Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Hi Ladies!!

I just wanted to introduce myself. I have baby fever like whoa! I just wanted to get some advice/opinions from all of you. DH & I got married this past Jan. He told me yesterday that he wants to start TTC this dec/jan. The reason being he is away now at a training for his new job as police officer, and graduates in dec. His outlooks is nothing is guaranteed, and he doesn't want to wait to start a family. He says you never know how long it may take for us to get pregnant. I get where he is coming from with the dangers involved in his job and all.

What I want to know is how long did you all wait after getting married to TTC?

Also what are your opinions on waiting to be more ready, and buying a house first before baby?

I am just curious. I know people say if you wait you will never feel ready enough anyway. Also DH thinks we will buy a house in 1-2 years either way. I think my two biggest concerns are if we live in an apt with no backyard, and have a baby in the winter how will I walk the dog when DH is at work all day or night, working possible OT also? LOL. I saw my best friend deal with this w/ her newborn. And also both of our mom's are teachers, and have off the summer, and I want to try to have a spring early summer baby so they can come visit, as we will be living about 5 hours away by car.

Thanks for any advice you may have in advance. Oh btw we are both 25 this fall.

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Hi and welcome!!
DH and I got married February 2008 and I got pregnant April 2008
DS was born December 24, 2008

so, we did not wait!!
my feelings are this; you will never be totally ready
we dont have a house
we have a 2 bedroom apt.
could we have waited and saved more money; sure
however, Im 35, DH is 38 and we really didnt want to wait

everyone's situation is different and you have to do what is good for you

Good Luck and This is a great group of ladies with lots of advice!!

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Hi and welcome! DH and I will be married 2 years this September and this is our first month TTC. You never know how long it will take. My BIL and SIL have been trying for 2 years now.

We do not own a home yet. We are in the process of looking for a larger apartment. ITA with those who say if you wait until you're ready to have a baby you'll never have one. There are SO many things to worry about and work on through life. You have to do what works for you. Plenty of babies are born in many different situations and things always seem to work themselves out.

Good luck!

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

DH and i started TTC as soon as we got married. we got pergnant fairly quickly and we had our DS after being married for 11 months.

we are now pregnant with #2 DS is 10.5 months old) AND we are buying a house!

DH and i had lived together for a few years before getting married so that was not an issue.

we both decided that we really, really wanted to start a family. there is no such thing as being completely, 100% ready to have a baby. DH and i felt that we would rather live in an apartment forever than not have kids. we worked hard and saved and now we will have 2 wonderful DC and a great house.

i think your DH is right - you never know what life will bring and if you want a baby now, go for it!

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

There are some people who feel that they do not want to have/try for children until they have a house. I am not one of those people. I think that having a family is way more important than owning a home BEFORE having children. Lots of people have purchased their home after having a child or children.

I agree that you may never be COMPLETELY ready. You can always have more money, less debt, a better home, better job, or any number of other "better" things. And you may always have some concerns or reservations.

The bottom line is how you guys feel - if you want a family, then go for it. Life is short and nothing is guaranteed, so go with your gut and follow your heart.

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

i'm in the minority here, but for us, it was important to have a house before actively ttc'ing. we will close at the end of august. there is a lot of other stuff going on with us right now too (i'm in a new job, dh is looking for a job) that could impact our ability to care properly for our future dc, so we wanted a bunch of it in place before we actively started.

that said, i came off bc back in february to get it out of my system, and to start to be ready physically. we both feel that if it happens, great! if not yet, that's ok too. but we're in no huge rush (though DH will admit, he's got baby fever like nothing else and has since a few months after our wedding ).

for the record, we were married in December of 2007, I am now 31 y/o and DH is just 29. we just don't feel the pressure (either from ourselves or others) to be parents just yet.

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Thank you ladies so much for all the advice. I think you all for the most part told me what I already know. We want to do this!! DH graduates in Dec from the police academy, we will both be 25, and married a year in Jan. We have been together 5 years, were engaged & lived together for 4 of those years. I am going to focus on getting super super healthy between now and then. I don't think we will actually start trying, trying in Dec. But more stop not trying to make a baby. Right now I have been using the FAM model "Taking Charge of your Fertility" to not get pregnant for about 3 years. I think it may be hard for me since I know when I ovulate for sure, and know myself and will so try, try even though were not.

BTW that is a great book, and I totally recommend it. It is by Toni Weschler.

Thanks again and I am so excited. It is so scary & exciting at the same time!! I hope it is ok if I come on these boards in the winter even though I will be living in D.C. by then. We are leaving L.I. the end of this summer, but will be back and forth both sets of parents still live here.

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

There are some people who feel that they do not want to have/try for children until they have a house. I am not one of those people. I think that having a family is way more important than owning a home BEFORE having children. Lots of people have purchased their home after having a child or children.

I agree that you may never be COMPLETELY ready. You can always have more money, less debt, a better home, better job, or any number of other "better" things. And you may always have some concerns or reservations.

The bottom line is how you guys feel - if you want a family, then go for it. Life is short and nothing is guaranteed, so go with your gut and follow your heart.

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

You have to do what's best for you and DH. When we got married in JUne 08 we decided we'd wait a year before TTC...well over time I learned of how difficult it could be to actually get pg and that freaked me out...i started prenatals in January of this year...and DH and I decided we'd start to "try" a little before the year thinking it would take long...well first month in and a BFP! We were so shocked! and happy of course...unfortunatly the pregnancy didn't work and I m/c...but the moral is that I got PG on the first try...so there is no telling how long it will take...so when you start be prepared that it could happen.
Short version...there is never a "good time" in my opinion to have a baby..or to do anything for that matter. There will never be "enough" money, or "enough" stability. Just do what your heart says:) Ok...preach over!

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Hi . I've been lurking and sometimes posting on the TTC board ever since I went off BC last September, even though we weren't officially trying.

We originally discussed waiting 5 years until we started ttc, but we recently had a long convo and decided to move it up because (1) we aren't getting any younger and want to be fairly young parents, and (2) I just can't shake this baby fever.

So it looks like we will start TTC right around our 2 year anniversary!

Congrats to you!

ETA: I agree with everyone who said there is never really a perfect time to have a baby. People get pg "accidentally" all the time, and they make it work. If its something you REALLY want and you aren't being truly irresponsible or selfish by TTC at this point in your life/relationship, I say go for it!

Message edited 7/17/2009 8:08:12 PM.

Re: Soon to be TTC (Long) Opinions Wanted

Posted by zoe282

You have to do what's best for you and DH. When we got married in JUne 08 we decided we'd wait a year before TTC...well over time I learned of how difficult it could be to actually get pg and that freaked me out...i started prenatals in January of this year...and DH and I decided we'd start to "try" a little before the year thinking it would take long...well first month in and a BFP! We were so shocked! and happy of course...unfortunatly the pregnancy didn't work and I m/c...but the moral is that I got PG on the first try...so there is no telling how long it will take...so when you start be prepared that it could happen.
Short version...there is never a "good time" in my opinion to have a baby..or to do anything for that matter. There will never be "enough" money, or "enough" stability. Just do what your heart says:) Ok...preach over!