scared of labor

I'm 32 weeks tomorrow and getting more and more scared of labor the closer I get. A friend of mine had a baby a few weeks ago and while I wanted all the details at the time, I wish I didn't know so much about how difficult and painful it was for her. I'm worried about the pain for sure, but I'm more worried about whether the baby and I are going to both be OK.

I have alot of anxiety about health related stuff to begin with, so now that this major event is getting closer, I'm getting more and more scared. I'm also terrified of the epidural and not being able to feel my legs and wonder whether I'll panic because of it.

Anyone else afraid? Any advice?

Message edited 12/21/2012 11:38:06 AM.

Re: scared of labor

this is #2 and I am beginning to feel the same way at 35w. I never went into labor with my son, not a single real contraction.

this baby is low and it looks like I could go on my own and sooner rather than later.

i just don't let myself think about it. just like I didn't with my csection with my son and I got through it no problems.

take everything literally minute by minute. let everyone walk and talk you through it. no reason to stress it, labor and/or delivery WILL happen one way or another. everyone gets through it and MOST go on to have at least one more

Re: scared of labor

I was scared with my 1st too, and I'll be honest, with each pregnancy, there is that level of anxiety hoping everything will go ok during labor. However, there is no way on earth I'd be giving birth for a third (really 4th) time if it was that horrible. Plus, nothing like an EPI to make pain and some stress go away.

While labor is hard work, the rewards of holding that baby in your arms is completely worth it. Our bodies are so unique that they make us forget the pain shortly after so that we'll do it again one day.

There is nothing to be worried about, your doctors and nurses do this everyday and walk you through each step.

Message edited 12/21/2012 11:40:23 AM.

Re: scared of labor

i am 33 weeks and also scared! i have heard peoples labor stories, some good, some bad...you never know what yours will be like until it is time. there is no way to prepare. i just keep thinking that in the end no matter how bad it is, having a little baby in my arms makes it worthwhile.

i also took a hospital tour and that really helped. although they do go over how long labor can be, seeing the facility and speaking with a nurse and seeing how much they want to help you and make sure you are comfortable really put me at ease....you should contact your hospital and go for a tour

Re: scared of labor

I look at it like it is what it is. There's no sugar coating it. What helped me through it and helps me to feel less scared/nervous this time is the fact that the baby WILL come out, one way or another. There IS an end to it. I'm doing it a second time so if it were really that awful I probably wouldn't be.

Try not to stress over it. Worrying won't change ANYTHING, although it can very easily stress you out and put a damper on your pregnancy.

Re: scared of labor

Re: scared of labor

Thank you! A little bit of reassurance goes a long way!!

scared of labor

I'm right behind you and will be 32 weeks on Monday... All along I have been told I was going to need a c-section and I was fine with that but because of where my monster fibroid ended up after my uterus did it's expanding they all of a sudden my doctor starting talking about vaginal delivery and I heard screetching break sounds in my head when the doctor said it. I was total ok with and prepared for a c-section... I am NOT at all prepared for a vaginal delivery and scared out of my mind... I am still hoping they let me do a c-section but if not I have been telling myself women do this every day... You're definitely not alone!!!!

scared of labor

I just had my DD on 12/8 and I was also TERRIFIED of labor. So much so that I literally did nothing to prepare for it; didn't take a single class or really listen to anything people told me. Just the thought of labor stressed me out so much that I took the mind set of "it will be what it will be" and just decided to let nature take it's course. It was the only way I could stay calm about the impending event. In the end, I had a ridiculously quick labor (under 3 hrs, start to finish with only about 15 minutes of pushing - no time for an epi), so I got really lucky, but I think had I been really stressed out about it, things could've gone much differently. As hard as it is, just try to stay calm, keep an open mind and realize that no matter what happens, you'll have a beautiful baby in your arms at the end! And it's really true what they say - I already have kind of forgotten how painful it was and DD is only 13 days old!

Re: scared of labor

I was you when pregnant with DD
I have such major medical anxiety that even getting pregnant was a fear of mine- and it took me a LONG time to do it for that reason.
The thought of doctors, hospitals, labor, forget it. It was enough to throw me into a full blown anxiety attack.
I remember as I was nearing the end, everyone was like oh you must be so ready for her to be born. And I wasn't. I would have kept her in for another 4 years to delay labor. I was terrified.
But when the day came, yes I was nervous, yes I was scared to death as we drove to the hosptial
But looking back it was NOT that bad.
I got my epi right away.
You can still feel your legs. For me it was more like they felt heavy. I could evn move them, they were just heavy.
And it kind of felt like novacaine at the dentist. Like I would poke my leg and not really feel it...I'd feel the pressure of the poke, but that was it.
One leg was more heavy than the other, but I could move my legs. So dont' worry there.
I will be honest and say that after that there was no pain until it was time to push.
That last hour was the worst part. The pushing and the crowing.
But it went fast.
And you get through it. And you forget all about it the second the baby is out.
Trust me- you are in good hands with your docs and nurses and you will get through it too.
If I could do it- anyone can
TRUST ME!

