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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Please help me before I go ape UPDATE BELOW
My SIL has the NERVE to IM me just now and say "Did (DH) tell you I am having twins? I wasnt allowed to tell you."
Yes, he told me. Congrats.
Her: "Oh ok good. I would have preferred only one but twins is good too".
WHAAAAAAAATTT!!!! *** why would you dare say that to me???? Preferred one??? Just goes to show she does not have the same appreciation that I do.
PREFERRED ONE!!!! ??? I blocked her on AIM and have no plans on talking to her.
I want to go off and email her how I feel but please tell me how I should handle this as an adult!
 
Message edited 9/5/2008 11:16:17 AM.
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Posted 9/3/08 9:59 AM  |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
B/c she's an idiot and clearly she's TRYING to push your buttons.
If it were my SIL (the not so nice one) I would've replied back something to the effect of 'wow- I thought you'd have a hard time managing one, but 2!!! DOUBLE trouble!!!  Forget it!!!    (just to push her buttons right back! )
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:06 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Tell her you'd gladly take one off her hands 
You did the right thing by blocking her on your AIM. You're also a stronger person than I am by not saying anything. I know you have been over and over this with your DH, but he REALLY needs to stop this now and stand up to her for you.
Sorry you have to deal with this crap! 
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:18 AM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
She makes me cringe. Is she this clueless her whole life?
Just stay away. She's trying to make you her friend and you don't have to be her friend. You didn't choose her, she came with the package deal.
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:38 AM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Posted by CaseyGirl
My SIL has the NERVE to IM me just now and say "Did (DH) tell you I am having twins? I wasnt allowed to tell you."
My response would have been "So why are you telling me now?"
With all my IL issues, I dont think I am qualified to answer this question other than to say that I think I have been far too nice to the ILs in order to try to keep the peace. Clearly this was not the way to go with them and apparently putting them in their place is what they respect.
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:53 AM |
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karenk71
Love
Member since 6/06 1547 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Ugh..I'm not sure how I would handle someone being soooo insensitive.
I'm sorry you have to deal with her.
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:54 AM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
WHAT A COMPLETE JERK.
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| Posted 9/3/08 11:03 AM |
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shaye3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/07 696 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
So sorry you have to deal with this
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| Posted 9/3/08 11:34 AM |
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mojosmom
LIF Infant
Member since 8/08 197 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Your SIL is a very nasty and spiteful individual. It was a great idea to block her. I would not email her, that would give her too much satisfaction. Just ignore her. She's obviously dying to rub her pregnancy in your face so I would not give her the pleasure.
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| Posted 9/3/08 11:57 AM |
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LIBuckeye
LIF Zygote
Member since 10/07 34 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
How rude & insensitive! You are better off not responding. People like her are just looking for a response to get a rise out of you. Don't give her the satisfaction. Be the bigger person and just stay away. Sorry that you have to deal with this.
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| Posted 9/3/08 2:42 PM |
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kml0907
LIF Infant
Member since 2/08 109 total posts
Name:
Kat
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Posted by LIBuckeye
How rude & insensitive! You are better off not responding. People like her are just looking for a response to get a rise out of you. Don't give her the satisfaction. Be the bigger person and just stay away. Sorry that you have to deal with this.
I agree....take the high road and let her be the only guilty one of being immature. you are stronger than her...
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| Posted 9/3/08 3:37 PM |
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mcl916
my two loves
Member since 10/06 5133 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Wow, just wow. I can't believe the nerve of some people. I'm so sorry you have to deal with her on top of everything else. Luckily Karma is a b*tch
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| Posted 9/3/08 3:54 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
She just called my cell and left a VM. Hey Jen where were you, you were online earlier and then you were gone? CLUELESS as to how mad those comments made me. I feel like I HAVE to say something.
Why would you ask me if my DH told me? And if he didnt? Then you are rubbing it in my face. And the whole part about "preferring" one...YEA I would have "preferred" ONE too - ONE as compared to ZERO
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| Posted 9/3/08 5:27 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Posted by CaseyGirl
She just called my cell and left a VM. Hey Jen where were you, you were online earlier and then you were gone? CLUELESS as to how mad those comments made me. I feel like I HAVE to say something.
Why would you ask me if my DH told me? And if he didnt? Then you are rubbing it in my face. And the whole part about "preferring" one...YEA I would have "preferred" ONE too - ONE as compared to ZERO
Honestly Jen, I think your best bet is for you to sit with her and talk to her about it. Maybe you need to get all of your emotions out in front of her. Tell her how much you are hurting and that this is too much for you be taking in right now. I think this is the only way for to truly understand how much all of this is hurting you.
I would let her know that you are happy for her, but that you need time for it all to sink in
I know it won't be easy, by any means, but I think it needs to come out of you and not DH
And if she really gives you a hard time and isn't nice about it - tell her that you need to distance yourself from her for a while.
I don't know if it is the 'right' advice, but my suggestion
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| Posted 9/3/08 5:45 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
What a jerk!!!!!!!!!! Some people are just idiots!
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| Posted 9/3/08 6:02 PM |
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ihilani
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 858 total posts
Name:
alias
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
I have no words.
