks for telling me OP! I thought the car was locked!"

Posted 8/2/18 3:09 PM
 

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by MC09

Be CONFIDENT in your choices and nobody can disrespect you or make you feel lesser REGARDLESS of what they say or how they say it! Teach your kids the same!



Not long ago someone posted that she saw a woman in a store tell a mother who was buying formula that she should breastfeed instead and the mother started crying. Was the woman an assshole? YES!!! A giant douche.bag assshole sanctimommy that should've kept her useless opinions to herself. But was the mother crying because of the woman's opinion? Or because maybe she wasn't confident in choosing formula in the first place for whatever reason? She should have been confident in her decision to formula feed and she should have told the nosy busybody seahag that her opinion was just that, and that as the child's mother she knew what was best for her child and kept right on formula shopping with a fat smile. This particular scenario is different than the kids in the car, but it all boils down to the same thing - doing what you think is best AND being confident in that decision.

Posted 8/2/18 3:31 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4431 total posts

Name:
Karen

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

My rule of thumb is that I only say something to a stranger, if I would want to hear that back. I would not want someone telling me I left my kids in a car because I know that - the person would just be saying something to judge me, whether or not they admit it. I do and would tell someone if they left something in a cart, if their kid dropped something, if they had toilet paper on their shoe, etc. Any stranger offering an opinion about something that I did not ask for, is rude and not welcomed. It's just called being nice.

Posted 8/2/18 3:39 PM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15660 total posts

Name:

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

You know, I saw a dog in a parked car at Wendy's recently. Windows cracked a bit. It was over 80 out. We were in that line for a good 10 minutes. Not even exaggerating. No one came out for the dog. I get to the window, tell the woman she might want to tell whomever is inside that left the dog in the car, that the dog is probably hot, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal (isn't it?), and she looked at me like I had 3 heads. We pulled into a spot, ate our food quickly and a guy came out, cracked his window a bit more, and went back inside. At that point, I wasn't saying anything else...because like you said, people can be psycho! Now I don't like dogs AT ALL, not even in the slightest. I'm not a dog owner, would never be, so by me noticing and getting annoyed, and speaking up isn't to make ME feel better about MYSELF. It's to ward off a situation that might not end so well. So, I guess my response is, if you see something that could potentially be harmful, speak up. Maybe not to the person directly, but the store, restaurant, etc.?

Posted 8/2/18 3:41 PM
 

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by KarenK122

My rule of thumb is that I only say something to a stranger, if I would want to hear that back. I would not want someone telling me I left my kids in a car because I know that - the person would just be saying something to judge me, whether or not they admit it. I do and would tell someone if they left something in a cart, if their kid dropped something, if they had toilet paper on their shoe, etc. Any stranger offering an opinion about something that I did not ask for, is rude and not welcomed. It's just called being nice.



I don't disagree with you. So, in the OP's case, if you can tell the car is unlocked from the outside should you not let the mom know? Would it just be assumed that she meant to leave the kids in an unlocked car?

Just wanted to clarify, It's never ok to give an unsolicited opinion to a stranger (even people you know! "Formula is not a good choice", "kids shouldn't be left in cars", "those ugly pants make you look like a walrus"), but is this situation (kids in unlocked car) considered an opinion? For me, it's all about the part about the car being unlocked that seems unsafe, not that they're in the car in the first place.

Message edited 8/2/2018 3:59:11 PM.

Posted 8/2/18 3:50 PM
 

starbrightgirl8
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/16

537 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by MC09

Posted by KarenK122

My rule of thumb is that I only say something to a stranger, if I would want to hear that back. I would not want someone telling me I left my kids in a car because I know that - the person would just be saying something to judge me, whether or not they admit it. I do and would tell someone if they left something in a cart, if their kid dropped something, if they had toilet paper on their shoe, etc. Any stranger offering an opinion about something that I did not ask for, is rude and not welcomed. It's just called being nice.



I don't disagree with you. So, in the OP's case, if you can tell the car is unlocked from the outside should you not let the mom know? Would it just be assumed that she meant to leave the kids in an unlocked car?



According to the post, she didn't let the mom know that the car was unlocked. She states "I said u know u cant even see your car and u have an infant in there with the car running."

Posted 8/2/18 4:06 PM
 

b2b777
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

4474 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by starbrightgirl8

To me there is an obvious answer here.

