Something that bugs me

So today at the wake of course everyone was very sweet and talking about my belly, the baby, and when I would have him.

THEN - one woman starts in with the famous questions "Are you going to breastfeed" -- I said "NO" -- She then went into a twenty minute speech about why I HAVE to breastfeed.

This is not someone in my family - just a random person....I hate having to explain myself and my reasons for why I am choosing not to breastfeed. I feel like it's such a personal thing and decision that people just need to mind their own business.

Has anyone else gotten this?

Re: Something that bugs me

This is one thing about being pg that I have found SO BIZARRE - that this is an appropriate question to ask people??? I mean literally some people have asked me this as the next q after hearing I am pg - My MIL included has asked me several times in front of people and I hate it...especially given that she did not herself. I always say "I'm not sure" which I'm not or "I'm going to try" After the look of embarassment crosses my face! Maybe it is just me but I feel like fine - if a friend or close family member asks in conversation but the way people just ask this question as easily as "what are you having" irks me!

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Yes, but the opposite. When people find out I am BFing, they try to talk me out of it. People need to butt out!

You have to do what works for YOU , and I think people who force their opinions need a good kick....

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I know what you mean. I was in the hospital for bleeding at about 20-21 weeks and the nurse basically browbeat me into putting "might breastfeed" on my chart.

I was nervous from then until when I checked in to be induced that they were going to give me a hard time about not BFing, I was lucky and no one did.

My milk didn't actually come in, so the point ended up being moot, but I can't believe the amount of people who have opinions either way. I don't judge people who BF and I don't want to be judged b/c my son gets formula.

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Right now I am truly undecided but I think I may continue to say that I am undecided even after I make a decision. The unsolicited info that I get isn't what will help me decide anyway.

I have recently gotten a lot of this question, "Are you going to let the baby sleep in your room?" I am starting to wonder if I should just say I am undecided about that, too. FYI, the baby will sleep in my room, probably in a bassinet that is not set up as a co-sleeper. Maybe I can ask all the people who tell me not to let the baby sleep in my room if they are going to come over at 3am to bring me the baby.

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The questions amaze me. The weird part for me is that they come from the most random people. The worst one was from the cleaning guy at my job. I usually don't answer and change the subject quickly.

Re: Something that bugs me

Posted by MsMBV

Yes, but the opposite. When people find out I am BFing, they try to talk me out of it. People need to butt out!

Re: Something that bugs me

I know - people are so nosy. When I went for my massage a few weeks ago the woman giving it to me went on about breast feeding for 15 minutes and why I need to do it. I wanted to be like "LADY please stop talking and get to work" lol - --- I walked out of there more stressed then when I walked in.

Re: Something that bugs me

UGH! that annoys me too!

Re: Something that bugs me

Sorry to say this but, it's the beginning of random people telling you what's best for your family.

Unless you're up to debating, learn the "Thank you for your advice. I'll definitely consider it." followed by the in-one-ear-out-the-other-ear move.

Re: Something that bugs me

luckily i have not gotten that response yet. If its your decision, then dont listen to what anyone else says.

Re: Something that bugs me

I am REALLY tired of having to justify myself. I think I did at the beginning to be "polite" but I am running out of patience.

From now on it's going to be.

"Opinions are like a-holes, everybody got one".

OR

"You had your chance to do what you wanted during your pregnancy, that's my pregnancy/baby... now is my turn. I will ask for opinions if I need them".

THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY!

Re: Something that bugs me

Get used to it. When Sarah was an infant I took her for a walk to our local park and she needed to be fed so I took out a bottle from a cooler pack and sat on a park bench with her. Some stranger comes up and asks if it's formula, I said yes, and then I got a huge long lecture about why she was going to be sickly for the rest of her life now. Meanwhile I never produced any milk, so I couldn't breastfeed even though I really wanted to.

Then a few weeks later at the post office some other random lady asks me if she's formula fed, I said yes and she told me it's obvious b/c she's so fat (she was in the 75th percentile both height and weight, so perfectly proportional) and another lecture on why I should give my 4 month old yougrt and cheese since I'm being selfish and not breastfeeding.

I cried the whole way home both times. Now when strangers come up to me I'm very standoffish and make it obvious I don't want to talk.

Re: Something that bugs me

Re: Something that bugs me

My neighbors and I just had this conversation last night..They have all been made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding. My one neighbor tried but it just didnt happen for her.

I have never breastfed. I was the only one at that table who has not been made to feel guilty about not breastfeeding. My one neighbor said its probably b/c Im 5'8" and the other person was afraid that I might whoop their butt!!! LOL.

Just stick to your guns ladies and do whats right for you and YOUR baby. Breastfeeding is not right for everyone.

Re: Something that bugs me

Posted by nrthshgrl


Unless you're up to debating, learn the "Thank you for your advice. I'll definitely consider it." followed by the in-one-ear-out-the-other-ear move.

Re: Something that bugs me

Posted by nrthshgrl

Sorry to say this but, it's the beginning of random people telling you what's best for your family.

Unless you're up to debating, learn the "Thank you for your advice. I'll definitely consider it." followed by the in-one-ear-out-the-other-ear move.

Re: Something that bugs me

Say, My husband and I are keeping those decisions to ourselves as they are PERSONAL (azzhole)

Re: Something that bugs me

i am getting that already at only 16 weeks - apparently me not wanting to breastfeed is the worst feet known to mankind... i just shrug it off when i get "you're not even going to try"...... if they are sooo insistent on this - they can come and breastfeed the baby every 2/3 hours...

eta: i think breaastfeeding is great - and its great for the woman that chose to do so --- but for me it is something that i dont want to do!

Re: Something that bugs me

You don't have to explain yourself at all. If asked, I usually say "I'm not sure yet"...if they go on and on about it I tend to act uninterested.

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I asked a woman once if she was trying to picture it (me bfing) that stopped the comments.

Re: Something that bugs me

ALL the time....and I hate it.

Why do people like to lecture and impose their views on others?

I try to avoid the conversation at ALL costs.....

I hope she didnt make you feel too bad. You shouldnt have to be made to feel guilty or bad about the decision. I tell myself that....

So many of us were formula fed, we are all fine and so will be my child..and yours...

Re: Something that bugs me

Posted by dm24angel

So many of us were formula fed, we are all fine and so will be my child..and yours...

Re: Something that bugs me

HAHA, one of my coworkers last week went on and on about how I HAD to BF. She even went on to grap her nip, and squeeze from the outside of her shirt, to show me how it's done. Then she is like, I will be over, and I will get you going. I was like Hello....I'll lock you out, they are my boobs, THANKS!

I try not to talk about my pregnancy or the baby AT ALL. I can't stand the unsolicited advice. if someone asks me a question, I am as vague as possible. I hate being this way, but i just can't stand the inquisitions otherwise.