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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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sorry to obsess... WDYT?
DH and i are planning to TTC soon.
we want our children close together in age (at least the first two).
i would like to do a VBAC. i know it's better to wait longer - from what i have read (here and elsewhere) OBs often want people to wait one year after the c-section before getting pregnant again.
i am so torn... i am pretty sure i want to do a VBAC but i am not 100% sold. but what if i decide that is what i really want to do?
but then i would be sad at having to wait to TTC because i really want my kids close together.
and on top of that i have to worry about putting 2 kids into day care (although we only need it part time thankfully).
sorry this is so long, thanks if you got this far 
so i know i have been obsessing about this lately, but humor me... what do you think? if you were in my shoes what would you do?
ETF spelling
Message edited 4/11/2009 7:02:44 PM.
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Posted 4/11/09 7:02 PM  |
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MrsPornStar
Partners in crime
Member since 10/05 14656 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
If it were me, I would probably wait. I would rather be able to decide as the birth gets closer what I want to do rather than have the decision made for me. Even if you got pregnant in Sept/Oct, Luca and this child would still be close in age.
Waiting also gives you more time to save more money.
i would love to TTC again now, but there is no way we can do it. I am taking this time to try and save as much as I can. I also want to try to do a VBAC and I know that I have to wait at least a year.
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| Posted 4/11/09 7:06 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
I agree with Hollie.
My BFF just had her second child this week, she attempted a VBAC. Made it to 9cm and pushed, but when the baby's heart rate dropped a little, they all freaked, knocked her out and she had another section.
She feels b/c she had the previous section only 15 months ago, they were very cautious (as they should be) with how long they would let things go on w/o a section.
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| Posted 4/11/09 7:10 PM |
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mcl916
my two loves
Member since 10/06 5133 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Um, are you reading my mind 
I've been having this conversation in my head and with DH for a few months now. We certainly aren't preventing, but we needed IVF for DS so if we want to get serious about TTC we will head back to the RE for an FET. Originally I was thinking May/June which would put them around 18 months apart if I was successful on my first or second try. But now I'm starting to have second thoughts and I think I would like DS to be a little more independant when #2 comes along. Plus I would really like to take a trip with the 3 of us and not be pregnant on it  So now I am thinking about waiting until Nov/Dec which would make them just about 2 years apart. Oh and the whole VBAC thing is also playing a part in my decision. I have a feeling if I went back pregnant before DS was 1, I would get a definite no way. At least if I space them out a bit more I might have a shot. Not to mention, I still have days where I get wierd pains in my incision so I'm not sure my uterus is even fully healed yet and ready for another.
OK I'm sure you didn't want the long-winded answer, but you got in anyway I definately know exactly what you're feeling though
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| Posted 4/11/09 7:54 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Mine are 16 months apart- my Dr. would have allowed a VBAC- I almost tried for it but gave up when it seemed as if I was making no progress like with #1.....
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| Posted 4/11/09 8:34 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
I would TTC when I wanted to have a child regardless of the VBAC situation. While I don't have experience with C-sections or VBACs, spacing was more important to me than the way I gave birth.
They way I think about it is since there is no guarantee which way you're going to give birth if you wait or get pregnant right away, you may as well space them the way you want.
Spacing is a lifelong thing versus birth lasting maybe a day (obviously baring complications).
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| Posted 4/11/09 8:45 PM |
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mcl916
my two loves
Member since 10/06 5133 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would TTC when I wanted to have a child regardless of the VBAC situation. While I don't have experience with C-sections or VBACs, spacing was more important to me than the way I gave birth.
They way I think about it is since there is no guarantee which way you're going to give birth if you wait or get pregnant right away, you may as well space them the way you want.
Spacing is a lifelong thing versus birth lasting maybe a day (obviously baring complications).
Good point. So is 2 years better then 18 months?!? If only I could see the future!!
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| Posted 4/11/09 9:12 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
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Me
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
I think its a very personal decision. But, don't they recc waiting a year after a c-section regardless? I'm a bit nuerotic and would probably stick with what the ob advised when it comes to health issues figuring they have their reasons BUT, that said - I have many friends that had C-Sections without waiting the year and they are perfectly fine so I think its totally what you feel comfortable with.