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| Posted 9/3/08 7:24 PM |
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-BabyMiracle-
When will my ship come in?
Member since 9/07 1056 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Posted by Marcie
Posted by CaseyGirl
She just called my cell and left a VM. Hey Jen where were you, you were online earlier and then you were gone? CLUELESS as to how mad those comments made me. I feel like I HAVE to say something.
Why would you ask me if my DH told me? And if he didnt? Then you are rubbing it in my face. And the whole part about "preferring" one...YEA I would have "preferred" ONE too - ONE as compared to ZERO
Honestly Jen, I think your best bet is for you to sit with her and talk to her about it. Maybe you need to get all of your emotions out in front of her. Tell her how much you are hurting and that this is too much for you be taking in right now. I think this is the only way for to truly understand how much all of this is hurting you.
I would let her know that you are happy for her, but that you need time for it all to sink in
I know it won't be easy, by any means, but I think it needs to come out of you and not DH
And if she really gives you a hard time and isn't nice about it - tell her that you need to distance yourself from her for a while.
I don't know if it is the 'right' advice, but my suggestion
I agree. Enough is enough already. She does not "get it" so she need to be told straight out directly to her face.
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| Posted 9/3/08 8:32 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
You must be a saint to have restrained yourself during that conversation. Is your SIL really that clueless or is she trying to be hurtful? In either case, I agree she needs to be told how cruel and insensitive she is being. However, I think it would be best for your DH to be the one to tell her off. It's his sister and he needs to stand up for you against his family.
I'm sorry that happened to you, truly. I would go bananas.
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| Posted 9/3/08 8:55 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Posted by Marcie
Honestly Jen, I think your best bet is for you to sit with her and talk to her about it. Maybe you need to get all of your emotions out in front of her. Tell her how much you are hurting and that this is too much for you be taking in right now. I think this is the only way for to truly understand how much all of this is hurting you.
I would let her know that you are happy for her, but that you need time for it all to sink in
I know it won't be easy, by any means, but I think it needs to come out of you and not DH
And if she really gives you a hard time and isn't nice about it - tell her that you need to distance yourself from her for a while.
I don't know if it is the 'right' advice, but my suggestion
I couldn't agree more...You are going through a lot right now. You need to explain all this to her and while you're at it - you should do the same with your DH.
It seems to me that noone is helping you in this time of need right now and you seriously need some support.
I would also suggest counseling of some sort...you need to be able to vent to someone AND get an outside opinion on this behaviour.
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| Posted 9/3/08 11:18 PM |
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
UH I would have slapped her. Who says that?
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| Posted 9/3/08 11:21 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Seriously she may just be clueless. Soooo many people amaze me these days at how little they understand of tact and respect. Many people feel when they are going through something, good or bad, that they are the ones ones going through anything and sounds like she is 100% in the middle of something just like that.
But her words are very hurtful to you and I wouldnt let them go. I know I always say you cannot change people, but I would say first, give her the benefit of the doubt that shes just clueless and inform her of ALL you have been telling us, how it makes you feel etc. No Anger from you, just the hurt and feelings. Dont accuse her, make it about how YOU feel.
Then if she really shows no remorse, understanding , respect in return...Write her off. Tell her mentally you need to protect yourself and its too much for you.
then you feel you 100% made the right decision b/c you gave her the chance.
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| Posted 9/4/08 8:21 AM |
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Did she even want kids before she knew you were dealing with IF? Her timing seems so selfish.
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| Posted 9/4/08 8:48 AM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
Posted by dm24angel
...No Anger from you, just the hurt and feelings. Dont accuse her, make it about how YOU feel.
Then if she really shows no remorse, understanding , respect in return...Write her off. Tell her mentally you need to protect yourself and its too much for you.
then you feel you 100% made the right decision b/c you gave her the chance.
Sorry- this is gonna be long... I was thinking about this last night and what I quoted above hit the nail on the head. I know in life, there are certain ppl who it's VERY difficult to talk to, especially face to face. I have learned that THIS is the best way to talk w/ them. NO ANGER- just focus on all the other feelings- the sadness, the hurt, the emptiness from the longing that you feel to be a mom/parents (if DH talks to her WITH you) and how long you've been trying, etc....
Message edited 9/4/2008 2:15:37 PM.
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| Posted 9/4/08 10:10 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Please help me before I go ape
So Wednesday night, I had ANOTHER pain attack from the kidney stones and wound up back in the ER  but before that, I told my DH what SIL had said. He called her and blasted her about her insensitivity. She hung up on him. She then calls my MIL to TELL ON my DH (She is 42 yr old and supposed to be a mother herself soon!!). My MIL calls my DH and accuses he and I of being MEAN to her and taking away from her joy during this happy time in her life.
Give me an f'in break. Once again goes to show you the woman's maturity level.
So I haven't spoken to her and don't plan to anytime soon.
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| Posted 9/5/08 11:15 AM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Please help me before I go ape UPDATE BELOW
This one sounds like a piece of work. If I were your DH I would call her directly and tell her that she and he can't have any real brother/sister relationship/friendship if every time there are any issues she runs to mommy, and to call him when she grows up.
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| Posted 9/5/08 11:35 AM |
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