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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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SO MAD!
there is an Admin at my job who is REALLY NOSY! she is always making inappropriate comments. well this morning she crossed the line bigtime!
without me going into details, how would you handle this?!
Message edited 9/20/2007 1:40:43 PM.
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Posted 9/20/07 1:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: SO MAD!
sorry...I need details...
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:39 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by Blu-ize
sorry...I need details...
it's personal... sorry
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:40 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: SO MAD!
My old secretary used to do this to me. Her desk was outside of my office so she overheard some personal conversations and would comment on what she heard. I did have to say "I know we work in close quarters so we are bound to hear each other, but please respect my privacy."
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:42 PM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: SO MAD!
can you talk to HR? do you share a boss? maybe talk to him/her?
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:42 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: SO MAD!
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:49 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
It would depend on what it was. After I got married at least once a week someone in my office (it was a small office) would ask me if I was pregnant yet. I finally made an annoucement at a staff meeting that I wasn't pregnant yet, wasn't trying to get pregnant yet, but if I was trying to get pregnant the constant questioning would be really hurtful. That stopped all those questions.
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:53 PM |
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LuvMyDH
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 882 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: SO MAD!
Can you confront her and ask her to respect your privacy. If that doesn't curtail her behavior I would go to HR.
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| Posted 9/20/07 1:57 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
Here are 2 examples of her past comments
On my 2nd day at the job she asks if DH and I are planning to have kids. I was taken aback by that Q, I don’t even know her! But I responded anyway and said “:sure, eventually”. She says “well don’t tell any of the execs here b/c they won’t like that”   
I have a cold, it started up yesterday. I mentioned in passing yesterday that I feel a cold coming on and how lucky my DH is b/c in the 5 yrs that I know him, he’s only been sick twice. She says “you’ve known each other 5 yrs and only got married 2 yrs ago? why did you wait so long, you’re not kids you know”! 
Message edited 9/20/2007 2:03:38 PM.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:01 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by Meaghan729
can you talk to HR? do you share a boss? maybe talk to him/her?
she's the CEO's admin. I would rather not go to HR. plus I'm new here...
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:02 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: SO MAD!
If you don't want to get HR involved I would just stop speaking to her. Only work related topics.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:11 PM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Here are 2 examples of her past comments
On my 2nd day at the job she asks if DH and I are planning to have kids. I was taken aback by that Q, I don’t even know her! But I responded anyway and said “:sure, eventually”. She says “well don’t tell any of the execs here b/c they won’t like that”
I have a cold, it started up yesterday. I mentioned in passing yesterday that I feel a cold coming on and how lucky my DH is b/c in the 5 yrs that I know him, he’s only been sick twice. She says “you’ve known each other 5 yrs and only got married 2 yrs ago? why did you wait so long, you’re not kids you know”!
umm....ewwwww......that last one was tacky! Personally, I would have been just as blunt by saying, "wow, that was rude"....
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:14 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: SO MAD!
honestly, I would just say as nicely as you can something like--- I really don't like comments on my personal life. I am a private person and I am sure you can understand why talking about my personal life at work can make someone like me uncomfortable. I would certainly do the same for you if you felt one way about some things I said/did.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:21 PM |
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bomb-blast
bye bye
Member since 11/06 1327 total posts
Name:
Leo
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Here are 2 examples of her past comments
On my 2nd day at the job she asks if DH and I are planning to have kids. I was taken aback by that Q, I don’t even know her! But I responded anyway and said “:sure, eventually”. She says “well don’t tell any of the execs here b/c they won’t like that”
I have a cold, it started up yesterday. I mentioned in passing yesterday that I feel a cold coming on and how lucky my DH is b/c in the 5 yrs that I know him, he’s only been sick twice. She says “you’ve known each other 5 yrs and only got married 2 yrs ago? why did you wait so long, you’re not kids you know”!
She sounds like a nutjob. Stay away. That's what I do with the nutjobs in my office. I ignore their non-work stupidity.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:22 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Here are 2 examples of her past comments
On my 2nd day at the job she asks if DH and I are planning to have kids. I was taken aback by that Q, I don’t even know her! But I responded anyway and said “:sure, eventually”. She says “well don’t tell any of the execs here b/c they won’t like that”
I have a cold, it started up yesterday. I mentioned in passing yesterday that I feel a cold coming on and how lucky my DH is b/c in the 5 yrs that I know him, he’s only been sick twice. She says “you’ve known each other 5 yrs and only got married 2 yrs ago? why did you wait so long, you’re not kids you know”!
