sad :(

I went back to work 6 weeks ago and my mom watches my baby 5 days a week from 7am till 5pm. I know I should be so happy and thankful that she gets to be with my mom instead of having to go to day care, but I'm really having trouble. I can't help but feel jealous of my own mother when she makes the baby laugh or when DD is happy to see her. I think she prefers my mom to me and it's making me really sad and annoyed at my mom, even though i know shes not doing anything wrong at all. In fact, I should be thanking her, but I cant help feeling this way. Please share your stories or some advice. I'm really struggling with it all.

Re: sad :(

i hear ya ive been back to the FTWM thing for almost 3 years with my older son and just about a month with my 3.5 month old.

my son calls me "mary" by mistake ALL THE TIME - his teachers name really breaks my heart.

Re: sad :(

I felt the same way too. My MIL was watching DD 4 days a week adn all I did was cry every day driving to work.
I am fortunate enough to have a very flexible schedule and I work from home 1 day a week, so she ends up not being there all day (since DH is a teacher and home by 330).
It gets easier, for me at least. Its been over a year and DD is doing really well and is happy.
I wish I had some better advice.

Re: sad :(

My dad watches my son 5 days a week as well. He's 2 1/2 now and my dad has been doing it since DS was 2 months old. I remember when he would reach for my dad instead of me and at 1st it made me feel bad but then I realized the bond that they will forever have. I will always be the mommy. I know that, my dad knows it and DS knows it. But if you ask DS who his best friend is he will ALWAYS tell you "Nonno" (Italian for grandpa) and it melts my heart.

It may take some time for you to see but the bond that your DD will have with your mom is going to be so awesome!!!

sad :(

My mom has been watching my DS since he was 3 months old - he is now 2.5 years old. She watches him 5 days a week from 730ish to 6:30ish.

In the beginning it was hard to be away from him for that many hours, but I knew who he was with and it just made me relax. I am so, so lucky that she watches him.

He absolutely loves my mother and there are mornings that he breaks my heart a million times when he cries 'don't leave Mama!!", but I have no choice and I am grateful my mom is there to comfort and reasure him.

She will never prefer your mom over her own mom. Wait, until she is walking and talking and runs to the door and into your arms yelling 'MAMA!! You home!!!"

It takes time for some of the guilt to go away. I say 'some' because every morning my heart breaks when I leave my DS - it will never go away 100%. Thats just being a mom though.

Hang in there and don't resent your mom - we are one of the lucky's one.

Re: sad :(

Just want to say I'm in the same boat, except that it's with my nanny. I mean, I know I'm so lucky to have someone who loves DD some much, but at the same time it hurts to see her give the nanny the biggest smiles and laughs.

I try to comfort myself thinking that we're so lucky DD has so much love to give out!

Re: sad :(

I know the feeling well. But trust me as they get older it will change. No one and I mean no one will ever be mommy but you. I left DS with my mom when he was 3 months old and was so worried he would think she is his mom. But as soon as I would walk through he would give me the biggest hug and smile. Now with DD I left her at 6 months and didn't even question it. They KNOW who their parents are. Yes my mom helps in raising my children but they do know that she is nonna (italian for grandma) and not mommy.

Re: sad :(

DD is very, very close with my parents, and especially my mom. If me and my mom both walk into the room she goes running to my mom, not me. So I know how you feel.

But I look at it this way....I would be sadder if DD wasn't close with my parents. I'm so fortunate to have my mom around and wanting to be a part of DD's life. So I encourage the closeness.

And at the end of the day, DD knows who her mommy is. When she gets hurt, or scared, or tired she wants ME. I am the biggest comfort to her, and always will be. No one ever takes the place of mommy.

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sad :(

Im having the same problem with my mom. We are not at that point yet where I have gone back to work but I already feel jealous so I am really in trouble. Sorry I cant help except to say I know exactly how you feel

sad :(

similar situation here. i feel resentful that she really gets to spend more time with her than i do, knows her schedule better, etc.
i have no choice but to work FT though.
i know she's in good hands, and i love my mom and MIL(they split her)
but its not ME

sad :(

Similar feeling here except its my MIL... I took a significant pay cut to be home 2 days. That will end soon and I am so sad to think that DS's connection with MIL is gonna be stronger. I constantly feel that I have to be super mom to compensate. No advice - just understand

Re: sad :(

I'm in the same place exactly ..he goes to day care and is with parents other half...he is happy to see me after day care but when picking him up from parents its like I didn't enter the room...I hear it changes as they get older..but for now its super hard

sad :(

DH is home with DS and I cry whenever he can soothe the baby and I can't. I hate it, but I will be home with him all summer so that makes me feel better.