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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
that there are women all around us that would KILL to be snubbed by the grandmothers of their children on mothers day...the women who want but for whatever reason cannot have children.
regardless of what we got or didn't get from whoever should have done it...we still have something so incredible...so precious...our children.
I think it is just terribly unfair that a woman who wants a child would not be able to have one. it has to be the cruelest thing. I am sending love and prayers to all of them now.  
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Posted 5/10/10 4:16 PM  |
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HLT407
So lucky
Member since 11/07 1910 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
While I totally get where you're coming from & many of us feel the same way as you, you can't disregard someone's feelings.
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:20 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
Posted by HLT407
While I totally get where you're coming from & many of us feel the same way as you, you can't disregard someone's feelings.
I don't think that's what J means. She is just gently reminding us all that we should be grateful for the amazing children we have, and that might make being snubbed sting a little less.
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:22 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
And I think this is what hurts me the most....
We struggled with IF and would not have DD without medical intervention, as well as the blessing that I am currently carrying.
It was a painful journey with losses along the way....
A simple acknowledgment from my own mother, for all I went through to become a mommy in the first place would have been sufficient.....Not so much this year, but moreso last year when it was my 1st Mother's Day.
I had no expectations of my mother this year.
ETA: I don't think I would have been hurt had we not had the struggle because I've come to NOT expect things (acknowledgments, compliments, etc....) from my mother. But last year was a VERY special year for me.
Message edited 5/10/2010 4:25:29 PM.
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:23 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
Posted by HLT407
While I totally get where you're coming from & many of us feel the same way as you, you can't disregard someone's feelings.
I didn't. I just brought up a point and wanted to extend some virtual good feeling to OTHER people who may be feeling less than spectacular right now.
this is so frustrating. it has nothing to do with disregarding ANYONE's feelings...moreso it's acknowleging that OTHER women are hurting right now too, albeit for different reasons.
oh well.
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:25 PM |
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HLT407
So lucky
Member since 11/07 1910 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by HLT407
While I totally get where you're coming from & many of us feel the same way as you, you can't disregard someone's feelings.
I don't think that's what J means. She is just gently reminding us all that we should be grateful for the amazing children we have, and that might make being snubbed sting a little less.
No, trust me, I understand that. I just hope that people that are still sensitive to the whole subject don't read into this the wrong way.
To be honest, I'm very sensitive to the whole issue as I got snubbed all around. So when I read it- it came off as "quit yer biiitchin' you still have kids". I *know* that isn't how it was meant, but sometimes- when emotions are raw; it isn't perceived the way it's meant. KWIM?
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:26 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
Posted by HLT407
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by HLT407
While I totally get where you're coming from & many of us feel the same way as you, you can't disregard someone's feelings.
I don't think that's what J means. She is just gently reminding us all that we should be grateful for the amazing children we have, and that might make being snubbed sting a little less.
No, trust me, I understand that. I just hope that people that are still sensitive to the whole subject don't read into this the wrong way.
To be honest, I'm very sensitive to the whole issue as I got snubbed all around. So when I read it- it came off as "quit yer biiitchin' you still have kids". I *know* that isn't how it was meant, but sometimes- when emotions are raw; it isn't perceived the way it's meant. KWIM?
Oh I absolutely get what you are saying - but really, it's not J's fault if someone's perception is clouded. She obviously meant this in a very positive way. And to think otherwise is just silly.
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:29 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
Posted by HLT407
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by HLT407
While I totally get where you're coming from & many of us feel the same way as you, you can't disregard someone's feelings.
I don't think that's what J means. She is just gently reminding us all that we should be grateful for the amazing children we have, and that might make being snubbed sting a little less.
No, trust me, I understand that. I just hope that people that are still sensitive to the whole subject don't read into this the wrong way.
To be honest, I'm very sensitive to the whole issue as I got snubbed all around. So when I read it- it came off as "quit yer biiitchin' you still have kids". I *know* that isn't how it was meant, but sometimes- when emotions are raw; it isn't perceived the way it's meant. KWIM?
trust me, if that is what I meant, that is what I would have typed  it wouldn't have been the first time 
today is my birthday. my mom has not sent me a card in over 15 years. she doesn't even call all the time (though she DID call today) and she sent me a card...but I am "snubbed" by her fairly regularly. I get that there is some sadness. but that is why I said I am putting things in perspective. at the end of the day, after everything that irks me or makes me sad fades away...I have my son. and how lucky am I b/c of it.
anyway, sorry if this made people feel worse or bad or whatever. I just wanted to say something to those ladies who are also hurting.
but I don't have the ability I think to get it right around here for whatever reason.  sorry.
ETA: thanks LB. you are explaining me better than me. 
Message edited 5/10/2010 4:34:30 PM.
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| Posted 5/10/10 4:33 PM |
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HLT407
So lucky
Member since 11/07 1910 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Putting things in perspective....I was just reminded
Posted by Ophelia
trust me, if that is what I meant, that is what I would have typed it wouldn't have been the first time
today is my birthday. my mom has not sent me a card in over 15 years. she doesn't even call all the time (though she DID call today) and she sent me a card...but I am "snubbed" by her fairly regularly. I get that there is some sadness. but that is why I said I am putting things in perspective. at the end of the day, after everything that irks me or makes me sad fades away...I have my son. and how lucky am I b/c of it.
anyway, sorry if this made people feel worse or bad or whatever. I just wanted to say something to those ladies who are also hurting.
but I don't have the ability I think to get it right around here for whatever reason. sorry.
ETA: thanks LB. you are explaining me better than me.
I understand. I haven't spoken to my mom in 8 years  She's dead. No matter what, Mother's Day will always have a nasty sting. So in this case, yes, I'd prefer to be snubbed by my MIL. Pick your poison I guess.
The problem is that people's feelings are relative to their situation. We all come from different places- we're all hurt/saddened by one thing or another. This is a good example of the whole "walk a mile in my shoes" type of scenarios (and no, I don't mean mine- I wouldn't wish my shoes on anyone)
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| Posted 5/10/10 5:20 PM |
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