I had a co-worker ask me about having kids when I was out in California visiting the staff out there. I know she was just trying to make conversation (at a nice dinner out I might ad), I came right out and politely explained to her that I understand she is just trying to make friendly conversation, but that's a very private matter between my husband and myself and I would rather not discuss it. She seemed a little put off by it, but was respectful of my feelings.
Message edited 9/20/2007 2:23:44 PM.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:23 PM |
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bomb-blast
bye bye
Member since 11/06 1327 total posts
Name:
Leo
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by randella
honestly, I would just say as nicely as you can something like--- I really don't like comments on my personal life. I am a private person and I am sure you can understand why talking about my personal life at work can make someone like me uncomfortable. I would certainly do the same for you if you felt one way about some things I said/did.
That might work, but that lady sounds like she's not reasonable enough to comprehend such nice language.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:23 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
I am seriously between a rock and a hard place. she is the CEO's admin - I was told just to let it go and that she does it to everyone, all the time. 
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:23 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by babybug631
If you don't want to get HR involved I would just stop speaking to her. Only work related topics.
this is what I would do too.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:23 PM |
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Bluepixie
Mamarazzi
Member since 6/07 2618 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: SO MAD!
No tact! I would take her aside and settle it without involving HR... It might really embarass her but it will save you from feeling on edge if you involved HR..
I had a woman who did this behind my back. At my last job, my director's exec assistant was SO nosey. I was leaving for 2 weeks to have hand surgery and I had just told my boss about 4 minutes before I walked back into my office. As I was walking in, I heard the assistant talking to my office mate about "Who does she think she is taking off 2 whole weeks for a tiny procedure like that? My sister had that and yadda yadda yadda" I came into the office and said "when you're done talking about me, I'd like to speak to you privately". When we were alone I told her she had no business discussing me at any time unless it had to do with a meeting or something work related.
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:26 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
OMG!!!! I just overheard the same admin telling someone to eat healthier b/c she's going to be a bride and "don't you want to look nice in your dress"?
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| Posted 9/20/07 2:47 PM |
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2girls4now
Proud Mommy
Member since 3/06 1745 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I am seriously between a rock and a hard place. she is the CEO's admin - I was told just to let it go and that she does it to everyone, all the time.
seriously I've noticed that Admins have a lot of influence and can really make things easier or harder. I make it a point to ne nice to the admins ( even those that are not nice)
dont get me wrong I'm nice to everyone but I've seen when a admin has it out for you- its not cool so I make it a point to stay on their good side even it it means girnning and bearing it
in my world they haev access to everything, know everyhing and do have their bosses ear
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| Posted 9/20/07 3:00 PM |
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Chatham-Chick
*********************
Member since 5/05 10312 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
Ok, maybe I have no couth  , but I don't think her past comments or questions are that offensive. If I didn't want to answer her questions, I'd blow them off or give her a smart a$$ remark back, with a smile of course 
I wouldn't get myself upset over them, nor do I find them worth reporting to HR or anybody else.
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| Posted 9/20/07 3:06 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by Summer
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I am seriously between a rock and a hard place. she is the CEO's admin - I was told just to let it go and that she does it to everyone, all the time.
seriously I've noticed that Admins have a lot of influence and can really make things easier or harder. I make it a point to ne nice to the admins ( even those that are not nice)
dont get me wrong I'm nice to everyone but I've seen when a admin has it out for you- its not cool so I make it a point to stay on their good side even it it means girnning and bearing it
in my world they haev access to everything, know everyhing and do have their bosses ear
that's why I am venting here!  I am not saying anything to anyone. it's not worth it
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| Posted 9/20/07 3:14 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: SO MAD!
My old boss's admin was like this. She was RIDICULOUS. I used to complain to DH about her all the time. Finally DH told me to "pull a Phoebe" Apparently there was an episode of Friends where Phoebe said something like, "Um, ok I don't know how to talk to you." So I did it & it worked for a while. She finally said something soooooooo inappropriate to someone she got let go. But she left me alone
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| Posted 9/20/07 3:17 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO MAD!
Posted by MsMBV
My old boss's admin was like this. She was RIDICULOUS. I used to complain to DH about her all the time. Finally DH told me to "pull a Phoebe" Apparently there was an episode of Friends where Phoebe said something like, "Um, ok I don't know how to talk to you." So I did it & it worked for a while. She finally said something soooooooo inappropriate to someone she got let go. But she left me alone
I need to see that Friends episode!
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| Posted 9/20/07 3:18 PM |
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