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Ready2BeAMommy
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 65 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Really heartbroken
So this was our first month of TTC and yesterday I took a preg. test and it was negative, I took another this morning and negative. I'm due for AF at any given moment and although its not over until that witch shows her ugly face I just know that i'm not pregnant. Yesterday was our 2 year anniversary and I guess it was just wishful thinking that I would be one of those lucky one's to get pregnant the first month trying. I was hysterical crying yesterday because I was so broken hearted. I know it was only our first month and some of you are probably going to read this and think I'm a nut but it still made me really sad. I'm a neurotic to begin with and I thought we did everything right, I used an OPK and everything so I just don't understand what I should do differently this time around. The only thing that I could think of is maybe we BD'd to late because I work nights and the night before I got my smiley we couldn't BD and then I when I got home I got my smiley in the morning but we couldn't BD until really late that night it was prob close to midnight. By the time I woke up the next day I didn't have a smiley anymore we still BD'd twice that day but maybe I missed it? Also we BD'd on I believe day 10, 11, (later on 13) and 14. I'm a 28 day cycle and O typically on day 14 (which now I'm assuming I O really early in the day. Do you girls have any suggestions with what BDing schedule we should try out for this month? Thanks girls
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Posted 11/7/12 2:23 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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jteach
2 and through
Member since 9/07 3939 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Really heartbroken
Oh sweetie Ibam so sorry. Dont beat yourself up and question what you did wrong because the fact is youbdid nothing wrong. It takes most healthy couples a few months before a positive. Dont lose hope and just think ahead to next month. Thats the only good thing about ttc. Every time you getblet down there is a clean slate and a new month to have hope in
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| Posted 11/7/12 2:48 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Really heartbroken
you didnt do anything wrong. the chances are only about 15-20% that you will get pregnant any given cycle even if you do everything right. i wouldnt worry about the morning or nighttime BD. honestly the best advice i can give is that you absolutely cannot be neurotic about getting pregnant, esp this early. in 6m to a year maybe, but in one month, you are only hurting yourself if you obsess over it. statistically speaking it SHOULD take 6m or so. just keep tracking your cycle and BDing when appropriate and it will happen.
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| Posted 11/7/12 2:55 PM |
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EandF
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 1674 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really heartbroken
I understand how you feel. DH and I officially started trying last month. We went to Hawaii for our one year anniversary and I literally got AF the day we got back!!! It was early and unexpected. Like you, I was hoping that we would be successful early days but it didn't happen. I was also pretty upset.
We just moved past it and are continuing to try. What else is there really to do.
I don't have any BDing advice. Pls don't get too discouraged. I wish you lots of 
Hopefully both our stays here will be short!
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| Posted 11/7/12 3:14 PM |
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Ready2BeAMommy
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 65 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Really heartbroken
Thanks girls for your words of encouragement. I know that the truth is that it does take most couple a few months. It's just devastating and such a let down to see that negative especially when you want something so bad. I'll try to jump out from having my little pity party and move on to the next month...
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| Posted 11/7/12 4:43 PM |
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junecookie
LIF Infant
Member since 11/12 91 total posts
Name:
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Really heartbroken
i'm sorry, catherine. i'm wishing you the best of luck. it only takes one time! remember that and don't give up. i'm not going to tell you not to get your hopes up or get disappointed because that is not realistic. everyone says "relax," but i dont know how you are supposed to do that. the only thing i do that helps me relax is to remember all the other times when i got upset about something and it ended up being fine. xoxo.
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| Posted 11/7/12 4:50 PM |
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Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Really heartbroken
No matter how long you are tyring the disappointment is awful. Hopefully it will be your time soon!
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| Posted 11/7/12 4:54 PM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: Really heartbroken
One thing I learned is that you cannot torture yourself over TTC. It is what it is. I don't follow a schedule, use OPKs or anything other than keep track of my period. I had a MC in September but it hasnt taken the wind out of my sails just yet. Don't do this to yourself or you will drive yourself crazy. It's supposed to be fun! 
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| Posted 11/7/12 5:02 PM |
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LoveBug72
LIF Infant
Member since 7/12 155 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Really heartbroken
You're so not crazy for thinking it would happen the 1st month.. I was sure I would get pregnant the first month as well.. now we're on month 4 =/ I'm pretty neurotic too so its driving me crazy wondering why it hasn't come. I teared up a little last month at my BFN as well. The biggest advice everyone says it to not stress it and it'll happen. Hopefully soon for all of us!
Good Luck!!
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| Posted 11/7/12 5:26 PM |
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GlowSuarez
Baby Marz is here!
Member since 12/10 1494 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Really heartbroken
 I know exactly how you are feeling because I went through the same thing. I was soo excited thinking everything was going well until I started spotting at 12dpo. I got happy for a second because I thought it was implantation. I tested and it was negative. I did cry to so believe me you are not alone in this!! it sucks and don't feel bad thinking you are exaggerating because this is your first month trying it hurts regardless of the first of 10th time!!! so don't feel like you are a nut!!. I do advice you to clear your mind! keep doing the OPKs but most importantly have fun and enjoy this time with hubby!! It will happen sooner or later!! and when it does its going to be amazing just think of that time!! I hope you are feeling better!! oxoxoxo
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| Posted 11/7/12 8:05 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Really heartbroken
Posted by FlowerWife
you didnt do anything wrong. the chances are only about 15-20% that you will get pregnant any given cycle even if you do everything right. i wouldnt worry about the morning or nighttime BD. honestly the best advice i can give is that you absolutely cannot be neurotic about getting pregnant, esp this early. in 6m to a year maybe, but in one month, you are only hurting yourself if you obsess over it. statistically speaking it SHOULD take 6m or so. just keep tracking your cycle and BDing when appropriate and it will happen.
