Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

WWYD?

You have one child.. you barely break even each month. DC is in Daycare.

No way you can afford two in Daycare..it would totally break you and you'd likely lose your house.

YOu want a sibling for your child.

You are close to menapause (b/c of family history.. I may have 4-5 more years tops)


You LOVE the daycare and cant imagine taking your child out of that center b/c he is thriving!!!!


1.Do you have a second child, Take DC out of daycare and use a less expensive nanny or sitter for both. (now the second child wont have the same experiences or benefits as the first with the daycare center and first child is now home instead of at the center he thrived at)

2. Wait it out and take a chance you can still HAVE a child and wait until first child is in kindergarden (5 years away) and really didn't want your kids to be so far apart.

3. Try and be satisfied with one child and be ok with not giving my child a sibling which hurts my heart.

Im way too lazy to retype this in the poll!

Message edited 10/22/2010 1:09:15 PM.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

I think you have pros and cons to each scenario and in the end you have to decide which you're willing to live with. I think waiting 4 or 5 years to try for another, when you already know that may be difficult, will mean you have to be ready for the possibility that you will end up with only 1 child. And then if that happens, will you have regretted not trying for another sooner?

I think bottom line is this - do you want another child, a sibling for John more or less than you want John and DC#2 to have the same experiences at the daycare he's in now.

And just because you take him out of that daycare and do something in home or a nanny, does not mean he and/or DC#2 won't thrive. They may be different experiences, but it doesn't necessarily mean one is better than the other.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

I chose #1.

But I would probably wait another year until TTC. First by then your DS will be about 2. So by the time another baby comes he would be nearly 3. Then I would take him out and put him in a home situation with a sitter/nanny, in home daycare etc. And maybe try to do nursery school 2x a week. If you find a good sitter, there can be lots of benefits as well with the one on one attention he will be getting and if he can do school as well he would still get the socilization that daycare provides now.

In terms of the baby, I wouldnt worry too much about him/her missing out on the day care experience at this point. Just because you can always decide to put DC #2 in Daycare when DC #1 is in school, and also in a few years time your financial situation might change where you can afford a year or 2 of them both in DC.

I think the benefits of having a sibling to share their life with, far outweighs the temporary negatives you outlined.

For ME, I knew I wanted DS to have a sibling. I lost my mom when I was 25 and my brothers (no matter how much they drive me nuts) were a huge support for me and our family then. I can't imagine if I didnt have them.

Message edited 10/22/2010 1:20:48 PM.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

i wouldn't let the cost of daycare NOR the alleged benefits john is receiving at his daycare for stopping me from having another child. having another child means way to much to me, and it seems to you as well.

secondly, your new future baby will have the benefit of an older sibling who can show them, teach them, promote things that your first didn't have.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

#1!

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Definitely #1!!

There is always a way to work it out. I would never stop myself from having another child b/c of those reasons.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Posted by LoveyQ

I think you have pros and cons to each scenario and in the end you have to decide which you're willing to live with. I think waiting 4 or 5 years to try for another, when you already know that may be difficult, will mean you have to be ready for the possibility that you will end up with only 1 child. And then if that happens, will you have regretted not trying for another sooner?

I think bottom line is this - do you want another child, a sibling for John more or less than you want John and DC#2 to have the same experiences at the daycare he's in now.

And just because you take him out of that daycare and do something in home or a nanny, does not mean he and/or DC#2 won't thrive. They may be different experiences, but it doesn't necessarily mean one is better than the other.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Posted by MrsPornStar

Posted by LoveyQ

I think you have pros and cons to each scenario and in the end you have to decide which you're willing to live with. I think waiting 4 or 5 years to try for another, when you already know that may be difficult, will mean you have to be ready for the possibility that you will end up with only 1 child. And then if that happens, will you have regretted not trying for another sooner?

I think bottom line is this - do you want another child, a sibling for John more or less than you want John and DC#2 to have the same experiences at the daycare he's in now.

And just because you take him out of that daycare and do something in home or a nanny, does not mean he and/or DC#2 won't thrive. They may be different experiences, but it doesn't necessarily mean one is better than the other.

Well said. I agree with this 100%

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Take your DC out of day care. If you truly want another child then I honestly don't see the dilemma.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Thanks so much for all of your really thoughtful responses!!! Alot of what you are all saying def has hit home (i lost my mother 7 years ago and the thought of going thru that without my sister...I couldn't bare it.. so I wouldn't want to do that to john)

Great points about how the in home care can be just as good...and that John would be a great "teacher" to the second one. AND the preschool a few times a week.. I never even thought of that.

Thanks soo much!! I've been feeling like there just aren't any answers so It's great to hear all you guys had to say!!

Message edited 10/22/2010 2:28:22 PM.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

At my age, I would have had to chose #1 if I really wanted 2 children.

I feel that between option 1 and 3, you would not have another child because you would not want your child to go anywhere else but that particular daycare. And that's fine but personally a particular daycare would not influence me to have another child. Not affording childcare all together is another story. KWIM? But just to stay at THAT daycare. No, I would not do that.

Option 2 depends on your age. I could not wait 5 years.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

What about taking him out of daycare and being a SAHM? If you have him in daycare now and are "barely breaking even", then technically, you should be SAVING money.

You could babysit from your home, or work part time at night to make extra money.

Just a thought because thats what prompted me to become a SAHM 8 years ago... I would have been working to pay for daycare.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

#1

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

The question is how will you afford #2 despite the daycare situation. Formula, food, clothes, diapers. It's not just daycare.

Can you still cut corners?

You are already living paycheck to paycheck.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

Message edited 10/22/2010 3:04:17 PM.

Re: Spinoff to affording two kids in daycare: WWYD? (long) with poll!!

I would go with scenario #1. Do we ever really have the money for the wondeful things in our lives that we have? If we waited until we had the money for everything, we would not have the things we do. Know what I mean? You have a very viable option in the nanny and the pp have given you some great insight