sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Ok i never really get into my personal life here... but i think i need help and advice my marriage is struggling.... let me go back 3 yrs (pre baby) DH and i had a great sex life... i wanna say we were like bunnies (sorry) well i got preg with the twins an told by the dr NO SEX!!! my cervix was starting to shorten right away.. well from everyday to nothing was hard... but we did it... now the babies are 2 and still NOTHING! i can count how many times on 2 hands in 2 yrs that weve been together.... its not him its me...i just dont have the desire i cant even force myself... i love him i do but cant really get myself to do the deed.. and I LOVE SEX (sorry) i had endometriosis pretty bad. had surgery and everything... they thought it would be better after the babies but it wasnt so they put me on all diff kinds of meds... (i have since stoppe taking) but now DH and i are fighting and yes all over being intimate.. i dont know what to do... i feel bad on both of our parts.. i want to but cant.... ill gladly take any suggestions im sorry this was so long and scattered im literaly crying my eyes out while typing this.. DH and I really got into a fight and it was bad... we didint even speak this morning when he left for work.... we NEVER fought till this.. its sad i know....

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I am so sorry this is happening.
Is there any way maybe you can have someone sit with the boys overnight or for a weekend and you and DH can get away and reconnect?
A mini vacation/getaway with a date night here or there may help bring you both closer together.

I am sorry I have no other advice.
Just know that we are here for you.

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Thank you Dawn.


Thanks ladies for the overwhelming support.

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I really think you should see a doctor. It doesn't sound to me like it's a matter of you not wanting to, but just not being able to.

Did you talk to you GYN about it?

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I agree, talk to your gyno.

I wish I had more advice

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

FM me if you want to talk since DH & I are going through the same thing.

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Maybe since having the boys your hormone levels are off? I'd see my OBGYN and see what they have to say.

I hope you start to feel more like yourself again soon.

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I think a lot of us can relate, so just know you are not alone. And I applaud you for putting it out there... That's a HUGE step and I am sure you'll figure it all out.

I agree with the ladies to see your gyno. I assume your hormone levels can be off, especially if you are on BC. And with the crazy hours he's working, I am sure it doesn't help in the matters. I hope things get better!

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I mentioned it to the dr last year when i was on all the meds but he said lets deal with this (endometriosis) first,, i havent spoken to him again since.. i think ill try that again.. THANK YOU!!!!

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

when you say you can't....is it because it hurts?

you just can't get into it?

nervous?

tmi...you don't have to answer...
any interest when you are "by yourself" if not...I would bet its chemical.

I would go see a dr, tell them what is going on.

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Posted by Janice

when you say you can't....is it because it hurts?

you just can't get into it?

nervous?

tmi...you don't have to answer...
any interest when you are "by yourself" if not...I would bet its chemical.

I would go see a dr, tell them what is going on.

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

maybe you need a day to pamper yourself and feel good and get sexy so you are home and ready to get DOWN!

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Don't be too hard on yourself. I remember there were times I was thinking "I've had someone on my boob all day long, don't touch me!"

I would talk to your gyn or an endocrinologist to make sure you're levels are ok.

If it's also a timing issue (you're exhausted or overwhelmed), middle of the night

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Aeriell, I am so sorry that you are so upset. Have you thought of talking to someone? Not permanently but a few sessions just to maybe get your life "back in order". I felt since Gilly was born that I never got back to the way I was in all aspects of my life. i always feel like I am running and doing for her. I can only imagine how much more it takes out of you with 2. I agree with some previous posters about getting away. Even if for just one night. What about your MIL watching the boys?

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Aeriell I dont know what to say but if you need a shoulder I am here FM me if you need anytime...


on a side note-- maybe you just need to "get back into the rhythm " ya know after a few times maybe it will be like the old times again..

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I don't think a "weekend" will help you reconnect.

It's been a while and I think you need to go back "gradually". Maybe have "happy" thougths. Start with cuddling, holding each other, kissing, etc.. Working your way up to feeling comfortable with the intimacy feeling. It's going to take some time. But you have to make some effort to work on it yourself. I read that lots of women feel content as a wife and mom and that sex is no longer something they miss.

You need to be very open with DH about it. He needs to be patient and not rush it but you need to do your part so he sees you are trying to go back to "normal".

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

Posted by smdl

I don't think a "weekend" will help you reconnect.

It's been a while and I think you need to go back "gradually". Maybe have "happy" thougths. Start with cuddling, holding each other, kissing, etc.. Working your way up to feeling comfortable with the intimacy feeling. It's going to take some time. But you have to make some effort to work on it yourself. I read that lots of women feel content as a wife and mom and that sex is no longer something they miss.

You need to be very open with DH about it. He needs to be patient and not rush it but you need to do your part so he sees you are trying to go back to "normal".

Re: sooo sad..... (parenting sorta) (tmi, long)

I'm so sorry you are going through this and hope you feel like your old self in no time!