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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Siblings that take from older parents
Does anyone have this? I am having a hard time watching this over and over and it causes much friction between me and my parents when I share my feelings. At this moment my parents are not speaking to me for voicing my opinion. Not sure how to deal with this. 
Message edited 2/15/2016 9:23:13 AM.
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Posted 2/15/16 9:21 AM  |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Siblings that take from older parents
Are your parents willingly giving to your siblings? And are they competent to know what they are doing? Are your parents financially able to give what they are giving without suffering themselves? If so, then unfortunately I don't think you have a right to say anything. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their money. But I do understand that it can definitely cause a lot of hard feelings. It doesn't seem like your parents understand or care about that
Message edited 2/15/2016 9:34:55 AM.
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| Posted 2/15/16 9:30 AM |
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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Siblings that take from older parents
Posted by chilltocam
Are your parents willingly giving to your siblings? And are they competent to know what they are doing? Are your parents financially able to give what they are giving without suffering themselves? If so, then unfortunately I don't think you have a right to say anything. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their money.
Yes, they are competent. I hear you. It just bothers me terribly. This has gone on for many years and they just sold their house and bought cheaper out of state so have lots of excess cash. They are very frugal with the way they live, yet they are constantly giving. I am talking, I just found out they bought sibling a brand new 2016 car. We have also dealt with addiction in this situation and this person has been sober a couple of months. Sibling is in a situation to make car payments themselves. I guess I am upset he accepted the offer. His ex-wife has given him a hard time telling him my parents should buy their son (parents grandson) a car in college since they have money. They refused. Now he gave his son his old car that was my parents and has the new car. I feel she has worked on my brother to work on my parents to get a car somehow.
Message edited 2/15/2016 11:49:14 AM.
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| Posted 2/15/16 9:37 AM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Siblings that take from older parents
Honestly as painful as it is to watch there is nothing you can do about it. Have you spoken to the sibling that has been accepting their money? Is their need real and valid? You may have to step back, accept its their choice and get your relationship back on track with them. I know its hard to sit there and say nothing but you are hurting yourself in the long run by alienating your parents.
Some people have different values than others. I would never ask my parents for money, never ever ever but everyones values are different.
I would call your parents up and get back on speaking terms with them.
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| Posted 2/15/16 9:38 AM |
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Sunny10
LIF Adult
Member since 10/10 1287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Siblings that take from older parents
Posted by beachgirl
Honestly as painful as it is to watch there is nothing you can do about it. Have you spoken to the sibling that has been accepting their money? Is their need real and valid? You may have to step back, accept its their choice and get your relationship back on track with them. I know its hard to sit there and say nothing but you are hurting yourself in the long run by alienating your parents.
Some people have different values than others. I would never ask my parents for money, never ever ever but everyones values are different.
I would call your parents up and get back on speaking terms with them.
I haven't spoken to my sibling about this but he did make a comment to them, "I hope my sister isn't going to be mad about the money." I didn't understand at the time but I now know it is because they bought car for him. So he knew I would feel this way because this has been going on for many years now. Now that he has some of his own steady money, it concerns me it is still going on.
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| Posted 2/15/16 9:41 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Siblings that take from older parents
My SIL and her husband do and it drives my DH nuts. He thinks they are taking advantage and in the end he will be the one's helping his parents out because they spent all of their savings on her. In this case, they did hit a rough patch due to some idiotic decisions but since then they really haven't tried to fix their situation.
Message edited 2/15/2016 10:02:59 AM.
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| Posted 2/15/16 10:00 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Siblings that take from older parents
If your parents have their faculties, and have the money, I don't think there is anything you can really do. But it is natural to feel jealous in this situation.
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| Posted 2/15/16 10:22 AM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Siblings that take from older parents
DH deals with this. The siblings are adult children. They need to constantly be picked up, coddled, and supported. It is ridiculous and has caused a lot of issues because it's not just financial it is about right & wrong with their actions. He has learned to keep his mouth shut and let his parents do what they want. His parents are enablers, so it is what it is and he can't let it affect him anymore.
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| Posted 2/15/16 12:03 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: Siblings that take from older parents
Many families have one of those. The parents shell out $ for that kid only. All I can say is they raised the kid to expect these things, it's best for you to let it go and say nothing about it 
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| Posted 2/15/16 1:03 PM |
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Rosie0613
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/10 875 total posts
Name:
Rosie
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Re: Siblings that take from older parents
Yes we have that too. BIL and SIL are constantly getting themselves into trouble and need to be bailed out.
I feel as though my in-laws are too open with their income and expenses. DH has told them over and over to not say anything about what everyone has coming to them and let them think there isn't any money.
I told DH that I don't want our kids knowing anything about what we have ever and he agrees. They need to be brought up modestly even though we make a decent living.
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| Posted 2/15/16 5:56 PM |
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MrsMick
Baby #2 debuts in March 2016!
Member since 9/09 1977 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Siblings that take from older parents
DH has a sister like this. She has manipulated his Parents into changing the will, turning his Parents against him. DH put his foot down and said if his Mother didn't change it back, the grandkids would not be a part of their lives. His sister has no children, pushing 40 and won't have any children with her much older spouse. It's sad that he had to use our daughter as leverage but he knew it was the only way. They changed it FAST and gave him a copy. Still some things in there that are effed up but honestly, he doesn't want anything- they don't have much anyways- it was just the idea that they would screw him over. So it's in the back of his mind now and he is not as close with them as he once was.
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| Posted 2/16/16 8:55 AM |
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