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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
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Posted 1/22/16 12:18 PM  |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Hofstra26
I never understand these threads because it always turns into a competition between who works harder, who has more stress, who has it easier. My two cents..............who cares???!! What does it matter to anyone what someone else's choices are? It's hard to be a working mom and it's also hard being a SAHM...........they might be hard in different ways but one doesn't trump the other. Nobody knows what it's like to be in someone else's shoes and nobody should have to feel like they need to justify how they spend their time throughout the day whether you're home with your kids or at work. We all make our choices, we all have our responsibilities, and we are all doing what we need to for our families. Just sayin'.
ETA - And I agree with everything MarissaK said too. Everyone's priorities are different as well which obviously has a direct impact on how your day is structured and how busy you are whether at work or home.
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:24 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
Agree and Like.
I also felt this thread didn't get bad and was actually civil.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:26 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
Again, not contributing to society? It comes off as rude. It is a contribution to your family to stay home, is working in an office really contributing to society? Only you can answer that.
Wanted to add, you can never go by Facebook , it's all for show!
Message edited 1/22/2016 12:38:15 PM.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:30 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
Agree and Like.
I also felt this thread didn't get bad and was actually civil.
I didn't either and wasn't trying to start a fight among working and stay at home moms.
Just wanted to know what others do as I feel like I haven't done much lol.
And like I said, it was actually a question from my dh that it would drive him nuts. --and no, he is not pushing me out to get a job lol--it is actually nice for us to have "couple time" since I am home and he gets home before the kids get home. lol
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:36 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
Agree and Like.
I also felt this thread didn't get bad and was actually civil.
I didn't either and wasn't trying to start a fight among working and stay at home moms.
Just wanted to know what others do as I feel like I haven't done much lol.
And like I said, it was actually a question from my dh that it would drive him nuts. --and no, he is not pushing me out to get a job lol--it is actually nice for us to have "couple time" since I am home and he gets home before the kids get home. lol
Just wondering , what time does your DH get home?
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:39 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
I'm going to be honest with you. Your perspective is not the same as the reality for a lot of stay at home moms. Your kids are in middle/high school and you have just become a SAHM and it's temporary. Almost all of the SAHM moms I know that have kids in school full time and have always been in SAHMs volunteer A LOT. We volunteer at the schools, we volunteer as Boy Scout/Girl scout leaders, we are part of charitable organizations and other organizations with in our community. We teach religion, etc, etc, etc. It's not to say that these things are "stressful" but they do add some work to fill up all that free time that you are just sitting on your ass doing nothing. I'm sure a lot of the mom's you sit back and bash are the mom's that have been a boy scout or girl scout leader to your kids, have been a CCD teacher for them, have cleaned up the school playground or organized events and activities at the school that your kids benefited from. Believe me, they are contributing to society way more than you think. YOUR society. benefiting your kids!
Maybe go to your local hospital and see if you can volunteer while you have all this free time on your hands. Although I don't think you are asking for suggestions at all. You're just trying to find a way to subtly bash moms that might have too much free time on their hands (from your perspective). It's definitely clear that you have way too much time on your hands because no one I know (on this forum or IRL) is even remotely as concerned with other people as you.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:40 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
Again, not contributing to society? It comes off as rude. It is a contribution to your family to stay home, is working in an office really contributing to society? Only you can answer that.
Wanted to add, you can never go by Facebook , it's all for show!
I said I am starting to feel like that because I am basically not doing anything worthwhile. I didn't say EVERYONE does not contribute, nor if you do.
You DO know that many times on this board, it is for show too, right? This IS the internet lololol.
I just liked that I got some real, genuine answers.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:40 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I don't feel that way at all. I make many contributions to society even though my kids are in school all day.
I've realized that most of the questions you ask don't really seem based on curiousity though. I think you post these questions so you give your own opinion on a situation 
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:40 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
Again, not contributing to society? It comes off as rude. It is a contribution to your family to stay home, is working in an office really contributing to society? Only you can answer that.
Thanks! I thought the same and was wondering if it was only me. 
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:41 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
Agree and Like.
I also felt this thread didn't get bad and was actually civil.