this...i am not saying to set yourself up for disappointment every month but i know on here everyone seems to get that bfp right away but in reality it can take a very normal very healthy couple up to a year
i want to give u this advice bc at this point u should be having fun...having sex..the stuff people should get to do
bc when u r a infertile like me and having sex will not get u pregnant and u need doctors and nurses and tons of money not to mention years in time u long for the days u could just have regular sex and try to make a baby
enjoy this time..have fun...and i hope you never have to see a bfn again
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| Posted 11/7/12 9:33 PM |
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readyornot2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 712 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Really heartbroken
I think the first month getting a BFN is the worst. Most of us start with very very high hopes. Expect it to take 6 months (at least that's how my dr put it and it helped). It's better to BD before O. What CD day did you get your smiley? Smiley indictaes O is GOING to happen not happening. So just because you don't BD day of smiley doens't mean you miss is. Esp if you BD day before too which is even better! Good luck!
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| Posted 11/8/12 9:49 AM |
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TessMike214
Gabriella Aubrey born 3/26!
Member since 5/10 2440 total posts
Name:
Tess
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Re: Really heartbroken
Posted by readyornot2
I think the first month getting a BFN is the worst. Most of us start with very very high hopes.
I was going to say the same thing.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so down.
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| Posted 11/8/12 2:59 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Really heartbroken
Posted by gina409
bc when u r a infertile like me and having sex will not get u pregnant and u need doctors and nurses and tons of money not to mention years in time u long for the days u could just have regular sex and try to make a baby
enjoy this time..have fun...and i hope you never have to see a bfn again
Gina are you saying that sex makes babies?!! 
Funny, because the last time I got knocked up there were 4 men in the room .. and I was def NOT having sex at the time!! 
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| Posted 11/8/12 6:17 PM |
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Ready2BeAMommy
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 65 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Really heartbroken
Thanks so much for those of you that have given me so much support and encouragement. I'm glad that I have you girls to turn to because you all know exactly what it's like! I know that this is only the beginning and that there is that light at the end of the tunnel. I'm definitely going to just try and relax my mind and go with the flow. I do believe that there is a time for everything so all I can do is go with it. Thanks again ladies xoxoxo...
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| Posted 11/8/12 6:31 PM |
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ttcing
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/09 851 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Really heartbroken
Twin! That beast came for me too..i get af exactly every 28 days n i get my positive around day 14...im very regular. I have a dd n it took us five cycles to get prego with her n here we r again now goin on month 7. It's extremely frustrating n upsetting but u move forward n keep trying. It will happen..positive thoughts ;)
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| Posted 11/8/12 10:12 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Really heartbroken
Just remember...when you do get that BFP and have your first baby, you'll know that you got pregnant exactly when you were meant to... to get the baby you now have.
Hope that makes sense. It took about 4 months for me to conceive Ryan (my first son was first month trying). I was getting a bit frustrated but eventually it happened...and he is seriously the sweetest, best little guy. It just happened to take 4 cycles to get him, that's all. Definitely worth the wait!!
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| Posted 11/8/12 10:29 PM |
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Ready2BeAMommy
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 65 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Really heartbroken
Posted by ttcing
Twin! That beast came for me too..i get af exactly every 28 days n i get my positive around day 14...im very regular. I have a dd n it took us five cycles to get prego with her n here we r again now goin on month 7. It's extremely frustrating n upsetting but u move forward n keep trying. It will happen..positive thoughts ;)
 we really are twins to the "T". AF came yesterday and I too get it every 28 days like clockwork and O on day 14. It makes me feel much better hearing everyone elses stories. I guess I thought that because I am so regular it would happen quickly. Thanks for your reply it definetely helped to ease my mind
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| Posted 11/9/12 12:49 PM |
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Ready2BeAMommy
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 65 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Really heartbroken
Posted by maybebaby
Just remember...when you do get that BFP and have your first baby, you'll know that you got pregnant exactly when you were meant to... to get the baby you now have.
Hope that makes sense. It took about 4 months for me to conceive Ryan (my first son was first month trying). I was getting a bit frustrated but eventually it happened...and he is seriously the sweetest, best little guy. It just happened to take 4 cycles to get him, that's all. Definitely worth the wait!!
I do understand exactly what you are saying and I completely agree with you. Once it finally does happen I will know that it was all meant to be once i'm holding that little angel.
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| Posted 11/9/12 12:52 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really heartbroken
Don't get down on yourself. I was fortunate enough to get a BFP naturally (no fertility doctors or anything) but it took a full 12 months. Some people it just takes longer. Now I did not go nuts with OPK's or temping or anything because I did not want to let myself get obsessed or down in the dumps about it, and on the 12 month we got our happy surprise. Good luck!!
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| Posted 11/9/12 1:43 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Really heartbroken
It's not what you want to hear but it does get easier to see the BFN's.....DH and I ried for 12 months with no luck and then took a month off because we decided it wasn't the rigth time. Too our surprise....BFP! It will happen when it is meant to happen....
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| Posted 11/9/12 2:19 PM |
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