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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Girls, i went on a date tonite for the first time in 2 years... It is bizarre to be out there again and honestly I wasnt exactly up for it but yet knew I needed to at least put myself out there--and get the first date over with it..
I actually had a nice time, sweet guy, nice looking good convo...yet the sparks werent exactly there..but Im just proud that I even took the first step out there..
so my question is this--we had tons in common but one thing that bothers me is --he is 27 yrs old and only works PT b/c he still lives at home..he has had this job for 5 years and "in the future" will be working FT but for now..its only PT..
anyways this bothers me..Im 25, have my own place work full time..
I want a guy who has lived on his own before..has his career somewhat settled...yet all the other nice qualities he does have...
i dont wanna be too picky yet I dont wanna settle...how do u kno what the line is between having outrageous expectations--and settling.. I dont want to say there r no nice guys out there--he was perfectly nice..respectful..and all that jazz but something that i kind of need, well he just doesnt have...
anyway can i applaud myself for going ona date at least... LOL 
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Posted 12/30/06 11:13 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
2Pisces
Life Coach
Member since 2/06 3337 total posts
Name:
Paige
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
yes you can....good for you. 
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:14 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Awwww... to you for getting out there! Dating is really hard.
Someone told me once to prioritize the top 5 characteristics you want in a partner...Then choose the top one to make sure you have.  I personally hold ambition and drive very high on the list, and I don't think I would be able to be with someone who sits on his butt all day. If he is in grad school or something that is different, but if he *just* works part time, I think I would have a hard time accepting that. The living at home I would be OK with, though I lived away from home since I was 13...On Long Island it seems most people live at home a while after college since housing is so expensive.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:17 PM |
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cj7305
=)
Member since 8/05 12296 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
 I applaud you for getting out there, this is the time to see exactly what you are looking for, test some guys out. Good luck!
Also, I can understand the living at home part. Unfortunatley the insane price of housing is causing many people to stay home longer. Is he at least saving? Planning for the future? That would be even more important to me.
Message edited 12/30/2006 11:19:47 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:17 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Good for you for getting back on the horse!! 
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:18 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Glad you had fun!
I think you have to withhold judgements based on just how facts look on paper.
From what you've said, this guy seems not so motivated, but maybe if you got to know him better, you'd se there was more to the story.
If he did turn out to be lazy, and that really bothers you, I wouldn't ignore it, b/c it would probably be an issue down the road.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:21 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Posted by tourist
Glad you had fun!
I think you have to withhold judgements based on just how facts look on paper.
From what you've said, this guy seems not so motivated, but maybe if you got to know him better, you'd se there was more to the story.
If he did turn out to be lazy, and that really bothers you, I wouldn't ignore it, b/c it would probably be an issue down the road.
I agree!!!
Glad you didn't hold yourself back!!!
i wouldn't overanalyze him too much right now- just have fun w/ his good qualities. but i agree w/ tourist- if you do start to get serious, Then, i'd evaluate where you both stand on those aspects.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:23 PM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
thanks girls, im definitly not looking to get serious with anyone for some time..
i definitly need "michi time" and just veg from the last situation but appreciate all the lol
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:25 PM |
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islandersgirl74
Love Being A Mommy!
Member since 6/06 5804 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Good for you in getting out there. Living at home wouldnt bother me, but I would have a problem with a guy just working part time.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:32 PM |
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peabody
Love green icing!!!
Member since 5/05 4691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Good for you!
Honestly, I think once you meet the right guy all of this won't matter. You will know he is the one and feel confident and at peace. This was my experience anyway.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:39 PM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Posted by peabody
Good for you!
Honestly, I think once you meet the right guy all of this won't matter. You will know he is the one and feel confident and at peace. This was my experience anyway.
ITA i hope ur right
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:49 PM |
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peabody
Love green icing!!!
Member since 5/05 4691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Posted by Michi
Posted by peabody
Good for you!
Honestly, I think once you meet the right guy all of this won't matter. You will know he is the one and feel confident and at peace. This was my experience anyway.
ITA i hope ur right
You will. I know it is hard and you are anxious to meet 'the one' and start this time in your life.
I remember being in college and thinking shouldn't I be meeting my future husband?? I didn't, and honestly I am so glad I didn't when I look back on my college years. I had such a great time with my friends.
Anyway, enough about me.
You will meet him and you will know.
I look forward to when I see a post from you the day you met him. It will happen.
You are a smart, pretty, fun, young woman and you deserve love. It will happen when you least expect it.
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| Posted 12/30/06 11:58 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Settling...yet getting what you want in life..
Congrats on getting back out there!!! I could never do the dating scene again - it was such a PITA!!! DEFINITELY be picky - you OWE that to yourself... and NO you're not being nitpicky with the fact that he's still living at home and working PT. You deserve the best for yourself!!!
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| Posted 12/31/06 12:03 AM |
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