Re: scared of labor

Re: scared of labor

The closer it is getting I am starting to get nervous. I think I am nervous about my water breaking or if my water doesn't break how will I know what contractions feel like.
The other thing is my sister had 2 csections and I am hyoping so much I won't because she got so sick from the anesthesia and could not see my nieces for hours. Oh yeah..and the epidural!

Re: scared of labor

It hurts but its so worth it. Once its done its done and you can enjoy your little one. I wouldnt be doing it again if it was that horrible. Like another person said Epi's are GREAT! Hang in there.

Re: scared of labor

Just tell yourself that we live on long island and have access to some of the greatest healthcare in the world. Seriously, trust your doctor and hospital and it will all be good. At least that is what I keep telling myself. I am not reading anything. Everytime I do, I get scared. Plus, everyone's birth experience is so different. I know someone who gave birth in her car. The baby came that quick.

Re: scared of labor

Crashing... Im not goin to lie n say it was great bc it was very painful. I even said after im not goin through that again but the recovery was not bad n here i am trying for dc 2. So just go with the flow n by the way i never took any of those classes. The nurses n dr walk u through it. U will b fine !!

scared of labor

I had the same anxiety towards the end. I was induced and all I was hearing was horror stories of how long I would be in labor and how painful it was going to be. While it wasn't a walk in the park it wasn't anything I wouldn't do over again. Pushing him out was painful and remember the pain but the instant he was out it was over and I had the doctors and nurses actually pulling me open down there to get his head out, talk about f'in ouch, but the instant he was out it was over and recovery for me was super easy and I am so glad I went natural.

Re: scared of labor

I posted something similar when I was pregnant so I know how you feel! My labor was quick (under 5 hours) but intense and like nothing I ever imagined. I got an epi and highly recommend it!! Even though labor is painful, giving birth is the most amazing thing your body will ever do. You will be in awe of yourself!! I still can't believe I had a baby and DS is 3 months old.

Good luck! You have DH to help you through too - make sure he is by your side! You'll do great!!

scared of labor

I was petrified to give birth especially since this is my first DC. But the day came my water broke had no contractions I cried for two minutes because reality set in and then I was fine once I got to the hospital.

For me personally labor was traumatizing because I couldn't get an epi because my sciatica pain gave me numbness in my leg so I felt everything and couldn't get comfortable but I made it through 10 hours of labor.

Knowing that you will be holding your baby soon helps you forget all those fears. It's so surreal afterwards that when you look back on it you will be amazed at what you experienced.

Re: scared of labor

You forget the pain quickly once you are holding that little bundle of joy. I would go through it again just to hold DD for that first time. That was truly the most amazing thing I ever accomplished in my entire life! I didn't lose complete feeling with my epidural. I was always able to move my legs a little bit and I knew when I was having a contraction. I was so terrified of not having control!! But I felt quite happy with the amount of pain relief.

Re: scared of labor

Re: scared of labor

scared of labor

You are going to be fine! Honestly, I was so so scared with my first and getting nervous this time around, but you are going to be able to do it. The best piece of advice I got was listen to the nurses when you are pushing. You'd rather push hard for 20 minutes than push so so for 2 hrs. If they say you aren't pushing enough than find that little but of strength somewhere deep in you and push harder! I knew going in there that I was going to be in trouble if I had to push for too long because I am a TOTAL whimp and will just give up. I asked the nurses to really be clear and direct me and they did. I wound up pushing DD out in less than 20 minutes and she was 7.14 so a totally decent size. I also was a huge fan of the epidural. I am slightly curious to see if I can go without it this time, but it was really helpful for me last time. You can do it! If it helps any you totally forget about the pain in a few months anyways.

Re: scared of labor

Re: scared of labor

My advice is just keep your mind on the prize and just keep going. It will be over and you won't even believe all you've been through and how amazing it all is.

I've had two kids, the first birth very different than the second (neither with epi because I have a pg related condition that makes me ineligible) and I firmly believe trusting your body and not fighting with what is happening naturally is a huge help. Try practicing mediation and relaxation techniques to help with your anxiety. There's a wealth of info and tools out there. What helped me the second time (I learned a lot after my first) was just visualization and my DH massaging my back as I spent hours on a birthing ball. I kinda went in my own little world I was so focused. 30 min after he was born, I said I could totally do it all over again. The reward is that awesome.

scared of labor

I was really anxious about the birth, but I feel like I'm gonna have an easy birth so I'm no longer worrying about it. I feel like if I keep telling myself I'll be awesome, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy!