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MrsP
LIF Infant

Member since 2/11 303 total posts
Name:
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Sharing name choices
I told my cousin yesterday that we weren't going to tell people what names we were thinking of giving our baby. She said it was rude to tell people that. She said you can't just say, "We're not sharing that with people." She said it's better to just tell people that we don't know yet. My mom agreed with her.
What do you think I should tell people if they ask about names? I really want to avoid the drama of people giving us their opinions.
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Posted 4/26/11 8:32 AM |
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Long Island Weddings
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Ayne11
Yep

Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
You do you!
This has been my mantra during this whole journey. I never in my wildest dreams would ever think the grossly expressed opinions of people would be the same as when I was planning my wedding.
If you don't want to share the name, it's your choice. It's not like you were setting them up to BEG YOU to tell them the name or to use it as a tool to get attention. Now that is rude.
I don't know if there is a proper way to tell people you don't wish to share the name. If you tell them you haven't decided then the follow up question is going to be "Well what names are you thinking?" So it's a pick your poison kind of situation.
I think what you said is fine, but I'm pregnant too so I can relate.
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Posted 4/26/11 8:40 AM |
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ODonnell
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Member since 9/05 5983 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
I always thought that I would have no problem letting people know the names we are thinking about but for some reason I'm very possessive of them. I have been telling people that we like quite a few and are taking our times deciding because it's a life-long decision!
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Posted 4/26/11 8:43 AM |
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Tiggeruth
I am a mom :-)
Member since 6/06 3433 total posts
Name: Heidi
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Re: Sharing name choices
although we are pretty sure on a name we've been saying "we've gotten it narrowed down to our top three choices and we'll decide when we meet her"
I kinda agree that its better to say you are undecided than a we're not telling but that's just me. some how people take offense to the not telling thing and i feel with all the other misc crap we deal with why add to it with this so i tell a little lie that we dont know yet
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Posted 4/26/11 8:44 AM |
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Melissa1013
My sweet boy

Member since 1/08 1933 total posts
Name: Melissa
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Re: Sharing name choices
I had no problem telling people we're keeping the names a surprise. People would sometimes ask for a hint or the first letter but after that they stopped asking.
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Posted 4/26/11 8:45 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name: LB
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Re: Sharing name choices
That is ridiculous. This is your choice (to not tell people the names) and there is nothing wrong with that. No reason for you to lie, IMO.
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Posted 4/26/11 8:46 AM |
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kelkel09
Love my twins!!!
Member since 6/10 5183 total posts
Name: K
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Re: Sharing name choices
a few people have already asked me if we have thought of names. My response has been yes, we have some names picked out but we aren't telling people. Honestly, I don't care if people think that is rude. It is our choice whether we want to tell people or not.
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Posted 4/26/11 8:51 AM |
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carlowlou
loving my babies!

Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name: Jen
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Re: Sharing name choices
With both this pregnancy and my first one, we didnt tell names to anyone and I told everyone that asked that we werent sharing. I never considered that was rude. and nobody told me it was rude. I think its kind of accepted to keep it to yourself.
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Posted 4/26/11 9:00 AM |
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julesrbf
Baby Girl
Member since 6/09 3882 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
I'm still telling people we aren't sharing the name yet. No one would believe that at 37w3d, DH and I haven't picked out the name - we are insane planners.
Honestly, I don't care if it's rude. It's no one else's business. I just tell people we're not sharing because we want to surprise everyone. If they're unhappy with that then that's their problem. I'm over trying to please everyone else with MY pregnancy.
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Posted 4/26/11 9:21 AM |
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Jenny614
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11 1065 total posts
Name: Jen
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Re: Sharing name choices
Why is it that all of a sudden, because we are pregnant, we now "owe" people! Why do we HAVE to do anything? Ugh...
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Posted 4/26/11 9:26 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name: DiamondMama
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Re: Sharing name choices
Personally it annoys me bc I LOVE to talk names but seriously, it is totally up to you and I see why people do that. The looks & comments we get when we tell people we like Darren for a boy are enough to make you cry!
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Posted 4/26/11 9:27 AM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time

Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Sharing name choices
Well if that's the case, consider me rude as well. Everyone keeps trying to get the names out of us. We just tell them they will find out the day is born.
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Posted 4/26/11 9:40 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky

Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name: Mama Cranky
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Re: Sharing name choices
Posted by DiamondGirl
Personally it annoys me bc I LOVE to talk names but seriously, it is totally up to you and I see why people do that. The looks & comments we get when we tell people we like Darren for a boy are enough to make you cry!
I agree-I love talking about names and it bugs me when people won't spill it but I wouldn't call it rude-it's your call.
We shared with our first 2 and some people did dump on on the names (Claire and Owen) but it didn't bother me at all because I love the names.
I figure people who don't love my kids names just have bad taste
If we can come up with names for this one we will share.
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Posted 4/26/11 10:05 AM |
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LotsaLuv
Us

Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name: F
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Re: Sharing name choices
I always say it's a secret till the baby is born, but we haven't even decided because we want to see what she looks like. Sometimes I will throw in that people are too open with their opinions sometimes and we rather not know if they don't like the names we are considering lol
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Posted 4/26/11 10:11 AM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
People are going to give you drama no matter what. Do whatever makes you happy. One of my mom's cousins found out they were having a and said they weren't going to tell anyone the name because they wanted to keep some type of surprise. I thought that was a great idea (I didn't have the opportunity because my husband comes from a long line of Edwards, so everyone pretty much knew our name choice when we found out we were having a ).
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Posted 4/26/11 10:12 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
I think it's the way you say it.
My BF was so obnoxious about it to anyone who asked - saying "We are not telling. We do not need YOUR opinion on what we name our kid" blah blah blah - that it was totally annoying. I actually guessed the baby's name and I was right and that totally ticked her off. Especially because she didn't let on that I was right and I just referred to the baby as that name all the time just to bust chops. LOL She told me after he was born that she hated that I guessed his name and kept calling him that (even though I really had no idea - she was team green too).
My other friend, on the other hand, said "We want something to be a surprise so the name it is!" And that was that.
Even though my BF was being honest, the "it's a surprise" is way less offensive to others.
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Posted 4/26/11 11:01 AM |
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whoababy11
it's only forever

Member since 11/10 1598 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
ya know, its very hard for me to say to people "we dont know" or "we're not telling." and it really shouldnt be, because none of us owe it to anyone to disclose our name choice. i have told people the name we're set on, and while the reviews are mostly positive, ive gotten quite a few annoying comments too which have really irritated me. i think for me, it's a live and learn type thing and i know for the next one im going to have to think of something i can say to put people off.
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Posted 4/26/11 11:21 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name: MJ
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Re: Sharing name choices
Your cousin can s*ck it.
DH and I have no intention of discussing names with family & friends. Why? Because I read how farking rude people are about name choices. I don't need someone to say "oh THAT's the name you are considering? I hate that name."
Well then you can have a kid and name one whatever you want. It's none of your damn business what I name my kid.
It's not rude to say "we aren't really discussing it" because too often when you DO discuss it, people stick their foot in their mouth and say the wrong thing!
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Posted 4/26/11 11:21 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)

Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name: Jib
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Re: Sharing name choices
I see nothing wrong with saying we are waiting till the baby is born to share the name we chose. That doesn't sound rude to me at all!!
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Posted 4/26/11 11:24 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants

Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
Posted by headoverheels
That is ridiculous. This is your choice (to not tell people the names) and there is nothing wrong with that. No reason for you to lie, IMO.
Ditto we don't plan on sharing the name (once we pick it) with anyone really if someone doesn't like it.. then they can go have their own kid and name them
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Posted 4/26/11 11:32 AM |
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Re: Sharing name choices
Oh the ridicule we've endured for choosing our sons name has been so eye opening. I have never ever offered my opinions on anything bc I don't love to hear it but my oh my do people have sh*t to say to me! I'm so over it, I'll tell people everytime what we choose and when I hear their opinions I'll just keep to my standard remark... Not your baby...not your choice...so SHUT IT!
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Posted 4/26/11 11:49 AM |
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InShock2011
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/11 722 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sharing name choices
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Your cousin can s*ck it.
DH and I have no intention of discussing names with family & friends. Why? Because I read how farking rude people are about name choices. I don't need someone to say "oh THAT's the name you are considering? I hate that name."
Well then you can have a kid and name one whatever you want. It's none of your damn business what I name my kid.
It's not rude to say "we aren't really discussing it" because too often when you DO discuss it, people stick their foot in their mouth and say the wrong thing!
this is 100% us. I've heard people say the worst things about name choices. we don't plan to tell a sole until the babies are born. then at least people should avoid saying anything bad
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Posted 4/26/11 11:54 AM |
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Re: Sharing name choices
I dont think it is rude at all. Sometimes I just tell people who ask that we aren't sure yet because it is easier, but I definitely dont see anything wrong with saying that you aren't sharing. Your kid, your rules!
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Posted 4/26/11 12:06 PM |
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Jodee
I love my girls

Member since 11/08 1510 total posts
Name: Danielle
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Re: Sharing name choices
We didnt share with PG #1 and aren't this time around either.
I've caught some comments - mainly my Mom saying "oh is this a big secret too" just as we are not finding out the sex.
I personally don't think its rude - but who knows maybe it is.... and frankly I don't care, its our choice. If I wasn't so sensitvie to peoples comments I guess I would share - but I rather NOT deal with someone saying they don't like our choice.
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Posted 4/26/11 1:19 PM |
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Re: Sharing name choices
After the bashing I got from SIL on what I was going to name DS, I will not be sharing the names (most likely) with many, once we decide. I will tell people basically that I don't want to be swayed either way, so I'm not sharing. That is my honest reason. I'm nervous enough as it as naming another human being, I don't need anyone's opinions on it!!!
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Posted 4/26/11 1:30 PM |
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