Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I have always wanted 3 kids...I would just like a big family. I guess it is emotionally motivated.

We have friends who want and have only 1 b/c they say they will be able to financially provide more for their child in the long run than if they have more than 1. Someone else we know feels the same way and thinks about having children in financial terms...he only wants 1 child in college at a time. So right now they have 1 and if they decide to have another one it will not be for another 4 yrs or so. But I wonder if that is fair for their kids to be so far apart in age and probably not be very close purely for financial reasons.

I never thought of having kids according to whether or not I could afford to put them through college or what I would be able to give them "luxury" wise later in life (cars when they turn 18, etc). When we made the decision to have kids it was 1) we want a baby 2) yes we have a house, we can afford food, formula, diapers, doctors, the necessities that are needed.

Just curious what your thoughts are?

Message edited 6/19/2008 2:22:00 PM.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

unfortunately, money is the factor that is holding us back from having 3-4 kids

And I am 32 so I think we will be set with 2, MAYBE 3 if we have a girl next...dh really wants to have a boy too

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I want 2-3.. My husband wants 3....

I don't want to be PG forever so the next 2 will be back to back...

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Money, definitely. If $ were no object, we'd have 4 or more I'd say. But there's just no way with expenses, plus we'd need a bigger house, etc.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Message edited 6/19/2008 2:28:06 PM.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Before I was married I wanted 4...once I was married I only wanted 2...DH was fine with that as long as one was a boy...our first was a girl and after her being here for 3-4months DH said that if the next is a girl he is perfectly fine with only having little girls so we will be done after the next!

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I think we will stop after the second.

I can't imagine being pregnant a third time....but who knows.

I know my DH would want to try for a third if the next one is a boy. He wants a girl.

Again - I don't really know what the future holds for us just yet.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

How did you decide how many children you want?


I'm sure the fact we both came from families with 3 or more kids plays a role in our deciding that we wanted 3 or 4. Finances play a role in whether it will be 3 (if we are where we are now) or 4 (if we are able to do it).

Then there is the question of how soon...we want all our kids by the time I am 34/35 so that plays a role in how many we will have as well.

But overall we want 3 kids and I think it always goes back to my first point about our families.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I always said 2, maybe 3. Now that I have 2, I'm thinking "done" but that could change once I start getting some more sleep

Erik's only 4 weeks old...

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

We have infertility issues so there will be no deciding, only time will tell what we will be dealt.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I am an only child, and I always said I wanted 4 kids. DH has 3 brothers and said he only wanted one....

We comprimised and said 2 or 3, but unless we win the lottery, it will be 2 since we can't financially afford any more...

ets - DH and I had thought about waiting about 4 years for the next kid(to avoid two daycare payments), but we decided it isn't really fair to the kids to be that far apart...so we're planning on 2-3 years...

Message edited 6/19/2008 8:48:37 PM.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I'm done! My DH and I decided we only want 2 kids, I feel its just easier with 2. We have our girl and our boy now.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

we didnt..... DS was totaly planed... the next one due in DEC SOOOOO not planed GULP but hey what are you gona do????? we will deal with it $$$ wise & mind wise :)

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Well, we always talked about having 2 or 3. But then my pregnancy happened, and was such a disaster that I really, really, REALLY do not want to be pregnant again

DH wants more tho, especially now that DS is at a fun age, but I haven't brought myself around, and I am not sure that I can.

As for money, I think you figure it out. As long as you can provide, clothes, food, shelter, diapers, the rest you deal with slowly. If DC have to take out loans to go to college, then so be it. I did and I was ok with it.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

It was never really a conscience thing at all....

I remember years ago thinking that I wanted to be done by the time I was 30...

At 30 I had my 3 girls and said I was done. Never wanted to be pregnant again..totally BTDT.

Then I met my DH. We decided that maybe 1 more might be the way to go...said I wanted to be done before I was 35 so we'd better get on the bandwagon right away. DS was born when I was 34.

I would of had another one but DH said NO...so that 35 thing went right out the windom...

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I always wanted one... dh always wanted three.... now that we have dd (who is really such a great little girl) dh is the one who only wants one.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Our decision was based on age and finances, in that order.

I agree with your friends. My thoughts are such that i will not have children i cannot provide for in the manner to which i feel is necessary.

I know a lot of people think that love is most important. And YES it is. BUT it isn't the ONLY thing IMO you need to raise a child properly. We do feel that financial stability is absolutely necessary when considering more children.

Age, is also important to us. We both agreed that there is a certain age which i do not feel comfortable having children at. So once i do reach that age and if i have not had another child. We will not try. This factor is more my concern than my DH but one agreed upon

Message edited 6/19/2008 9:29:06 PM.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I've always wanted two. DH and I both grew up with one other sibling so I guess it's just something that seems normal to us. The years apart we will have them though is due to our current living situation (just not big enough)which really boils down to finances since we're saving for a house as well as the fact that I have been enjoying DD so much that I don't want to add another child into the mix just yet.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I always said 2 or 4.
I think I could be happy with 1 but I want DS to have a sibling. After losing my mom, even more than before, I realize how much I rely on my siblings.

Anyway, we baby sat (before DS was here) for our nieces and nephew and determined that man to man defense is a necessity to survive, so we agreed on 2. Although DH is still happy with 1 so we will have to work on that...

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Age mostly.

I'll be 38 when the baby is born. I hope to G-d I can get PG not too long afterwards with #2. I want to wait 6 months to start trying. DH would prefer closer to a year. Id like to have a second before I turn 40. Afterwards, I'd be less inclined to do so.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I would have as many as DH would let me. I always wanted a lot of kids. When I was 7 years old I was set on having 9 kids someday.

DH said 4, maaaaaaybe 5.

I hope it's 5!!!!

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

I always wanted a bigger family (4 kids), but 2 or 3 is more likely. Our rationale is a mixed bag-age, daycare costs, the desire to not be in the diaper stage for 10 years straight, just more practical I guess.

Re: Spinoff: How did you decide how many children you want?

Money is a factor unfortuneatly but it is the reality. I guess I would want 2 kids because it was just me and my sister. DH is the oldest of 3 but he still wants 2.