I didn't either and wasn't trying to start a fight among working and stay at home moms.
Just wanted to know what others do as I feel like I haven't done much lol.
And like I said, it was actually a question from my dh that it would drive him nuts. --and no, he is not pushing me out to get a job lol--it is actually nice for us to have "couple time" since I am home and he gets home before the kids get home. lol
Just wondering , what time does your DH get home?
Before the kids come home, why? lol
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:41 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
I'm going to be honest with you. Your perspective is not the same as the reality for a lot of stay at home moms. Your kids are in middle/high school and you have just become a SAHM and it's temporary. Almost all of the SAHM moms I know that have kids in school full time and have always been in SAHMs volunteer A LOT. We volunteer at the schools, we volunteer as Boy Scout/Girl scout leaders, we are part of charitable organizations and other organizations with in our community. We teach religion, etc, etc, etc. It's not to say that these things are "stressful" but they do add some work to fill up all that free time that you are just sitting on your ass doing nothing. I'm sure a lot of the mom's you sit back and bash are the mom's that have been a boy scout or girl scout leader to your kids, have been a CCD teacher for them, have cleaned up the school playground or organized events and activities at the school that your kids benefited from. Believe me, they are contributing to society way more than you think. YOUR society. benefiting your kids!
Maybe go to your local hospital and see if you can volunteer while you have all this free time on your hands. Although I don't think you are asking for suggestions at all. You're just trying to find a way to subtly bash moms that might have too much free time on their hands (from your perspective). It's definitely clear that you have way too much time on your hands because no one I know (on this forum or IRL) is even remotely as concerned with other people as you.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:41 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
I'm going to be honest with you. Your perspective is not the same as the reality for a lot of stay at home moms. Your kids are in middle/high school and you have just become a SAHM and it's temporary. Almost all of the SAHM moms I know that have kids in school full time and have always been in SAHMs volunteer A LOT. We volunteer at the schools, we volunteer as Boy Scout/Girl scout leaders, we are part of charitable organizations and other organizations with in our community. We teach religion, etc, etc, etc. It's not to say that these things are "stressful" but they do add some work to fill up all that free time that you are just sitting on your ass doing nothing. I'm sure a lot of the mom's you sit back and bash are the mom's that have been a boy scout or girl scout leader to your kids, have been a CCD teacher for them, have cleaned up the school playground or organized events and activities at the school that your kids benefited from. Believe me, they are contributing to society way more than you think. YOUR society. benefiting your kids!
Maybe go to your local hospital and see if you can volunteer while you have all this free time on your hands. Although I don't think you are asking for suggestions at all. You're just trying to find a way to subtly bash moms that might have too much free time on their hands (from your perspective). It's definitely clear that you have way too much time on your hands because no one I know (on this forum or IRL) is even remotely as concerned with other people as you.
My perspective is one of older kids, not ones that are in elementary school as if I was staying home for an extended period of time, I would have volunteered more in their school. (as a full time working mother I did volunteer as much as I could when I had days off or at night).
I was not looking for a fight, but simply seeing if this is normal to have so much free time and from speaking to the SAHM's with older kids, it is.
Right now my full time job is looking for a full time job. Otherwise, I WOULD be doing volunteer things. I always said that if I didn't have to work it would mainly be used to do things for the kids in school and volunteer opportunities.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:52 PM |
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mommyagain3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 144 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
I'm going to be honest with you. Your perspective is not the same as the reality for a lot of stay at home moms. Your kids are in middle/high school and you have just become a SAHM and it's temporary. Almost all of the SAHM moms I know that have kids in school full time and have always been in SAHMs volunteer A LOT. We volunteer at the schools, we volunteer as Boy Scout/Girl scout leaders, we are part of charitable organizations and other organizations with in our community. We teach religion, etc, etc, etc. It's not to say that these things are "stressful" but they do add some work to fill up all that free time that you are just sitting on your ass doing nothing. I'm sure a lot of the mom's you sit back and bash are the mom's that have been a boy scout or girl scout leader to your kids, have been a CCD teacher for them, have cleaned up the school playground or organized events and activities at the school that your kids benefited from. Believe me, they are contributing to society way more than you think. YOUR society. benefiting your kids!
Maybe go to your local hospital and see if you can volunteer while you have all this free time on your hands. Although I don't think you are asking for suggestions at all. You're just trying to find a way to subtly bash moms that might have too much free time on their hands (from your perspective). It's definitely clear that you have way too much time on your hands because no one I know (on this forum or IRL) is even remotely as concerned with other people as you.
Just as a FYI- I'm a PTWM and I do all those things and many of those that also volunteer their time with me are working moms. Either you are of the mindset to volunteer and give up your free time or you not - work notwithstanding
Message edited 1/22/2016 12:55:26 PM.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:53 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I don't feel that way at all. I make many contributions to society even though my kids are in school all day.
I've realized that most of the questions you ask don't really seem based on curiousity though. I think you post these questions so you give your own opinion on a situation
Oh well, sorry you feel that way. I see many others who stay home are doing the same things I have been. Just wondered if it was normal.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:58 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
I'm going to be honest with you. Your perspective is not the same as the reality for a lot of stay at home moms. Your kids are in middle/high school and you have just become a SAHM and it's temporary. Almost all of the SAHM moms I know that have kids in school full time and have always been in SAHMs volunteer A LOT. We volunteer at the schools, we volunteer as Boy Scout/Girl scout leaders, we are part of charitable organizations and other organizations with in our community. We teach religion, etc, etc, etc. It's not to say that these things are "stressful" but they do add some work to fill up all that free time that you are just sitting on your ass doing nothing. I'm sure a lot of the mom's you sit back and bash are the mom's that have been a boy scout or girl scout leader to your kids, have been a CCD teacher for them, have cleaned up the school playground or organized events and activities at the school that your kids benefited from. Believe me, they are contributing to society way more than you think. YOUR society. benefiting your kids!
Maybe go to your local hospital and see if you can volunteer while you have all this free time on your hands. Although I don't think you are asking for suggestions at all. You're just trying to find a way to subtly bash moms that might have too much free time on their hands (from your perspective). It's definitely clear that you have way too much time on your hands because no one I know (on this forum or IRL) is even remotely as concerned with other people as you.
Just as a FYI- I'm a PTWM and I do all those things and many of those that also volunteer their time with me are working moms. Either you are of the mindset to volunteer and give up your free time or you not - work notwithstanding
ITA as when I was a FTWM I volunteered. Right now my FT job is trying to find a FT job.
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| Posted 1/22/16 12:59 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is.
So anyone who says that they are doing anything other than relaxing at home is lying? (Oh, and by the way, the word 'claim' by definition suggests that it's without proof...so the quotation marks are redundant. But I digress...)
I'm glad I'm not alone is recognizing the overt (originally I thought it was subtle...ha!) shaming of SAHMs.
If you're concerned that you are feeling unproductive, perhaps consult your child's school or a local charity. As a middle school teacher (who has worked in a Jr./Sr. high school), I can assure you that there are plenty of daily opportunities for parent volunteers.
Message edited 1/22/2016 1:12:12 PM.
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:10 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
This thread is so ridiculous.
Everyone has different lives, priorities, goals, finances, etc, etc, etc.
Just enjoy your own life. I never ever understood the need to compare or act superior to another. As long as all of our kids are healthy and happy, isn't that all that matters?
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:12 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is.
So anyone who says that they are doing anything other than relaxing at home is lying? (Oh, and by the way, the word 'claim' by definition suggests that it's without proof...so the quotation marks are redundant. But I digress...)
I'm glad I'm not alone is recognizing the overt (originally I thought it was subtle...ha!) shaming of SAHMs.
If you're concerned that you are feeling unproductive, perhaps consult your child's school or a local charity. As a middle school teacher (who has worked in a Jr./Sr. high school), I can assure you that there are plenty of daily opportunities for parent volunteers.
No shaming. Just stating that it is much different having kids in full time school than it is being home with ones that are with you all day.
Please read my posts indicating that right now my ft job is to find a ft job.
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:13 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by JME78
This thread is so ridiculous.