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| Posted 4/11/09 9:15 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by itsbabytime
I think its a very personal decision. But, don't they recc waiting a year after a c-section regardless? I'm a bit nuerotic and would probably stick with what the ob advised when it comes to health issues figuring they have their reasons BUT, that said - I have many friends that had C-Sections without waiting the year and they are perfectly fine so I think its totally what you feel comfortable with.
according to my OB (a partner of the one that told me they don't do VBACs) i do not need to wait to get pregnant again. i saw her a month ago and she said i could TTC whenever i wanted.
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| Posted 4/11/09 9:17 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
HARD decision. I mean I would be really scared of trying a VBAC at anything under like 2 years , but thats me. Im so scared of my uterus tearing....ripping b/c of stuff that happened with My Sons Birth. ....
Such a hard decision. I guess it would all depend on how badly you want a vbac.
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| Posted 4/11/09 9:32 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by dm24angel
HARD decision. I mean I would be really scared of trying a VBAC at anything under like 2 years , but thats me. Im so scared of my uterus tearing....ripping b/c of stuff that happened with My Sons Birth. ....
Such a hard decision. I guess it would all depend on how badly you want a vbac.
see i was scared at first but i've been doing research and that has helped alleviate some of my fears (not all of them obviously, hence this post )
but i had a very routine c-section with an easy recovery. i can totally understand you wanting to wait
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| Posted 4/12/09 9:32 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would TTC when I wanted to have a child regardless of the VBAC situation. While I don't have experience with C-sections or VBACs, spacing was more important to me than the way I gave birth.
They way I think about it is since there is no guarantee which way you're going to give birth if you wait or get pregnant right away, you may as well space them the way you want.
Spacing is a lifelong thing versus birth lasting maybe a day (obviously baring complications).
I tend to agree with Barb. I know that not everyone feels this way, but I don't see the birthing experience as all that important, and instead what composes the richness of motherhood is motherhood itself, not the process of getting there. I tend to think that the spacing of your children has a tremendously bigger impact on how you will live your life and adapt to your children's needs, than the birth itself. But that probably has a lot to do with my perspective on birth. If experiencing a natural birth is really *that* important to you, then of course your priorities change. It hink you just need to sit down and think long and hard about which is more of a priority for you
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| Posted 4/12/09 9:47 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Honestly? I'd skip the BC and let the chips fall where they may.
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| Posted 4/12/09 9:54 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
I didn't read all the responses because I am limited on time. But if this was already said, I apologize.
From what I understand....regardless of VBac or not, most OB's would prefer you to wait a year before TTC to prevent a uterine rupture.
That said, I know of plenty of people who have not waited whether it was intentional or not, I'm not sure. And have had successful VBACs, and repeat sections.
If it were me. I'd rather be "safe" than "sorry" and wait the year.
In all honesty, you really wouldn't have to wait that much longer. And in that time you can definitely try to stash more cash into savings.
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| Posted 4/12/09 10:20 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would TTC when I wanted to have a child regardless of the VBAC situation. While I don't have experience with C-sections or VBACs, spacing was more important to me than the way I gave birth.
They way I think about it is since there is no guarantee which way you're going to give birth if you wait or get pregnant right away, you may as well space them the way you want.
Spacing is a lifelong thing versus birth lasting maybe a day (obviously baring complications).
ITA with Barb. You may end up waiting and ending up with another c-section again since VBACs aren't guaranteed!
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| Posted 4/12/09 10:48 AM |
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Melissa77
Mommy of 3
Member since 8/08 2872 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would TTC when I wanted to have a child regardless of the VBAC situation. While I don't have experience with C-sections or VBACs, spacing was more important to me than the way I gave birth.
They way I think about it is since there is no guarantee which way you're going to give birth if you wait or get pregnant right away, you may as well space them the way you want.
Spacing is a lifelong thing versus birth lasting maybe a day (obviously baring complications).
ITA with Barb. You may end up waiting and ending up with another c-section again since VBACs aren't guaranteed!
ITA - my DC are 23 months apart and although my doctor would have let me try for a VBAC (I didn't), it sounded like there was a good chance I would end up with a c-section anyway. He told me things like if the baby was measuring too big (my first was 9 lb 10 oz.) or if the baby was late, he would do a c-section anyway.
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| Posted 4/12/09 10:57 AM |
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Jazzyt
My Girl!!!
Member since 8/07 2977 total posts
Name:
Giselle
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
I don't know if this helps but my mom had a VBAC but my sister and I are 4 years apart so she waited
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:11 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
i appreciate everyone's input... i am really so mad at myself for having the c-section in the first place that this is something i even have to think about 
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:16 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by headoverheels
i appreciate everyone's input... i am really so mad at myself for having the c-section in the first place that this is something i even have to think about
Hey, be easy on yourself! You did what was best for you and your son. And because of that you now have a very happy, healthy Luca! There is nothing wrong with that!!
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:43 AM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by sunflowerjesss
Posted by headoverheels
i appreciate everyone's input... i am really so mad at myself for having the c-section in the first place that this is something i even have to think about
Hey, be easy on yourself! You did what was best for you and your son. And because of that you now have a very happy, healthy Luca! There is nothing wrong with that!!
I agree! There is no reason for you to be mad at yourself. Sometimes things are not in our control!
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:44 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by niikki-8-18-06
Posted by sunflowerjesss
Posted by headoverheels
i appreciate everyone's input... i am really so mad at myself for having the c-section in the first place that this is something i even have to think about
Hey, be easy on yourself! You did what was best for you and your son. And because of that you now have a very happy, healthy Luca! There is nothing wrong with that!!
I agree! There is no reason for you to be mad at yourself. Sometimes things are not in our control!
thanks guys, i appreciate that, but the truth is i was the one who chose to have the scheduled C - my OBs didn't even push me to do it. i was afraid b/c of the growth sono that i would have a big baby. but even though he wasn't, i probably could have pushed out a big baby too, you know?
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:46 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by headoverheels
thanks guys, i appreciate that, but the truth is i was the one who chose to have the scheduled C - my OBs didn't even push me to do it. i was afraid b/c of the growth sono that i would have a big baby. but even though he wasn't, i probably could have pushed out a big baby too, you know?
Don't harp on the would of/could of/should of.
Take me as a perfect example. Labored naturally with pitocin, no pain meds, etc for 30+ hours. Finally agreed to a section. 20 minutes post op and the labor nurse tells me I should have pushed 4 more times, he would ahve came 
Some things you just can't control. You made the best educated decision for that moment in time. So what if now you may have done it differently.
All that ultimately matters is Luca is here, safe and healthy
Message edited 4/12/2009 11:50:00 AM.
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:49 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by sunflowerjesss
Posted by headoverheels
thanks guys, i appreciate that, but the truth is i was the one who chose to have the scheduled C - my OBs didn't even push me to do it. i was afraid b/c of the growth sono that i would have a big baby. but even though he wasn't, i probably could have pushed out a big baby too, you know?
Don't harp on the would of/could of/should of.
Take me as a perfect example. Labored naturally with pitocin, no pain meds, etc for 30+ hours. Finally agreed to a section. 20 minutes post op and the labor nurse tells me I should have pushed 4 more times, he would ahve came
Some things you just can't control. You made the best educated decision for that moment in time. So what if now you may have done it differently.
All that ultimately matters is Luca is here, safe and healthy
in my head i know you are totally right jess.
i am just obsessing and trying to get my heart in the same place. 
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| Posted 4/12/09 11:55 AM |
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Violet
content
Member since 7/06 1860 total posts
Name:
Mama :)
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would TTC when I wanted to have a child regardless of the VBAC situation. While I don't have experience with C-sections or VBACs, spacing was more important to me than the way I gave birth.
They way I think about it is since there is no guarantee which way you're going to give birth if you wait or get pregnant right away, you may as well space them the way you want.
Spacing is a lifelong thing versus birth lasting maybe a day (obviously baring complications).
ITA
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| Posted 4/12/09 12:07 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: sorry to obsess... WDYT?
I don't have any experience with a VBAC but we are going to start trying in Sept/Oct, so it would be fun to have both kids the same age!! Good luck with your decision
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| Posted 4/12/09 1:13 PM |
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