Time when not to say something - there is no imminent risk, and the facts you're conveying are already known to the person. For example, the mom in the 7/11 presumably knew her kids were in the car and where the car was parked, no new information was being conveyed to her, hence why it would probably come across as judgment.

Time when you should say something - if there is an imminent threat and/or there is information that the person may not be aware of. For example, if you're in the 7/11 and you see a suspicious man lurking around the car, then say "Is that your car out front, because I saw a man looking at it and I wasn't sure if you knew him?" It could be her husband or a friend looking at the car, but it's information you're not sure if she had when he made the decision to leave the kids in the car.

I think this works also taking it out of the parenting context. So for example, when is it ok to tell someone that there is something wrong with their outfit. If you just don't like the pants a stranger is wearing, would you walk up and tell them that their pants are not flattering - no probably not. They choose those pants and are aware they are wearing them. They don't need random fashion advice.

If there is something wrong with the stranger's pants, maybe a large stain, that they may not aware of, then you might say "excuse me, I'm not sure if you were aware of the large stain on the back of your pants. It looks like you may have sat in something."

I mean there is no guarantee that someone won't get upset no matter what, but I think there is a clear line between telling someone information for a purpose and just stating something that will come across as a judgment.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/2/18 4:13 PM
 

b2b777
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

4474 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by MC09

Posted by MC09

Be CONFIDENT in your choices and nobody can disrespect you or make you feel lesser REGARDLESS of what they say or how they say it! Teach your kids the same!



Not long ago someone posted that she saw a woman in a store tell a mother who was buying formula that she should breastfeed instead and the mother started crying. Was the woman an assshole? YES!!! A giant douche.bag assshole sanctimommy that should've kept her useless opinions to herself. But was the mother crying because of the woman's opinion? Or because maybe she wasn't confident in choosing formula in the first place for whatever reason? She should have been confident in her decision to formula feed and she should have told the nosy busybody seahag that her opinion was just that, and that as the child's mother she knew what was best for her child and kept right on formula shopping with a fat smile. This particular scenario is different than the kids in the car, but it all boils down to the same thing - doing what you think is best AND being confident in that decision.



What if that mom could not breastfeed and desperately wanted to? Maybe that is why she was crying. And even if i made the choice feelings can still be hurt it just depends on your level of sensitivity.

Posted 8/2/18 4:18 PM
 

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by starbrightgirl8

Posted by MC09

Posted by KarenK122

My rule of thumb is that I only say something to a stranger, if I would want to hear that back. I would not want someone telling me I left my kids in a car because I know that - the person would just be saying something to judge me, whether or not they admit it. I do and would tell someone if they left something in a cart, if their kid dropped something, if they had toilet paper on their shoe, etc. Any stranger offering an opinion about something that I did not ask for, is rude and not welcomed. It's just called being nice.



I don't disagree with you. So, in the OP's case, if you can tell the car is unlocked from the outside should you not let the mom know? Would it just be assumed that she meant to leave the kids in an unlocked car?



According to the post, she didn't let the mom know that the car was unlocked. She states "I said u know u cant even see your car and u have an infant in there with the car running."



Def not good wording. But, in general, would it not be ok to mention the car was unlocked? Should it be assumed she meant to leave it that way? I am def keeping shit to myself, way too dicey Chat Icon

Posted 8/2/18 4:23 PM
 

MC09
arrrghhh!!!!

Member since 2/09

5674 total posts

Name:
Me speaks pirate!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by b2b777

Posted by MC09

Posted by MC09

Be CONFIDENT in your choices and nobody can disrespect you or make you feel lesser REGARDLESS of what they say or how they say it! Teach your kids the same!



Not long ago someone posted that she saw a woman in a store tell a mother who was buying formula that she should breastfeed instead and the mother started crying. Was the woman an assshole? YES!!! A giant douche.bag assshole sanctimommy that should've kept her useless opinions to herself. But was the mother crying because of the woman's opinion? Or because maybe she wasn't confident in choosing formula in the first place for whatever reason? She should have been confident in her decision to formula feed and she should have told the nosy busybody seahag that her opinion was just that, and that as the child's mother she knew what was best for her child and kept right on formula shopping with a fat smile. This particular scenario is different than the kids in the car, but it all boils down to the same thing - doing what you think is best AND being confident in that decision.



