SAHM's- question

do any sahm's have any routines or parenting techniques with their LO that DH does not agree with or have the same view on and then criticize/complain about when they are home? how do you work this out? DD naps in our bed, not in the crib during the week. DH is now upset saying she should always be sleeping in the crib and feels I am ruining her sleep patterns, even though this works best for me during the week. How do I resolve this?

Re: SAHM's- question

We agree on it all, well, because I'm the one home with them during the day, so, my rules!
LOL

I will be honest. I had DS napping in the PnP downstairs for a few months. I'd be doing the tip toeing, the keeping TV volume real low, etc.
My mom said "Put him in his crib upstairs. You have the monitor and you can make noise without worrying". It took me a while, but, I really wish I listened sooner!

Does your DC want to sleep in your bed at night as well? Is that what DH is getting upset about?

Re: SAHM's- question

Re: SAHM's- question

No I run the show and call most of the shots for DD with regards to her routine because I do it all week. He does speak up about things here or there...ie he asked why I run a fan outside her room now and doesn't want her to get used it it but I really need to muffle noise in the kitchen etc. also he asked why I don't nap her in the swing anymore but she is used to the crib and I want it that way for all her naps.

Anyway in reference to your situation - are you laying down with her for naps? I am no expert but I think you should try to break this habit of napping in your bed but that's just honest opinion. It is only going to get harder from here on out. Keep trying her in the crib every single day.

Re: SAHM's- question

I admit, I told my DH that I do NOT want him making up new arbitrary "rules" or routines that I'm stuck enforcing day in and day out.

When he's caring for the kids, I make a point to not interfere or micromanage. He often does things differently than I would do, but hey, we are not clones-- we each have our ideas and styles. HOWEVER, I do not appreciate him laying down laws that he won't be doing the dirty work of enforcing.

SAHM's- question

I have set the routines and schedule and I enforce the same things over the weekend. DS naps twice a day at the same time if its during the week or weekend. DH never says anything, he probably knows better lol. When it comes to our bed, DH was very strict about it. We were never in our parents bed as a kid and I agreed with him that we wanted it to be "our" space. DS doesn't even know our bed exists, he never comes in our room. If he gets sick, one of us sleeps on an air mattress next to his crib. I don't think anything is wrong with you establishing what works best for you. As SAHM's we are forced to live groundhog day over and over so you bet I would be doing what makes my life easiest :)

Re: SAHM's- question

Well, I have only been a Sahm for a month now. I guess the only thing is at night when the baby screams and dh wants to go out to do dinner, he tries to get me to give formula. It is more convenient to do so. I am putting my foot down to it. I only will allow it if I go out and daddy watches him.

Re: SAHM's- question

my son was the same way. he would cry and cry in the crib but as soon as i took him out and put him on my bed he would sleep. If I'm the one staying home with him then it's my rules. I know my son better than anyone else...even DH...and it's up to me to find what works. If he thinks he can do better i'd challenge him to do it for a day or on the weekends and see how well he does.

Message edited 5/4/2013 4:56:33 PM.

Re: SAHM's- question

I call all the shots. As long as DH gets to sleep at night he doesn't care lol. Even on weekends though I plan all the meals, bath times, etc. If I was going to be out of the house I'd have to tell him what is for lunch or dinner, etc. We do agree on the big things though and never had any issue come up.

Re: SAHM's- question

Thanks for all the input.

I feel like parenting is pretty easy but CO-PARENTING is extremely difficult. argh!!!!

Re: SAHM's- question

We did the same thing with our DS in the beginning he would scream every time he went in the crib for a nap. Eventually they become more active and my DS rolled off the bed i forced him to nap in the crib after that - the first 2 days sucked but he cried for a long time and then got over it. Now he does everything in the crib!

SAHM's- question

it's my way or the highway around here. DH works ridiculous hours so he doesn't get much say. I will say that one of my girls was the same way and both my girls did have reflux however, one of my toddlers will nap in her room but won't sleep thru the night in her room. She has been sleeping in our bed since she outgrew the co-sleeper. It is a real pain. But like you said, she sleeps a whole lot better in my bed. We have a temperpedic bed and I thought she just preferred the softer bed. I even bought them memory foam toppers for their youth beds but she won't sleep in it not even for naps. Both my twins sleep on their leather couch in their rooms every nap and one twin for the night.

Re: SAHM's- question

I set the routines for the day/night mainly because I am home with the kids 24/7 BUT my DH and I really do agree on most everything, especially the big stuff, so we are generally on the same page. We were raised very similarly so our parenting styles are very much aligned which makes things a lot easier in our home.

As far as the bed thing, our kids are not allowed to regularly sleep in our bed. The only exception we make is when they are sick. DD gets very mushy wen she's sick so she will sleep in our bed for a day or two until she's feeling better and then it's back to her own bed.

We both feel strongly that our kids belong in their own rooms, in their own beds. Them sleeping in our bed on a regular basis is just not a habit we wanted to foster. Having them NOT in our room works for us. There were times with my DD that she would fight to come in our bed but I refused to give in, she stays in her room. Period. It was a real battle at times but we weren't backing down.

Honestly, to me the "kids in the bed thing" is a biggie so even if I liked it and DH didn't I would more than likely give in on that one even if its easier for me to have them in the bed. It's his bedroom too, I feel like he has a say. But that's just me, you have to do what's best for you.

SAHM's- question

SO, my DD is the same way.. she is 17 months and goes down at night in her crib with no problem at this point but will NOT take naps in her crib.. she cries and cries but when I lay down next to her in my bed she naps more easily-- problem is that sometimes it still takes her up to an hour to fall asleep and she will sometimes get up if I try to get up -- so it drives me nuts bc I cant take advantage of nap time to get things done.. I haven't been able to do CIO for naps, bc she will just cry through nap time... although I am going to TRY this week and see how it goes. BUt Im digressing from your initial query OP...DH does take issue with certain things I do with DD on occasion, however, I remind him that it is what works for me and that I know her best since I spend the most time with her and he backs down. He is generally pretty good about ;letting me call the shots in this dept.