Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

DD is 4 1/2 mos old. She is a terrible napper. She fights sleep even though she is exhausted - yawning, rubbing her eyes, etc. She falls asleep in my arms (or someone else's) and if I go to put her down, she instantly wakes up!! On top of that, all she wants is to be held all day and walked so she can look all around her.

I've had limited success with the swing. She won't nap in it and if I catch her at an ok time she'll hang out in it for a bit before the crying starts. Same thing with the carrier. Sometimes she's ok and has fallen asleep in it but generally, she's not a big fan.

I'm not sure what to do about her napping. People are making me feel awful that I've spoiled her and I need to sleep train her. I feel terrible because she's so little and all I want is for her to sleep. When she's overtired, she gets hysterical and it breaks my heart. She's a different baby when she's rested.

We were doing better at night. I would nurse her to sleep, which takes forever because she comfort nurses, and then put her down. But now she is waking up much more often. Not sure if it's the 4 month regression, or we just moved into a new house and she needs to get used to it.

We are all over the place. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you!

Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

I have had a similar problem but my d is 8 weeks old. This week I started a new nap routine. I put her in a sleep sack so she is warm and give her 4oz of breast milk from a bottle. If she is still not asleep I nurse her for about 10 min and she is out. For us the sleep sack and bottle have made all the difference.

Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

DD was not a great sleeper at night but she has always been a great napper. I did the eat, play, sleep routine with her. I paid attention to the clock but basically I would put her down for a nap at the first tiny eye rub or fussy noise. I sang a song and put on her musical seahorse and sometimes she cried a few minutes but usually not at all. Up until 4.5 months, she napped close to an hour after being awake about an hour. After that, she stayed up about 2 hours and then napped for an hour. I don't mean to make it sound so easy, we had rough days too. If things weren't going well or she was overtired, I hopped in the car and drove around to get her to pass out. Other days, I let her nurse to sleep and stay on my lap to nap. I would try putting her down earlier than you think to catch her before she's too tired, give her a few cuddles to help her relax, some white noise, and music and see if she'll go to sleep on her own. The hardest part for me was figuring out when she was ready to nap whenever she was ready for a change. Once I figured it out and stuck to it, things usually went smoothly. GL and please know you have NOT spoiled your baby at 4 months old! You are making her secure in a new and scary world so that she can feel comfortable and not always need you right there with her every second.

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

we had 4 month regression bad

she sounds overtired. maybe try a nap routine (similar to bedtime routine) that starts before she's tired or overtired?

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

ugh! That was when my DD went through the sleep regression! It stunk.

Have you tried swaddling? That was a SAVIOR for us!

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Do you use a sound machine? Blackout curtains? Is she congested at all? If so a cool mist humidifier would help, as would putting the crib mattress at an incline. How long have you left her to fuss before taking her out? Sometimes DD will fuss too for about 5 minutes in her crib and then totally passes out. It's just her thing.

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Maybe you're waiting too long to put her down to sleep? Sometimes when they are overtired it's harder to fall asleep.

Also, it's ok to let the baby cry a few minutes. Sometimes if you leave them alone for 5 minutes they fall right to sleep. I know it's hard to list to, but it's much easier to do it now rather than when they are crawling or standing in the crib!

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

im right there with you... almost word for word

its brutal!

maybe its my fault for not always putting LO down when younger, but really i just feel he is not a fan of napping

i have found i can transfer to a couch easier.. meaning LO falls asleep in my arms then i can lay down on the couch. now you cant leave LO so it doenst help in that aspect but it helps transition to the crib.

my dr said to raise heat... they may be chilly and looking for body heat

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the replies.

To answer some questions, she is definitely overtired. She rubs her eyes so hard with those tiny hands!! I try and put her down prior to this and nothing. I also put her down and let her cry for a bit but then she gets hysterical. Full on wailing, tears, gets bright red, crying so much she starts to choke. I obv won't leave her down when she gets like that and she works herself up pretty quickly. I don't swaddle because she's never liked it and always kicks.

I guess I just need to take it day by day. I just hope it doesn't get worse as she gets older. I'm hoping she'll outgrow some of these tendencies with age.

