Spin Off to People taking "your" name

Ang-Rich's post got me thinking. . .

I've had a girl's name picked out since I was in jr. high and I've never been shy about sharing the fact that I want to name my daughter this (it was my grandmother's name and sort of unusual).

When my cousin was preggo (a couple of years ago) she was considering a name that was 1 letter away from "my" name and I was so upset (even though I wasn't even married at the time) that I almost gave up on "my" name. (thank god -- she had a boy).

I have other friends who have given up on their chosen names just b/c family members have chosen names that are similar.

Just wondering if this is important to others?

Re: Spin Off to People taking "your" name

I too, have had this name picked out since Jr. High. It's a fairly common name, but it's my favorite and I love it.

If someone else was going to use it, I personally wouldn't care. I think each child is going to have his/her own personality etc.. so, it's what I wanted.

Even my SIL has my favorite boy name picked out if she ever has a boy. The ONLY reason I don't feel comfortable using that name, is b/c my ex-husband loved it and wanted to use it. If that wasn't the case, there would be 2 first cousins with the name Ryan.

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My BF is also having a girl- and chances are that our daughters will have very similar names. We are naming our daughter Kaitlin, and their top choice is Kate. Her and I discussed it- and we both do not care at all that our girls will have similar names. We are hoping they will be BF's just like us- so it would be cute if they had similar names!

Initially, I would have thought that both of us would be offended, but it turned out to be not that big of a deal. So I say name your child what you want!

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I feel that if someone tells you the name they are going to use that it's pretty much off limits unless they say otherwise.

That's why I never shared the names I picked. I never wanted anyone to use them....all the good that did.

Part of me feels like if it's a true and honest coincidence that's one thing but to use a name that someone else has already said they are using before you have a decision - regardless if they are pregnant or not - just isn't fair.


ETA: Just to be clear - since I am so sensitive about this....I mean when you have those conversations where you tell someone "Jane is my absolute favorite name and I plan on naming my daughter that" and then your friend - who clearly never thought of the name Jane has a little girl and names her Jane without saying anything to you along the way - I don't like that.

Message edited 5/7/2007 11:12:32 AM.

Re: Spin Off to People taking "your" name

keep the name you want

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I would say that if it's someone I am close to and we are both pregnant, then I would probably not use the name if she told me she was going to use it. However, if they were not pregnant yet and I was, I would use it. You never know what the future holds.

ETA: I just read Ang-Rich's post and in that case, I would totally keep the name.

Message edited 5/7/2007 11:17:30 AM.

Re: Spin Off to People taking "your" name

I would kinda combine 1 and 2. I would keep the name but tell the other mom about my intentions as nicely as I could. I would not ask her to change, and I would not compromise my own choice unless I really had an alternate name I liked.

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Since DH & I both grew up in families where EVERYONE was named after someone, and he shares his name with 10 other people, we have both always been pretty adamant to have a unique name for our child. Of course one of the names that I have always loved is now one of the most popular names, so I made a variation of it if we have a girl.

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Ang, I totally totally empathize with how you are feeling right now -- that's why I posted this.

You said:

Re: Spin Off to People taking "your" name

btw: this reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when Charlotte invented the name Shayla and then some old friend picked it and claimed she had never heard Charlotte talk about it.

At the end of the episode Charlotte took a pillow out of her Hope Chest with the name stitched onto it -- it was sooo sad!

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Uh oh - see I am such a baby today that I totally missed the point of your original post....lol let me remove myself and give an answer ...


If someone stole the name I wanted...I would still use it for all of the reasons people mentioned above and for all of the points that you made to make me feel better.

If you were set on the name and someone else used it whether they knew you planned to use it or not it's still the name you have your heart set on and should be used. No reason not too - like we said - we can't claim it but if you had your heart set on it then go for it.

Man, this is so hard!

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I have a name if I ever have a boy. I have loved it since I was a teenager and always said this would be his name. When my sister was PG with my nephew she mentioned that she liked that named. I didnt say anything to her. One day she said to me I love the name but it is "yours" and they picked something else.
I am big on not naming kids the same name as family or friends.

Re: Spin Off to People taking "your" name

i don't know, i think i'd let it go. if someone is not original enough to come up with their own name, i don't think i would let it get to me.

you really can't "own" a name. i know that is not what you are saying, but to get upset is not going to change anything.

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I had a name picked out for if my little was a little and told people so they would know and hopefully not steal it before I have a (hopefully one day). If they do, I will use the name anyway - cause its my name and I picked it first In all seriousness though I wouldn't not pick it at that point because what's to stop someone else from stealing the name even after your baby is born. I may have a skewed viewpoint though since everyone in my family has the same names

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If someone took the name that I wanted, I would probably use it anyway.

However, my uncle and his first cousin have the same first name and I have always thought it was odd that my grandmother and her sister used the same name. That may be because I cannot believe that 2 people were so set on naming their babies Harvey. Legally one of them is Hyman, but he never uses that name, and I won't even start on the Hyman jokes right now.

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I agree that you should stick with the name you like, even if it's similar to someone else's

We picked out our names early, and we were telling DH's best friend and his wife. And her response was "well, I hope you have a boy since the name you've picked out is similar to the one we like." I started to get upset, because I was in LOVE with the girl's name, that if we did have a boy and then a girl, I still wanted to use that name.

But after thinking, I decided it didn't matter...those are the names we liked, and if we wanted to use them, then we would. And they're free to name their daughter something similar if they so choose...

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Re: Spin Off to People taking "your" name

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Message edited 5/27/2007 5:33:12 PM.

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Message edited 5/7/2007 7:20:04 PM.

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Message edited 5/27/2007 5:33:29 PM.