What if that mom could not breastfeed and desperately wanted to? Maybe that is why she was crying. And even if i made the choice feelings can still be hurt it just depends on your level of sensitivity.



That's what I mean. Maybe she was sensitive already because she wanted to and it didn't help that that assshole made a judgmental comment like she did. There will always be asssholes that come along. Everyone has their own temperament and personality, but do what's best for you and don't give a single fukc what other people have to say Chat Icon

Posted 8/2/18 4:28 PM
 

b2b777
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

4474 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by MC09

Posted by b2b777

Posted by MC09

Posted by MC09

Be CONFIDENT in your choices and nobody can disrespect you or make you feel lesser REGARDLESS of what they say or how they say it! Teach your kids the same!



Not long ago someone posted that she saw a woman in a store tell a mother who was buying formula that she should breastfeed instead and the mother started crying. Was the woman an assshole? YES!!! A giant douche.bag assshole sanctimommy that should've kept her useless opinions to herself. But was the mother crying because of the woman's opinion? Or because maybe she wasn't confident in choosing formula in the first place for whatever reason? She should have been confident in her decision to formula feed and she should have told the nosy busybody seahag that her opinion was just that, and that as the child's mother she knew what was best for her child and kept right on formula shopping with a fat smile. This particular scenario is different than the kids in the car, but it all boils down to the same thing - doing what you think is best AND being confident in that decision.



What if that mom could not breastfeed and desperately wanted to? Maybe that is why she was crying. And even if i made the choice feelings can still be hurt it just depends on your level of sensitivity.



That's what I mean. Maybe she was sensitive already because she wanted to and it didn't help that that assshole made a judgmental comment like she did. There will always be asssholes that come along. Everyone has their own temperament and personality, but do what's best for you and don't give a single fukc what other people have to say Chat Icon



I think that is 100% true and ideal but unfortunately not everyone is built that way.

Posted 8/2/18 4:37 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7979 total posts

Name:

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

I don’t know if this counts because of the imminent danger factor, but Mom had her back turned at the supermarket, two or three kids with her, the toddler decided to stand up in the front seat of the shopping cart while her back was turned. I got a little frantic and called out that the baby was going to fall, she thanked me. I wasn’t judging, and I would hope someone would’ve given me the head’s up if it were my kid. Shit happens when your back is turned.

Posted 8/2/18 8:20 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7274 total posts

Name:

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

I would defend the formula feeding mother because I hate lactivists.
I would pull a child out of oncoming traffic.
I would yell if I saw someone in imminent danger.

Other than that I keep my flucking mouth shut because honestly, unless there is an immediate danger to someone, I don't really care all that much about how other people parent.

Posted 8/2/18 9:52 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by LuckyStar

I would defend the formula feeding mother because I hate lactivists.
I would pull a child out of oncoming traffic.
I would yell if I saw someone in imminent danger.

Other than that I keep my flucking mouth shut because honestly, unless there is an immediate danger to someone, I don't really care all that much about how other people parent.



Same

Posted 8/2/18 10:23 PM
 

starbrightgirl8
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/16

537 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by MC09

Posted by starbrightgirl8

Posted by MC09

Posted by KarenK122

My rule of thumb is that I only say something to a stranger, if I would want to hear that back. I would not want someone telling me I left my kids in a car because I know that - the person would just be saying something to judge me, whether or not they admit it. I do and would tell someone if they left something in a cart, if their kid dropped something, if they had toilet paper on their shoe, etc. Any stranger offering an opinion about something that I did not ask for, is rude and not welcomed. It's just called being nice.



I don't disagree with you. So, in the OP's case, if you can tell the car is unlocked from the outside should you not let the mom know? Would it just be assumed that she meant to leave the kids in an unlocked car?



According to the post, she didn't let the mom know that the car was unlocked. She states "I said u know u cant even see your car and u have an infant in there with the car running."



Def not good wording. But, in general, would it not be ok to mention the car was unlocked? Should it be assumed she meant to leave it that way? I am def keeping shit to myself, way too dicey Chat Icon



Based on the information I have, I'd assume she meant to leave the car unlocked. OP said it was an older car, so presumably in order to leave it running she had to leave the keys in the car. The 13 year old could have locked and unlocked the doors, but the 13 year old was also in the front seat so it's highly unlikely anyone was going to bother the car. I wouldn't even notice that the car was unlocked and I wouldn't be concerned if I did, but that's me.

