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ChristineR
New Year, New Beginnings!
Member since 5/05 2083 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Situation.. need help for a friend
My friend asked me this question and wants some advice.. where else do I turn? My other friends....you!!!
Friend- Ann
Boyfriend- Bill
Scenario:
If Ann was dating Bill and Bill told YOU that YOU were the one he should be dating and YOU are the one he wants to be with. Would you tell Ann?
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Posted 10/17/05 2:03 PM  |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
how close are you to Ann?
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:04 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
YES!
I would tell her and my DH is a HEARTBEAT.
She does not need to be wasting her time on someone who is not worthy of her time.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:04 PM |
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ChristineR
New Year, New Beginnings!
Member since 5/05 2083 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by Redhead
how close are you to Ann?
Like a sister
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:05 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Tell her so she doesn't waste her time on someone who doesn't want to be with her!
Message edited 10/17/2005 2:06:49 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:05 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
then i most certainly would tell her!
I wouldn't want my friend to invest anymore feelings in someone who will not return them
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:06 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Since you are that close - yes, I would tell her. She is wasting her time with this guy.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:07 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
I would definitely tell her but be aware that she may decide NOT to believe you and it could add some strain on your friendship.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:08 PM |
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ChristineR
New Year, New Beginnings!
Member since 5/05 2083 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by shamrock12472
I would definitely tell her but be aware that she may decide NOT to believe you and it could add some strain on your friendship.
That's what she (my friend) is worried about. She's concerned that she will think she was coming on to him or something like that. She really wants "Ann" to find out herself but she doesn't think "Bill" will tell her.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:10 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
A really good friendship can withstand the strain. Even if Ann doesn't "believe" her friend, she will still have that little seed in her mind and it may help to bring her around to really see what her relationship with Bill is all about. A real friend will apologize and forgive.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:12 PM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by Moehick
Tell her so she doesn't waste her time on someone who doesn't want to be with her!
I agree
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:18 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by ChristineR
Posted by shamrock12472
I would definitely tell her but be aware that she may decide NOT to believe you and it could add some strain on your friendship.
That's what she (my friend) is worried about. She's concerned that she will think she was coming on to him or something like that. She really wants "Ann" to find out herself but she doesn't think "Bill" will tell her.
in the end...if they are really good friends, although she might not like to hear it at first, she will believe your friend!
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:26 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by Redhead
Posted by ChristineR
Posted by shamrock12472
I would definitely tell her but be aware that she may decide NOT to believe you and it could add some strain on your friendship.
That's what she (my friend) is worried about. She's concerned that she will think she was coming on to him or something like that. She really wants "Ann" to find out herself but she doesn't think "Bill" will tell her.
in the end...if they are really good friends, although she might not like to hear it at first, she will believe your friend!
And I think you should preface it with that - "I don't know how to say this, and wondered if I should tell you..." Ask Amy just gave the same advice last week.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:33 PM |
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Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by ChristineR
Posted by shamrock12472
I would definitely tell her but be aware that she may decide NOT to believe you and it could add some strain on your friendship.
That's what she (my friend) is worried about. She's concerned that she will think she was coming on to him or something like that. She really wants "Ann" to find out herself but she doesn't think "Bill" will tell her.
just curious...why would Bill tell his the other woman for? Is Ann going to be with Bill? Because that sort of changes what I would say or do.
If Ann has no intention on dating Bill...then she should tell her friend...her friend may be mad at her for awhile...but eventually after the dust has settled she will realize that Ann was only thinking of her
If Ann wants to date Bill...then they should talk to the friend together...although the friend will probably not talk to Ann again...or at least not for awhile...unless she also sense that the relationship is not working.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:37 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by BoobobunnyIf Ann wants to date Bill...then they should talk to the friend together...although the friend will probably not talk to Ann again...or at least not for awhile...unless she also sense that the relationship is not working.
I completely missed that as an option. Ann shouldn't date Bill. She'd be a ***** in my book. Not that she'd really cares what I think.
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| Posted 10/17/05 2:57 PM |
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ChristineR
New Year, New Beginnings!
Member since 5/05 2083 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
just curious...why would Bill tell his the other woman for? Is Ann going to be with Bill? Because that sort of changes what I would say or do.
If Ann has no intention on dating Bill...then she should tell her friend...her friend may be mad at her for awhile...but eventually after the dust has settled she will realize that Ann was only thinking of her
If Ann wants to date Bill...then they should talk to the friend together...although the friend will probably not talk to Ann again...or at least not for awhile...unless she also sense that the relationship is not working.
My friend thinks that if she doesn't tell Ann that maybe down the line Bill might mention that he had feelings for her friend.
Ann is dating Bill at the present moment.
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| Posted 10/17/05 3:00 PM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
I would want my friend to tell me!! I have been through one divorce, I value greatly my friends input and feelings!
I choose my friends carefully and would never doubt what they told me was not true....or they wouldn't be my friend.
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| Posted 10/17/05 3:03 PM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Just another thought -
what kind of relationship do I/you have with Bill? I'm just curious because they must be close or have had a history for him to say that.
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| Posted 10/17/05 3:13 PM |
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ChristineR
New Year, New Beginnings!
Member since 5/05 2083 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by Donna
Just another thought -
what kind of relationship do I/you have with Bill? I'm just curious because they must be close or have had a history for him to say that.
She's not close with Bill at all, he's just her friends boyfriend 
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| Posted 10/17/05 3:52 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
If she is like a sister, then Ann can handle the truth. If she doesn't believe her- then the friendship wasn't based on that much in the first place.
If my sister told me that- I would totally believe her.
Actually, I had a friend who was in the exact same situation. She set this couple up and they started dating. Then the guy told my friend he wanted her. My friend confronted the girl who said, "I believe you- but I prefer not to, so I will pretend you didn't say it" (I should add the girl was very nice, but had NO self esteem). Needless to say, the friendship ended after that. Well they went out for a while and, of course they broke up and now 10 years later, the girl is still single and looking for Mr. Right.
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| Posted 10/17/05 3:59 PM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Situation.. need help for a friend
Posted by ChristineR
Posted by Donna
Just another thought -
what kind of relationship do I/you have with Bill? I'm just curious because they must be close or have had a history for him to say that.
She's not close with Bill at all, he's just her friends boyfriend
well then she should def. tell Ann what Bill is saying.
I only asked about their relationship because if they're not that close than what is Bill basing it on? just looks? etc.
I'm sorry your friend has to deal with this.
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| Posted 10/17/05 3:59 PM |
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