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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff from the wedding related post...
I have seen this Q a lot and I'm really curious...
if you had good friends who could not afford a huge "NY style" wedding in a catering hall and opted for a smaller restaurant wedding, would you base your gift on the place they're getting married at?
if your answer is yes, why?
do they deserve less of a gift than if their parents had money and threw them a grand affair at Oheka?
Message edited 5/6/2007 10:12:37 AM.
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Posted 5/6/07 10:12 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
you know I'd be on this one...
I put it down in the other thread..it doesn't matter where..it's about the relationship and what I could afford.
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:13 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
It would not matter to me at all.
It would be based on my relationship with the person and how much I want to give them as a gift, not where the venue is.
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:25 AM |
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sarahbelle
Little drummer boy
Member since 5/05 2377 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
I'd give the same gift, regardless of the location.
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:34 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by sarahbelle
I'd give the same gift, regardless of the location.
So would I
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:37 AM |
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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
gift based on relationship and what we can afford and what they gave me at mine too-
I don't think it is totally possible to base a gift on the venue because you really do not KNOW for sure what people are paying pp... and you can't EXPECT people to always cover their plate-esp. if they don't know what that is...
At our wedding venue you can have an affair on less than what we paid pp, because we had it on a sat. evening and added extras, how would anyone "know" that...
sorry for the long winded response, I just don't get when people say that...oh well
Message edited 5/6/2007 10:42:39 AM.
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:40 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by july06bride
gift based on relationship and what we can afford and what they gave me at mine too-
I don't think it is totally possible to base a gift on the venue because you really do not KNOW for sure what people are paying pp... and you can't EXPECT people to always cover their plate-esp. if they don't know what that is...
At our wedding venue you can have an affair on less than what we paid pp, because we had it on a sat. evening and added extras, how would anyone "know" that...
sorry for the long winded response, I just don't get when people say that...oh well
I don't get it either. it's like saying "you can't afford a big expensive wedding, so I am giving you a smaller gift" 
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:46 AM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Same here. We dont give based on the location.
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:48 AM |
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Jessee
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1260 total posts
Name:
Jessee
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
I have a general range that I give based on my relationship with the couple. Just because one friend can afford the Oheka wedding, and the other a KoC, doesn't mean I'm going to give more to the Oheka couple. IMO, they probably need the $$ less!
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:50 AM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by Moehick
Posted by sarahbelle
I'd give the same gift, regardless of the location.
So would I
Me 3!
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:54 AM |
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Arieschick29
aries+cancer= pisces&gemini
Member since 3/06 4268 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
upstate weddings cost $30-80 dollars a plate.....I give less for those because the couple did not spend as much as my friend on LI did ( $100- 200 a plate)
I guess I just view weddings differently
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| Posted 5/6/07 10:58 AM |
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LiPo
:(
Member since 9/06 1864 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
What if they eloped before your wedding and had a "wedding BBQ" 9 months later in upstate NY. Would you give the same gift?
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| Posted 5/6/07 11:02 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
for me its about the relationship with the couple.... and, also, we were one of the first in our group of friends to get married, so i wrote down what everybody gave us, and now that they're all getting married, i base the gift on what they gave us, too. our friends were engaged when they came to our wedding and gave us $200. when they got married, they had this huge over-the-top affair, and i gave them the same amount. i'm sure it didn't "cover our plates" at theirs, but i'm not gonna give them a bigger gift than we got just because they had a more expensive wedding.... and it works the other way around too. why should i give somebody less if they have a more low key wedding than we did?
Message edited 5/6/2007 11:18:49 AM.
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| Posted 5/6/07 11:18 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by Blu-ize
you know I'd be on this one...
I put it down in the other thread..it doesn't matter where..it's about the relationship and what I could afford.
exactly...and by the way...one of my DH's clients got married at Oheka, and when we went, we gave them $250. It's what we could afford at the time and I am sure it did not even cover one of our plates!!! Not my problem.
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| Posted 5/6/07 11:33 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by LiPo
What if they eloped before your wedding and had a "wedding BBQ" 9 months later in upstate NY. Would you give the same gift?
why do people deserve less of a gift if they don't have a lavish wedding? 
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| Posted 5/6/07 11:38 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by Blu-ize
you know I'd be on this one...
I put it down in the other thread..it doesn't matter where..it's about the relationship and what I could afford.
I agree, but I will say that if I know that a couple paid for a wedding themselves I might give a bit more to "help"....KWIM?
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| Posted 5/6/07 11:39 AM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Same gift regardless of location...I feel its tacky to give less of a give b/c someone is having their wedding at a smaller location
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| Posted 5/6/07 12:13 PM |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by Blu-ize
you know I'd be on this one...
I put it down in the other thread..it doesn't matter where..it's about the relationship and what I could afford.
I totally agree with this. I give what I can afford & based on the relationship not the location or even what they gave me.
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| Posted 5/6/07 12:25 PM |
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LiPo
:(
Member since 9/06 1864 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
why do people deserve less of a gift if they don't have a lavish wedding?
I didn't have a lavish wedding but I also served better than Hot Dogs and Burgers and had the party the day of the wedding. I don't want to give them $250 but DH is insisting (it's his friend)
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| Posted 5/6/07 12:28 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by Blu-ize
you know I'd be on this one...
I put it down in the other thread..it doesn't matter where..it's about the relationship and what I could afford.
exactly...and by the way...one of my DH's clients got married at Oheka, and when we went, we gave them $250. It's what we could afford at the time and I am sure it did not even cover one of our plates!!! Not my problem.
I agree w/you. if you're invited to a wedding and the reception is at a place that charges $300 a plate + a $10K site fee, you should not feel obligated to give more than you can afford.
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| Posted 5/6/07 12:31 PM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by sarahbelle
I'd give the same gift, regardless of the location.
ditto and it would be based on what we could afford as well.
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| Posted 5/6/07 12:52 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
We give pretty much the same gift no matter where it is.
We just went to a wedding in Key West (very small) and gave $200. Last year we went to a wedding in CT. and gave $200. If a wedding was at Oheka, I would give $200.
If we are really close with the people,we give more.
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| Posted 5/6/07 1:00 PM |
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NJmom
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Member since 8/05 4987 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
Posted by sarahbelle
I'd give the same gift, regardless of the location.
me too. and i think the whole "covering your plate" idea is stupid. that's not why i give a gift.
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| Posted 5/6/07 2:26 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
I don't believe in the theory of "covering your plate". If you can afford a bigger wedding, why do you deserve more money? I gave more to my brother for his wedding at a KoC than I did another family member who got married at Glen Island Harbor Club.
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| Posted 5/6/07 2:31 PM |
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HarleyGirlFLA
Come on in
Member since 5/05 9674 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Spinoff from the wedding related post...
We used to go by the relationship but that has severly changed my perspective since our wedding. Our honor attendants (matron and best man) that are married did not give us a thing. AND WE PAID for their flight from FL to NY. Our so called best friends  And we gave them a big gift when they got married because of the relationship.
Well now I go by what I can afford and also if I had to travel out of state to get to the wedding. (which I usually do)
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| Posted 5/6/07 2:37 PM |
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