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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Shower Question.....
My friends have asked me to give them a list of who we'd like to have at our shower..so I provided a list. DH and I decided we'd like to have both male & female there because it is his child as well. Now granted..the list has 110 people on it..but that is because it is a shower for both men/women/kids. I included the husbands/wives/kids of everyone (which would seem fair to do) since we didn't want it to only be a female thing...and now they are complaining. I know 110 people are NOT going to show..but my question is why bother asking me???
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Posted 4/10/07 2:15 PM  |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Shower Question.....
where will it be held? If its being paid for at a restuarant etc, I would never expect friends to pay for that many people...Thats a few thousand dollars....
If you want male/female...Then I would say you have to cut it down to more immediate people, then everyone...
Also, we invited 70 people and we had like 54 I think...so thats not a huge amount of no shows....
When are you due?
Can you have like a huge BBQ in a park or something? Where they dont have to pay per person?
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:22 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
110 is a lot of people. And honestly, if you are going to have couples, then maybe don't invite kids....my mom only invited women and female children. Personally, the men in my life would rather jump off a cliff then go to a baby shower.
Also, my shower is being held at my cousin's house, and for family there is a "man event" being held at the same time. DH, my dad, my uncle and my cousin's DH, my other cousin's bf and my little cousin and BIL are all going to Dave and Buster's. Maybe the men can do something like that?
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:27 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by KateDevine
110 is a lot of people. And honestly, if you are going to have couples, then maybe don't invite kids....my mom only invited women and female children. Personally, the men in my life would rather jump off a cliff then go to a baby shower.
Also, my shower is being held at my cousin's house, and for family there is a "man event" being held at the same time. DH, my dad, my uncle and my cousin's DH, my other cousin's bf and my little cousin and BIL are all going to Dave and Buster's. Maybe the men can do something like that?
I know it's alot of people..and honestly DH is the main person running this..so a majority of the $$ will come from him. I'm almost positive that out of that 50 will show at the most. The problem with this family is that you send an invite..and they get upset if their kids can't come...we experienced this at the wedding. I'm sure alot of the men won't come...that I know..but I included them just for sake of argument.
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:29 PM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Thats why you're better off just making it a female shower only...it eliminates A LOT of problems.
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:31 PM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: Shower Question.....
I can understand the idea of having DH and other men there -
but I just had my shower and there were 40 women there and I felt overwhelmed trying to say hello to everyone and really have a moment with each person and truly thank them for coming. We originally thought we'd have 25 people and many more people said yes than we thought.
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:36 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Shower Question.....
If your DH is paying for most of it, what are your friends complaining about? I assumed they were complaining about the cost?
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:42 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
We are having Men & Women..We dont get together very often and my in-laws will be coming from out of state..so we are making it a Baby Shower/BBQ
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:44 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Thanks ladies..i'm gonna go home and let him know this....
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:44 PM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Shower Question.....
whoa! 110! I think just to be reasonable you need to limit it women, no children (? why) or men.
Message edited 4/10/2007 2:54:59 PM.
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| Posted 4/10/07 2:54 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
I honestly don't know...but I'm assuming because it's hard to find a location for it. At this point..I'm just going to try and cut the list down as much as I can..but honestly most of the list are our family/friends so it's NOT going to be easy.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:04 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Shower Question.....
I never heard of 110 people for a baby shower.
I went to showers with 40 or so people and that was a lot. Kids were never present unless they were toddler/infant and the mom brought them along.
Most guys (other than DH) or kids would be bored to death seeing you opening all the presents with the oohhhh aaah from all the women. IMO
I would do a BBQ for that many people.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:05 PM |
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Jenhos
Maeve
Member since 6/05 3273 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
My husband would rather host the men at our house to watch a game then come to a shower.
110 people really is a lot of people. I had about 40 women at mine and it was overwhelming.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:18 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by smdl
I never heard of 110 people for a baby shower.
I went to showers with 40 or so people and that was a lot. Kids were never present unless they were toddler/infant and the mom brought them along.
Most guys (other than DH) or kids would be bored to death seeing you opening all the presents with the oohhhh aaah from all the women. IMO
I would do a BBQ for that many people.
That's part of the problem..most of the kids are todldlers/infant and some have more than 1.
In any event..I'm going to re-do the list. But this is our family/friends...so I'm not sure what the fuss is about especially since DH is the one taking on MOST of the cost. I am due in August and if it needs to be in a park..so be it. I personally think it would be more enjoyable that way. Yes it's 110 people..but ....I know for a fact that they all will not come.
Message edited 4/10/2007 3:34:00 PM.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:32 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by mitabtrfly
In any event..I'm going to re-do the list. But this is our family/friends...so I'm not sure what the fuss is about. yes it's 110 people..but ....I know for a fact that they all will not come.
Well, WHY won't they come? Because they have to travel? Maybe eliminate those people first? My family is BIG on not inviting people who they KNOW won't come, it looks like you are just looking for a gift, imho.
If people get huffy, then just explain to them that you were only trying to be courteous because you knew they couldn't make the trip for xyz reason.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:36 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
this something I found online...
Many men are entering the realm of baby showers these days. The Couples shower is an appropriate way to celebrate a new baby. While this is a new tradition many men are enjoying these get togethers, as are women.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:36 PM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Shower Question.....
I don't think you can be angry at your friend though for being thrown off by the list. 110 is a huge number to manage in invites and so forth. And you'll proly have at least 80 there, which is wedding size IMO.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:37 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Shower Question.....
We sent out 117 invites - to women only - and our final number is 94. I don't know if that helps at all.
I can't imagine if your DH is paying why they would care about how many people are invited.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:37 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by mitabtrfly
In any event..I'm going to re-do the list. But this is our family/friends...so I'm not sure what the fuss is about. yes it's 110 people..but ....I know for a fact that they all will not come.
Well, WHY won't they come? Because they have to travel? Maybe eliminate those people first? My family is BIG on not inviting people who they KNOW won't come, it looks like you are just looking for a gift, imho.
If people get huffy, then just explain to them that you were only trying to be courteous because you knew they couldn't make the trip for xyz reason.
Thanks for your input..but no we are not looking for a gift. FYI we are purchasing alot of the BIG stuff on our own..and I don't think it's fair to make a judgement like that w/out knowing. We were only TRYING to include those we love...and not reap the benefits of a gift.
The reason I said MOST wont' come is because SOME are from out of town...ie: DH's parents, sisters.
I appreciate everyone's input and will make this call on my own.
Message edited 4/10/2007 3:40:08 PM.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:38 PM |
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Eleanor
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 2223 total posts
Name:
Ellie
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Re: Shower Question.....
Maybe your friends don't realize that DH is going to be paying for the majority?
I would have DH talk to them and explain the finances and ask if he should find the place and have them just do the invites, favors, events and decroations.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:40 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by mitabtrfly
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by mitabtrfly
In any event..I'm going to re-do the list. But this is our family/friends...so I'm not sure what the fuss is about. yes it's 110 people..but ....I know for a fact that they all will not come.
Well, WHY won't they come? Because they have to travel? Maybe eliminate those people first? My family is BIG on not inviting people who they KNOW won't come, it looks like you are just looking for a gift, imho.
If people get huffy, then just explain to them that you were only trying to be courteous because you knew they couldn't make the trip for xyz reason.
Thanks for your input..but no we are not looking for a gift. FYI we are purchasing alot of the BIG stuff on our own..and I don't think it's fair to make a judgement like that w/out knowing. We were only TRYING to include those we love...and not reap the benefits of a gift.
The reason I said MOST wont' come is because SOME are from out of town...ie: DH's parents, sisters.
I appreciate everyone's input and will make this call on my own.
I didn't say YOU were, I said that sometimes it is SEEN as that way. My SIL lives in Baltimore, NO ONE in the family lives there and keeps finding it insulting that she invites them to the opening of a door so she can get gifts.
As, I said, I don't think that YOU are, but people can see it that way.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:47 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by Eleanor
Maybe your friends don't realize that DH is going to be paying for the majority?
I would have DH talk to them and explain the finances and ask if he should find the place and have them just do the invites, favors, events and decroations.
I did tell them...but i'm just going to go home and talk this over with him..because the LAST thing I want is people thinking the way others do..that we are just being greedy. It's more about my DH than me..honestly. This is his first child...(not mine) and OUR first child together..so it is a big deal to the both of us..and we wanted to share it with everyone without excluding anyone. However, seems it may be impossible to do..so we'll just re-do the list.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:49 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by mitabtrfly
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by mitabtrfly
In any event..I'm going to re-do the list. But this is our family/friends...so I'm not sure what the fuss is about. yes it's 110 people..but ....I know for a fact that they all will not come.
Well, WHY won't they come? Because they have to travel? Maybe eliminate those people first? My family is BIG on not inviting people who they KNOW won't come, it looks like you are just looking for a gift, imho.
If people get huffy, then just explain to them that you were only trying to be courteous because you knew they couldn't make the trip for xyz reason.
Thanks for your input..but no we are not looking for a gift. FYI we are purchasing alot of the BIG stuff on our own..and I don't think it's fair to make a judgement like that w/out knowing. We were only TRYING to include those we love...and not reap the benefits of a gift.
The reason I said MOST wont' come is because SOME are from out of town...ie: DH's parents, sisters.
I appreciate everyone's input and will make this call on my own.
I didn't say YOU were, I said that sometimes it is SEEN as that way. My SIL lives in Baltimore, NO ONE in the family lives there and keeps finding it insulting that she invites them to the opening of a door so she can get gifts.
As, I said, I don't think that YOU are, but people can see it that way.
The problem with our family is that people have already expressed how they feel "left out" of the pregnancy when they live in Florida...so to shut them up..I'm inviting them, and if they can make it..fine..if not..it's not a big deal. Just wanted to be sure I covered all bases..because I don't want to hear it later.
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:50 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Shower Question.....
Posted by mitabtrfly
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by mitabtrfly
In any event..I'm going to re-do the list. But this is our family/friends...so I'm not sure what the fuss is about. yes it's 110 people..but ....I know for a fact that they all will not come.
Well, WHY won't they come? Because they have to travel? Maybe eliminate those people first? My family is BIG on not inviting people who they KNOW won't come, it looks like you are just looking for a gift, imho.
If people get huffy, then just explain to them that you were only trying to be courteous because you knew they couldn't make the trip for xyz reason.
Thanks for your input..but no we are not looking for a gift. FYI we are purchasing alot of the BIG stuff on our own..and I don't think it's fair to make a judgement like that w/out knowing. We were only TRYING to include those we love...and not reap the benefits of a gift.
The reason I said MOST wont' come is because SOME are from out of town...ie: DH's parents, sisters.
I appreciate everyone's input and will make this call on my own.
I am confused. You said it was a shower. A shower means you bring a gift! 
Otherwise, it's called a gathering, a BBQ, etc...
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| Posted 4/10/07 3:59 PM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Shower Question.....
Honestly we went to a male/female baby shower and the men hated it!! Unless you are doing something different, like a casual bbq I would think the guys won't enjoy it. They are not going to be interested in a sitdown meal at a restaurant where you open all baby gifts. GOOD LUCK!
Just my opinion from my experiences.
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| Posted 4/10/07 4:27 PM |
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