Everyone has different lives, priorities, goals, finances, etc, etc, etc.
Just enjoy your own life. I never ever understood the need to compare or act superior to another. As long as all of our kids are healthy and happy, isn't that all that matters?
I agree. If you read my posts, I wasn't trying to do that. Just wondering what people who have older kids do with their 7 + hours a day.
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:15 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
I agree. If you read my posts, I wasn't trying to do that. Just wondering what people who have older kids do with their 7 + hours a day.
So you have ZERO undertones to your curiosity?
You're just innocently asking without your own preconceived notions?
That's where I take issue.
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:32 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
Agree and Like.
I also felt this thread didn't get bad and was actually civil.
I didn't either and wasn't trying to start a fight among working and stay at home moms.
Just wanted to know what others do as I feel like I haven't done much lol.
And like I said, it was actually a question from my dh that it would drive him nuts. --and no, he is not pushing me out to get a job lol--it is actually nice for us to have "couple time" since I am home and he gets home before the kids get home. lol
Just wondering , what time does your DH get home?
Before the kids come home, why? lol
This is a good example then , of how people are in different situations. When I did work, I was home at 7pm. My DH was home by 7:30 , IF he was not traveling. People ask me when I will return to work (valid question), but my kids would have 4 hours a day before we even get home. You have a DH that gets home before your kids even get home, it is a very very different situation that you can't compare.
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| Posted 1/22/16 1:32 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Smileyd17
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think many people are curious what it is like and if others are similar.
Many people who work are lazy. Many people who work are non stop.
Many people who stay home are lazy. Many people who stay home are non stop.
There is not ONE similar person and life but talking to others in your same situation, usually, for the most part have the same things going on in their lives and can relate.
That is why I LOVE talking to a few of my same friends every single day as while the 4 of us are a different, we also have so many same things in our lives, even if one of us is working full time, or part time, or staying home at any given time we understand.
I think humans are all curious at some time in their lives. It is just a way to grow in our own lives to see what else there is out there in this world for us to do that we might never have known. Or to get help from others regarding our families, friends, work, etc.
Agree and Like.
I also felt this thread didn't get bad and was actually civil.
I didn't either and wasn't trying to start a fight among working and stay at home moms.
Just wanted to know what others do as I feel like I haven't done much lol.
And like I said, it was actually a question from my dh that it would drive him nuts. --and no, he is not pushing me out to get a job lol--it is actually nice for us to have "couple time" since I am home and he gets home before the kids get home. lol
Just wondering , what time does your DH get home?
Before the kids come home, why? lol
This is a good example then , of how people are in different situations. When I did work, I was home at 7pm. My DH was home by 7:30 , IF he was not traveling. People ask me when I will return to work (valid question), but my kids would have 4 hours a day before we even get home. You have a DH that gets home before your kids even get home, it is a very very different situation that you can't compare.
Yes I agree but our work schedules have not always been this way since our kids were born and they won't stay the same either.
When my oldest was in MS, she was home 3 hours by herself before one of us came home.
Also when I say before the kids come on, many times they are not home until after 5 or 6. 
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| Posted 1/22/16 2:56 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Just for the record - I was not trying to employ that PTWMs or FTWMs don't volunteer. Just that clearly the OP is not currently volunteering, and that maybe she wouldn't be so worried about other people if she actually took up some volunteer work. Also, it sounds like it isn't really a full time job looking for a full time job if you still have so much time on your hands. Sounds more like less than a part time job. If it were a full time job, there'd be no need for the original post.
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| Posted 1/22/16 3:31 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Just for the record - I was not trying to employ that PTWMs or FTWMs don't volunteer. Just that clearly the OP is not currently volunteering, and that maybe she wouldn't be so worried about other people if she actually took up some volunteer work. Also, it sounds like it isn't really a full time job looking for a full time job if you still have so much time on your hands. Sounds more like less than a part time job. If it were a full time job, there'd be no need for the original post.
Checking out sites online and networking all day and night is considered full time to me.
I asked because I am home the majority of the week doing that. I don't like to let too much time go by not to look and apply and network.
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| Posted 1/22/16 3:41 PM |
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