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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Poll about spanking for the parents
Are spanking and hitting the same thing?
Poll for anonymity
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Posted 6/4/12 9:58 PM  |
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Crunchewy
LIF Adult
Member since 10/08 1232 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
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| Posted 6/4/12 10:07 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
I voted they are not the same, but the only difference is that spanking usually hurts a little less because it is done with an open hand where there is the most "cushioning." However, I think it is just a slightly lesser form of hitting and both are wrong.
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| Posted 6/4/12 10:13 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by LolasMom
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
Then arrest me.
Good Luck tho.
To me yes they are the same when you say them, tho i try NOT to say "hitting" thanks to the hyper mood of today's society. Yes, I spank my child.
Yes, I'm the product of an abusive home and I have physical and mental scars. Ironically I still don't feel that 'hitting' or 'spanking' your child is a crime or abuse.
So its not PC
Oh well. I am not striking my child out of anger or frustration or just because she's there. THAT is abuse. She is learning her actions have consequences. Ones she is old enough to understand, be warned of, spoke to about and its her decision of the outcome. That is NOT abuse.
But of course us parents who stand up and proudly say my kid is spanked are just abusive parents waiting to be arrested, right?
So cuff me.
ETA: To clarify by me saying the same I meant to say I keep saying hit when I mean spank. YES i realize that is wrong. I am trying hard to correct it. I spank my child not 'beat' her. She's nearly four and I can count on one hand the times she's gotten a spanking. However they seemed to have happened more recently as time outs are a joke to her. More we see her climbing that ladder to insanity and we send her to her room. Even if it means picking her up and moving here there. She screams like a banshee. The last time I 'spanked' her was for not listening to us and refusing to sit in her car seat. She went ridge and kicked both me and my husband refusing to sit correctly, slapping our hands away as we tried. We spent nearly 10mins trying to calmly explain why she needed sit, giving her options, threatening with time out and EVEN bribes. Nothing worked. I asked her if she wanted me to hit her. (yeah bad wording) and she said YES! So a smack to the back thigh by dad. (light one) and no response. So we started over then she was asked again. She said yes. I gave her a 'Wake up call' slap on the back thigh that got her attention REAL quick. Nothing brutal but definitely so she knew I meant business. She cried but sat her butt down and moved her hands, let us buckle her up and put her feet down. A few days later she tried it again and she said "remember when I didn't listen?" and she sat down. SHE told us what happened and why and what the results would be. That is a lesson learned.
Message edited 6/5/2012 2:55:04 PM.
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| Posted 6/4/12 10:26 PM |
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jdbaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/11 660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
I think this tends to be an emotionally charged topic.
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| Posted 6/4/12 11:18 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
They are the same thing to me. I *personally* don't believe in hitting/spanking my child. I don't think it accomplishes anything.
ETA spelling
Message edited 6/4/2012 11:29:22 PM.
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| Posted 6/4/12 11:28 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
As someone who grew up in a house where my father was abusive and would hit...
NO they are not the same thing.
My mother would spank me sometimes if i was really bad. As in i'd be running down the hall with my hands on my butt and she'd hit my hands.
Spanking and hitting are totally different IMO!
ETA: for the record, i am for spanking sometimes. I think sometimes its needed and should only be used in extreme cases... (and not often).
Message edited 6/5/2012 6:26:31 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/12 6:23 AM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by LolasMom
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
that's a little extreme comment-so if my kid runs out into the busy road and i spank/hit him once to send the message that he better NEVER do that again i am abusing him????
well then i guess i abuse my children  in my experience i was periodicaly given a smack here or there when it was deserved and let me say that i got the message and NEVER did those things again. for my kids sometimes i do give a swift hit when they do something dangerous..and it works. i don't go around hitting my kids. my parents didn't go around hitting me but i knew it could happen and it always kept me in check which is NOT a bad thing.
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| Posted 6/5/12 7:14 AM |
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Tina1117
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1447 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by ME75
that's a little extreme comment-so if my kid runs out into the busy road and i spank/hit him once to send the message that he better NEVER do that again i am abusing him????
well then i guess i abuse my children in my experience i was periodicaly given a smack here or there when it was deserved and let me say that i got the message and NEVER did those things again. for my kids sometimes i do give a swift hit when they do something dangerous..and it works. i don't go around hitting my kids. my parents didn't go around hitting me but i knew it could happen and it always kept me in check which is NOT a bad thing.
This...I feel the same
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| Posted 6/5/12 7:47 AM |
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RocNMel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/07 697 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
I think they're a little different, spanking is more of a hit on the butt kind of thing. I was never hit or spanked as a child...but I was threatened (but never hit) with the wooden spoon many times lol!
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| Posted 6/5/12 7:51 AM |
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
I said yes, I think my ex would say no
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| Posted 6/5/12 8:37 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by LolasMom
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
I think abuse is a really strong word to use here.
No, they are not the same. Spanking is usually on the toush and I generally do not think of spanking as a hard hit. Its much less offensive and direct. Hitting however can be a smack to the face, which IMO is harsh.
I don't believe in spanking a child for everything, but if DS does something to endanger himself - like run out into the middle of the road - then yes, he deserves a spank. I don't consider this abuse at all. The ideal situation would be to never have to spank your child. But once in a while if its necessary, I don't see anything wrong with it.
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| Posted 6/5/12 8:44 AM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by ME75
Posted by LolasMom
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
that's a little extreme comment-so if my kid runs out into the busy road and i spank/hit him once to send the message that he better NEVER do that again i am abusing him????
well then i guess i abuse my children in my experience i was periodicaly given a smack here or there when it was deserved and let me say that i got the message and NEVER did those things again. for my kids sometimes i do give a swift hit when they do something dangerous..and it works. i don't go around hitting my kids. my parents didn't go around hitting me but i knew it could happen and it always kept me in check which is NOT a bad thing.
Why would you have to spank them for that? Honest question. IMO spanking for that is just an improper release for how scared you were. Just my 2 cents. I never had to hit my kids to give them a message about dangerous things.
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| Posted 6/5/12 9:17 AM |
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Maybe-baby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/07 774 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
This is really about semantics and people's perceptions. To me, spanking and hitting are essentially the same and both corporal punishment. Posted by LolasMom
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
Actually, spanking and hitting aka corporal punishment is not abuse. Corporal punishment is absolutely legal in NYS. What is not legal and considered Maltreatment (not abuse) is excessive corporal punishment (i.e. leaving a mark or bruise). Abuse is when excessive corporal punishment results in protracted injury or death.
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| Posted 6/5/12 9:35 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by Tina1117
Posted by ME75
that's a little extreme comment-so if my kid runs out into the busy road and i spank/hit him once to send the message that he better NEVER do that again i am abusing him????
well then i guess i abuse my children in my experience i was periodicaly given a smack here or there when it was deserved and let me say that i got the message and NEVER did those things again. for my kids sometimes i do give a swift hit when they do something dangerous..and it works. i don't go around hitting my kids. my parents didn't go around hitting me but i knew it could happen and it always kept me in check which is NOT a bad thing.
This...I feel the same
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:04 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
i will be honest and say that I have resorted to spanking - but no more. unfortunately  my son turned around and tried to hit me after I spanked him. That was it. For me, there has to be a better way. Two wrongs won't make a right.
Maybe it was the way that I did it but I don't want to walk that line. I do not want to teach him to hit (and he is only 2!!!)
We have resorted to strict time outs.
Ok so back to the OP - no, I do not view them the same.
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:11 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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....
Message edited 3/4/2013 12:03:39 PM.
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:14 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
same thing.
i have done both.
I have really low tolerance for kids who don't listen or whine.
With both kids, it seems like once they turned 2, I really have no need to hit them from that point on.
I never once felt like an abuser. My dh feels differently.
I think yelling all day creates a much more hostile enviroment then a hit every now and again.
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:35 AM |
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MySunshine
In love with my Baby Boy
Member since 3/11 2783 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
This topic never leads to anything good bc too many people have different emotions and opions towards it and tend to pass way too much judgement.
Whether I agree with it or not, spanking & hitting are very similar. Beating is something different. Spanking to ME is a form of discipline as hitting is; Beating is abuse. Every parent has THEIR child to do whatever they see fit in terms of disciplining them. As long as the child is not in danger it's no one's business what someone does with THEIR child.
Would I spank my kid- I don't plan to but will do if it is necessary. Would I beat them- never.
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:53 AM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by ME75
Posted by LolasMom
There is no difference and they are both abuse.
Spanking is hitting just on the toushy
that's a little extreme comment-so if my kid runs out into the busy road and i spank/hit him once to send the message that he better NEVER do that again i am abusing him????
well then i guess i abuse my children in my experience i was periodicaly given a smack here or there when it was deserved and let me say that i got the message and NEVER did those things again. for my kids sometimes i do give a swift hit when they do something dangerous..and it works. i don't go around hitting my kids. my parents didn't go around hitting me but i knew it could happen and it always kept me in check which is NOT a bad thing.
Yes I think any form of hitting is abuse, even it is a slap in the butt. Teaching them that some hitting is ok, is the same as saying all hitting is ok, in my opinion.
I also think that hitting or spanking is an adult temper tantrum.
Message edited 6/5/2012 10:57:55 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:56 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
No, I don't think they are the same.
But, I don't ever spank or hit my kids. I don't yell at them either-this takes more control on my part though. I find that speaking to them in a low, quiet voice is must more powerful. I do timeouts too.
Message edited 6/5/2012 10:59:21 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/12 10:59 AM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by Tina1117
Posted by ME75
that's a little extreme comment-so if my kid runs out into the busy road and i spank/hit him once to send the message that he better NEVER do that again i am abusing him????
well then i guess i abuse my children in my experience i was periodicaly given a smack here or there when it was deserved and let me say that i got the message and NEVER did those things again. for my kids sometimes i do give a swift hit when they do something dangerous..and it works. i don't go around hitting my kids. my parents didn't go around hitting me but i knew it could happen and it always kept me in check which is NOT a bad thing.
This...I feel the same
thank u....agree totally!....and id like to add that utter disrespect, and defiance also warrants a spank on the butt....I have seen parents that are being utterly disrespected.....kid hits them yells/screams at them and the parent just talks low "Timmy well that's not nice to do to mommy now say sorry please" that continues to be said over and over and the kid continues their tie-raid and then they're put in timeout where the kid continues his fight coming out of timeout and now defiantly laughing at the parent i'm sorry that reminds me of the cops in europe that don't have guns that Robin Williams makes fun of and uses in his comedy routine...."stop.....or.....ill..... say stop again"....when is there a moment where the talking low and timeout isn't working and there has to be a next step to teach that child that they are not the one in charge and need to respect their parents' role
and to use the term abuse is ridiculously harsh and inappropriate
Message edited 6/5/2012 11:28:11 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/12 11:26 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Technically the same thing but "hitting" to me implies a spur of the moment decision where spanking to me implies the rules where set & the kid disobeyed them.
Neither necessarily equates abuse in my book. I think that's a huge leap. Of course, that's dependent on how they are administered.
I'm surprised at how many people consider it child abuse to spank your kid.
Message edited 6/5/2012 11:33:36 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/12 11:32 AM |
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Grill
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 994 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Spanking is a form of hitting. In fact, spanking is what we say when we smack a child. Hitting is what we say when we smack an adult. In both cases...hitting/smacking/spanking has occurred. Linguistically, the only distinction between the two is the age of the recipient.
And since others are providing their opinion of hitting/spanking a child...here's mine. If you wouldn't hit your significant other or your mother, then you shouldn't hit your child. Just because they are young doesn't mean they are any less deserving of respect...in fact, they are far more fragile than adults and could use more TLC. Punishment, especially corporeal is not only NOT effective in the long run, it is a form of physical abuse...no matter what the reason, what the lesson, or what the cause. It's nothing more than a person losing their cool and not being able to effectively teach because of their own intense emotion. And I absolutely feel terrible for any child who gets hit or spanked... or whatever you want to call it. It's bullying at it's most powerful and there are different degrees of severity...but they ALL fall into the category of abusive and/or inappropriate parental responses.
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| Posted 6/5/12 11:32 AM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Poll about spanking for the parents
Posted by Grill
Spanking is a form of hitting. In fact, spanking is what we say when we smack a child. Hitting is what we say when we smack an adult. In both cases...hitting/smacking/spanking has occurred. Linguistically, the only distinction between the two is the age of the recipient.
And since others are providing their opinion of hitting/spanking a child...here's mine. If you wouldn't hit your significant other or your mother, then you shouldn't hit your child. Just because they are young doesn't mean they are any less deserving of respect...in fact, they are far more fragile than adults and could use more TLC. Punishment, especially corporeal is not only NOT effective in the long run, it is a form of physical abuse...no matter what the reason, what the lesson, or what the cause. It's nothing more than a person losing their cool and not being able to effectively teach because of their own intense emotion. And I absolutely feel terrible for any child who gets hit or spanked... or whatever you want to call it. It's bullying at it's most powerful and there are different degrees of severity...but they ALL fall into the category of abusive and/or inappropriate parental responses.
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| Posted 6/5/12 11:39 AM |
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