But if you saw a situation where it seemed possible that the car was unintentionally left unlocked, I think it would be fine to say something and in general erring on the side of caution is fine, but be as nice and non-judgmental about it as possible.

Honestly, it isn't really saying something to the mom that I have a problem with, though I understand why the mom got annoyed about it. I'm more concerned that this type of judgment is what leads people to call the cops, and I think in general people need to stop and think about what actual danger, if any, a child is before involving the authorities, because you could be causing that child/family more harm than good.

Posted 8/3/18 8:33 AM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

4798 total posts

Name:
Pomegranate5

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Posted by starbrightgirl8

To me there is an obvious answer here.

Time when not to say something - there is no imminent risk, and the facts you're conveying are already known to the person. For example, the mom in the 7/11 presumably knew her kids were in the car and where the car was parked, no new information was being conveyed to her, hence why it would probably come across as judgment.

Time when you should say something - if there is an imminent threat and/or there is information that the person may not be aware of. For example, if you're in the 7/11 and you see a suspicious man lurking around the car, then say "Is that your car out front, because I saw a man looking at it and I wasn't sure if you knew him?" It could be her husband or a friend looking at the car, but it's information you're not sure if she had when he made the decision to leave the kids in the car.

I think this works also taking it out of the parenting context. So for example, when is it ok to tell someone that there is something wrong with their outfit. If you just don't like the pants a stranger is wearing, would you walk up and tell them that their pants are not flattering - no probably not. They choose those pants and are aware they are wearing them. They don't need random fashion advice.

If there is something wrong with the stranger's pants, maybe a large stain, that they may not aware of, then you might say "excuse me, I'm not sure if you were aware of the large stain on the back of your pants. It looks like you may have sat in something."

I mean there is no guarantee that someone won't get upset no matter what, but I think there is a clear line between telling someone information for a purpose and just stating something that will come across as a judgment.



Perfectly said.

But i would go a step further and say that if a creepo was lurking around the car I would say something to him first, to get the kids out of danger, and THEN follow up with the mom (to warn her, NOT to lecture or judge her). I know of no mom who would be angry about someone trying to get a strange creepy man away from my kids.

Message edited 8/3/2018 9:53:44 AM.

Posted 8/3/18 9:53 AM
 

Otherme
Square head cutie pants

Member since 3/06

6899 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

I think people are too concerned about minding their own business, and less about doing what is right.

If you see a kid that you think might be in danger, or in a situation that they need help - then just do the right thing and at least ask them if they're ok, or need help or find the parent. If it turns out they were being watched anyway, or some mom gives you a snotty attitude for being nosy, then who cares?
You tried to do the right thing and that's all that should matter. God forbid you didn't say anything, and ultimately something happened to a child because everyone was too concerned with minding their own business..


Posted 8/6/18 2:03 PM
 

mrsrainbow
LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

1465 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

I guess we;re just a very nosy culture nowadays. Everyone has an opinion about everything - good or bad. For me, it would have to be pretty serious to warrant me confronting a stranger about something.

Posted 8/6/18 2:24 PM
 

jamnmore
LIF Adult

Member since 6/16

989 total posts

Name:

Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Think of it this way - When would you want another parent saying something to you? Follow that and you are probably good, unless you would be ok with someone constantly commenting on your parenting.

Posted 8/6/18 2:41 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19461 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Spinoff to cars and kids and strangers

Your kid lost their shoe and I found it, I am going to tell you.

You got a piece of spinach in your teeth or lipstick on your teeth, I am going to tell you that too.

You got tp stuck in the back of your pants or you tucked in your skirt into your underwear, I am going to tell you.

Your kid running away in the store, I am going to play zone defense for you too.

Otherwise myob.

Posted 8/6/18 3:36 PM
 
Pages: [1] 2
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
Man Shows 'How It Feels' for Kids Left in Hot Cars Mrs213 7/14/14 4 Families Helping Families ™
Cars for 2 or 3 kids LoveMyFamily 11/15/12 9 Pregnancy
PSA: Kids in cars nrthshgrl 6/28/11 8 Parenting
If your kids like (Disney) CARS and pretzels... CouponKT 4/21/11 15 Parenting
A cute toy for kids who are Cars fans KateDevine 5/9/09 8 Parenting
Convertible cars and kids CaidensMommy 7/26/07 3 Parenting
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 105062 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows