You must first be logged in to post a new topic.
If you are not registered, please click "Create Account".
| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I just sent out an evite for my son's birthday party and left out my friend's son. I feel bad as we invited most of the other people in our friend circle. Thing is her child and my child do not get along. The kid is very rough and is always hitting and making other kids cry. At a recent holiday party at our friend's house, the kid was out of control. My child specifically said that he does not want this kid to come to h is birthday party.
Would you invite the family anyways?
I'm afraid my friend will feel bad since we are inviting many of our mutual friends. My child isn't necessarily super close with our other family friends but has no problems with them.
|
Posted 2/8/17 5:37 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Yes I would unless you are prepared not to be friends anymore
Message edited 2/8/2017 6:57:14 PM.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 6:56 PM |
| |
|
Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Posted by StarsStripes
Yes I would unless you are prepared not to be friends anymore
Unfortunately I agree.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 8:35 PM |
| |
|
MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Yes, if is a big enough group hopefully he won't be too much trouble.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 8:46 PM |
| |
|
alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Would definitely invite and intervene if he starts getting out of control.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 9:02 PM |
| |
|
nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I'd invite only classmates and or only friends' kids.
But not some and not others.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 9:06 PM |
| |
|
drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
No I don't think you have to. You don't want this kid ruining the party, from what you said he sounds like a major troublemaker. It's your son's party & he doesn't want the kid there.... If they're not close I don't think you have to invite out of obligation. Is your friend going to know about the party? Her kid may not care but the only thing is your friend will get her feelings hurt probably. It's a tough call.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 9:22 PM |
| |
|
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I would have only invited school friends, and friends he made independently, not your friends kids so that you could say to your friend this is a school kid party. I feel like if this gets back to your friend, it will end the friendship.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 9:25 PM |
| |
|
petvet
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1238 total posts
Name:
Meredith
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
If you want to continue the friendship I would invite the friend's kid but speak to the friend if he is acting out during the party. If the friendship/relationship is not a big loss on your part I guess then it doesn't really matter
|
| Posted 2/8/17 10:16 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
No. It's your DC's party and he specifically asked to not invite this friend.
Just be prepared to explain to your friend why if she asks.
|
| Posted 2/8/17 10:52 PM |
| |
|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Ofcourse this is your friend
If it was a friend in school and you weren't inviting the whole class than yes DC can choose but you should invite your friend and her child. Unless you don't care about being friends with her
|
| Posted 2/9/17 12:42 AM |
| |
|
NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I always err on the side of over including. Unless you're ready for your friend to be upset with you, I'd invite the child. It's a good learning experience for your son, too. Sometimes you have to learn to get along with people that you don't always like. Plus, I'm sure it'll be a big party and he won't be 1:1 with this boy. And his mom should be there to ensure he doesn't harm anyone else.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 8:20 AM |
| |
|
Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Posted by NYCGirl80
I always err on the side of over including. Unless you're ready for your friend to be upset with you, I'd invite the child. It's a good learning experience for your son, too. Sometimes you have to learn to get along with people that you don't always like. Plus, I'm sure it'll be a big party and he won't be 1:1 with this boy. And his mom should be there to ensure he doesn't harm anyone else.
DS is turning 6 and friend's child is also in kindergarten. Every single time we see this kid, the kid has hurt my child in one way or another.
What we all don't understand is why the parents don't intervene. They will watch their child strike another child and say absolutely nothing. Other parents step in but the child's parents do not.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 9:05 AM |
| |
|
WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by NYCGirl80
I always err on the side of over including. Unless you're ready for your friend to be upset with you, I'd invite the child. It's a good learning experience for your son, too. Sometimes you have to learn to get along with people that you don't always like. Plus, I'm sure it'll be a big party and he won't be 1:1 with this boy. And his mom should be there to ensure he doesn't harm anyone else.
DS is turning 6 and friend's child is also in kindergarten. Every single time we see this kid, the kid has hurt my child in one way or another.
What we all don't understand is why the parents don't intervene. They will watch their child strike another child and say absolutely nothing. Other parents step in but the child's parents do not.
I would not or if you do talk your friend beforehand about the behavior. No child should be constantly hurting another child.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 10:32 AM |
| |
|
Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I think you should invite the friends son. I would. I agree with others that if you are inviting all of your mutual friends and exclude them that is a friendship breaker. If you are only inviting SOME mutual friends then you can probably get away with not inviting.
I understand the child is a "problem" however I think this then extends beyond just a bday party-- will you exclude the child from other get togetehrs with your friends as well? IMO you either need to be prepared to cut this family out of your life, talk to the parent about the issues which may result in cutting them out of your life anyway, or grin and bear it. JMHO
|
| Posted 2/9/17 10:45 AM |
| |
|
iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by NYCGirl80
I always err on the side of over including. Unless you're ready for your friend to be upset with you, I'd invite the child. It's a good learning experience for your son, too. Sometimes you have to learn to get along with people that you don't always like. Plus, I'm sure it'll be a big party and he won't be 1:1 with this boy. And his mom should be there to ensure he doesn't harm anyone else.
DS is turning 6 and friend's child is also in kindergarten. Every single time we see this kid, the kid has hurt my child in one way or another.
What we all don't understand is why the parents don't intervene. They will watch their child strike another child and say absolutely nothing. Other parents step in but the child's parents do not.
In this case I would not invite the child.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 10:55 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
If your friend isn't trying to control her child when he is being mean to your kid I am not sure what kind of friend this is. I understand kids act out sometimes no matter how much the parent intervenes but if she isn't trying then she is disrespecting you and your child and I would not value the friendship. I would respect your sons wishes and not invite someone that is a bully to him and other kids.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 11:09 AM |
| |
|
MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
No I wouldn't invite... and I've done just that in the past... why should I make my child feel uncomfortable at his/her own party just to spare the feelings of another... I don't think so. I've had a parent actually contact me about it and it blew my mind... the nerve...
|
| Posted 2/9/17 11:33 AM |
| |
|
Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I'd normally say yes, invite. Now that you said the child hurts others and the parents don't discipline him, I don't think it's necessary. I don't even know that I'd care to continue a friendship with someone like this. So I'd personally not invite and not be upset if the friendship ended.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 11:58 AM |
| |
|
Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
If you don't invite them, I'd be prepared to lose the friendship. Do you care? If not, leave him out.
If you do want to continue the relationship, I would invite but could you talk to the mom before the party about how much her son's behavior upsets your child? I know that could be touchy, so if not, I would just watch the kid like a hawk and intervene if he acts out at the party. I would tell the mom on the spot "not sure if you were able to see, but your kid just hit so-and-so" putting on the expectation that she will address it. Or maybe you could ask the mom to "help you out" by supervising the kids with you. I have asked my friends to help out during my kids' parties.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 12:27 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I wanted to say I am in the same situation. My good friend had her son a few months after I had my daughter. From the time they were just walking there has always been an issue of him hurting her and being way too rough with her. Fortunately my friend always yells at him and corrects him but its been going on for so many years now and my daughter and I are just done with the abuse. The last time we went over for a playdate she left very sad and said she always gets hurt and doesn't enjoy going to that house anymore. I refuse to subject her to it any longer. Hopefully my friend understands but if not oh well. My kid comes before my friendship.
Message edited 2/9/2017 1:06:38 PM.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 1:05 PM |
| |
|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Im still on the side that if its really your friend then she should be invited. If my child was getting hurt from my kid I would be an advocate for my child. I just cant see myself cutting myself off because a friend or family member has a difficult child.
But I also have no problem with putting someones kid in their place if their parent isnt doing anything or telling my kid to stay away from so and so. I also think it teaches my child how to defend himself or approach different situations.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 2:06 PM |
| |
|
NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by NYCGirl80
I always err on the side of over including. Unless you're ready for your friend to be upset with you, I'd invite the child. It's a good learning experience for your son, too. Sometimes you have to learn to get along with people that you don't always like. Plus, I'm sure it'll be a big party and he won't be 1:1 with this boy. And his mom should be there to ensure he doesn't harm anyone else.
DS is turning 6 and friend's child is also in kindergarten. Every single time we see this kid, the kid has hurt my child in one way or another.
What we all don't understand is why the parents don't intervene. They will watch their child strike another child and say absolutely nothing. Other parents step in but the child's parents do not.
If my child was injured from one of his friends, I would be on them like a hawk. If the other mother doesn't intervene, then I would intervene and protect my child. It sounds like this happens very often, so I actually would question why you keep putting your son in this child's way, if he's so violent.
And then I would explain to the mom that you cannot let your children play together because he gets injured so often. But be prepared for that friendship to get hurt.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 2:31 PM |
| |
|
summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
|
Re: Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I'd say no. I don't understand parents like this. They are ensuring that their kid ends up an outsider.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 4:00 PM |
| |
|
FranM
And so it goes....
Member since 9/05 2217 total posts
Name:
|
Should I make my kid invite my friend's son?
I would not invite the child. If I invited a child my son specifically said he didn't want at his party and the child did something to ruin the party for my son I would feel terrible. It's your sons special day he and you shouldn't have to worry about this child acting out.
If the parents get upset so be it it might make them realize they need to help their child control himself and play appropriately.
Message edited 2/9/2017 4:42:24 PM.
|
| Posted 2/9/17 4:41 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