Today we added constipation. Poor thing was trying so hard to go, squeezing, loud grunting, and nothing. Sigh.

Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

With my DD I found I was trying to put her down at the wrong times. At 4 months we started the book "The Sleep Easy Solution" and it honestly changed our lives. Good luck. Feel free to pm me with any questions about the book, but it worked like a charm for us!

Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Just curious, do you cosleep or let her take a nap on you for say an hour? She is still a newborn and may just not be ready to be on her own yet. Once I stopped fighting trying to get her on a schedule or nap in the swing our worlds changed. She is sleeping in a rock n play at night and we are also cosleeping. During the days when I could nap with her i did and she slept well. And then at night I nursed her to sleep and she sleptbetter. She would never go down for a nap anywhere else unless she cried in her car seat In the car and then eventually fell asleep. She now will sleep in her swing for a nap during the day, I nurse her to sleep at night and she is sleeping about 5 straight hours. It gets better each day. I think its a huge transition and it may just take some time. Id say leave the schedule until she is 6 or so months and continue to comfort her.

Message edited 12/15/2013 9:00:00 AM.

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

My DS is a bit younger, but we are breastfeeding and he sleeps in the rock n play and naps in his swing so I figured we have somewhat similar circumstances. I've found that before bed when he finishes nursing for food and is just comfort nursing, it actually helps him fall asleep if I give the pacifier and hand him off to DH. When I'm the one holding him he wants boob, but if I pass him off he's fine after a couple minutes. It sometimes makes me feel badly that I can't get him to fall asleep, but hey, it gives me a bit of a break and lets daddy do something!

This may not help with naps, but you mentioned taking forever to get to sleep at night, too, so just a thought. Other than that, 4 month sleep regression is a real thing AND you just moved so as frustrating as it is just keep trying different things to see what works! Good luck!

Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

I remember reading somewhere about putting one of your shirts in the crib (obviously away from them) but that it helps comfort them to have you smell near by. Maybe that would help if he's getting used to a new environment. Also, loud white noise if you're not doing that already.

Are you getting out much? DD always slept better if we got out at some point during the day. It was like she got a little stir crazy otherwise. She napped in the swing in the morning while I showered, then I fed her once she woke up and we would go run an errand until she got fussy. Then she'd pass out on the way home. I think it helps to break up the day, for both you and the baby!

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

I cant say enough about this website: www.troublesometots.com

I thought I was going to lose my mind about naps and overnight sleep and this site put me in my place, helped me know what to expect at each age and what I could do about it... hope it helps!

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

I have similar issues with one of my twins (a few weeks older than your LO), going out of my mind!!!! You are not alone

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Thanks again for the replies everyone. Tonight was an absolute disaster. I usually nurse DD to bed between 8-8:30p. We went early tonight at 6:40p because she was fussy/crying. I figured if I got a few hrs out of her and she woke up again, I'd be ok with it.

She nursed for close to an hr and a half. I literally took her off the boob 3 times and she kept going nuts. The 3rd time, I was able to keep her off. DH came in the room and transferred her to the PNP and she was promptly awake.

I was downstairs doing work and DH came down and I could hear her crying. I was like what's going on? He wanted to let her CIO. I couldn't do it. I think she's still too little at 4 1/2 mos. I started crying and he went and got her. We ended arguing over it. He's angry at me because he thinks I'm prolonging the situation by not doing anything about it. She finally fell asleep on DH's chest in our bed.

Lots of tears tonight. I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end and feel terrible.

Message edited 12/15/2013 10:16:17 PM.

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

Message edited 12/16/2013 5:03:51 AM.

Re: Sleep Advice - Starting to Lose It!! (Long)

DD wasn't a paci kid but thank goodness she liked the swing for napping.

At night was a different story and we had to let her fuss a bit. She'd get so over tired she couldn't do anything but fuss... still gets this way now at 14 months. As tough as it is we let her fuss. In a few minutes she's sleeping and wakes up happy and all smiles. It's worth a few minutes of whiny cries for a happy baby. And sleep is so important.