Repost: Feeling Guilty

As some of you know, my father passed away suddenly last Thursday night (march 6th). Since that night I have been staying with my mom. I have a sister and a brother, but being that I am the only one without children, I volunteered to stay at my parents house.

Tonight will be the first night my mom is staying alone. We are all going back to work tomorrow. My mom works only 4 hours a day, 7;30-11:30. As I was packing up all my things, I felt horrible. Then my mom was hugging me and thanking me for everything and she began to cry. I had a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat on my way home even though we only live 10 minutes a way. I feel so guilty knowing she is home all alone.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I felt guilty also after my Mom passed away and I had to go back to the city and leave my Dad


make plans with your Mom for dinner during the week

she is going to need you- but she also needs to be alone - and you do also- it's part of the grieving process

I am so sorry for your loss- you and Scott have been thru way too much

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I didn't know. I'm so sorry to hear this.

I know how you feel. I know this is hard, but eventually things have to get back to some sort of normal.

Do you think it's too soon?

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have been very supportive of her and I'm sure she is so grateful for your love. Could you invite her to stay with you?

You're in my prayers.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I'm so sorry about your father.

It's such a hard situation and I can't imagine being in it. Maybe it will make you feel better to tell her she's welcome to come to your house if she feels lonely and she can always call you to come over if she wants too?

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

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You have been through so much--I cannot imagine how you are feeling.

As long as your mom knows you live so close, hopefully, she feels free to contact you if she needs you.

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I have no advice, just want to say how very sorry I am

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

It is going to take time for life to get back to a sense of normalcy. I know tomorrow is going to be a really tough day, going back to work. One of my friends just went through this, and the first day back was very difficult.

Invite your mom over for dinner during the week, and/or to go out and do something on the weekend. Make sure she knows that you're available to her (I'm sure she already knows that), but at the same time, give her the chance to come to you when she needs you. She will need time to figure out what daily life is going to be like for her without your father.

She's very lucky to have you.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

I have no advice, just want to say how very sorry I am

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Its def a good idea for all of you to go back to work. Maybe stop by for dinner once or twice this week and see her on the weekend? Do not feel guity...

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Aww Danielle , I'm sorry I would feel the same way but life does go on. Besides, your mom may want some alone time anyway. Hang in there

Message edited 3/16/2008 10:12:26 PM.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I'm so sorry for your loss. As hard as it is, going back to work is probably what your Mom, and all of you, need to do to get back to some sort of routine so you can begin to heal. I think maybe setting a day or days during the week where you go there for dinner or have her over to your house is a very good idea. I wish I had some other advice for you. I lost my Mom 6 years ago and getting back to a routine was the thing that helped the most in the very beginning.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I had no idea, I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with everything Beth said.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Aw Danielle I didn't know. I am so so sorry. I lost my dad in '91 - I was 25 years old and living in Spain.

Everyone has to go back to leading their lives at some point, it actually helps to have a routine to follow. Would you consider asking your mom if she wants to stay with you a few nights this week? I know for my mom the nights were the hardest. Fortunately she had my sister with her - she slept wiht her every night for months...

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I'm so sorry about your loss.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I had no idea im so sorry

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Thank you everyone. Before all of this, my mom called me all the time. So I know we will be talking daily. Right now the phone keeps ringing at her house non-stop and the last week and half has been crazy. When it was just the two of us at night, she actaully enjoyed the quietness. We went with my mom to get a new mattress and she has been sleeping in her room again. (My dad died of a massive heart attack in bed).

Being back at my own house and having to go back to some type of routinue is hard too.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

I am so sorry- I did not know about this

My close friend's dad passed away unexpectedly the day after Christmas - same thing as your dad - massive heart attack in bed - she has been staying at her mom's house during the week and at home with her live-in boyfriend on weekends. That is what is working for them - you have to decide what works for you - if it's mom at yours, you at hers - it's not easy...again, I am so sorry!

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Danielle, I am so sorry for your loss



It sounds like this is the best thing to do for now - I know you feel guilty, but it probably for the best right now.

Your mom knows if she needs anything you are just a call away

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Im so sorry. Id feel the same way. But it sounds like you have been there for her and you can still make time to visit. I know it mucy be hard,

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty

Danielle, first of all, so sorry for your loss
Secondly, you need the time the grieve as mush as your mom does. Please don't feel guilty. You are still there for her, even though you are apart physically.

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I am so sorry for your loss

Your mother is lucky to have such a caring and supportive mother.

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I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's passing.

Re: Repost: Feeling Guilty