Please Help Me

I dont know where else to turn. I am a regular poster on here and signed on under a new name.

My husband and I have been married for one year. Our anniversary was two months ago.

We have been fighting alot lately and today, while he was in the shower his phone kept ringing.

I know I shouldnt have, but I took a peek and a strange number came up. I called it from the home number and a girl answered. I hung up. I dont have the nerve to ask who it is or her name. My husband does have a lot of people he deals with at work- what if it was someoen from work and I make a big deal out of it. I just have this horrible feeling adn I knwo if I mention it to him he will flip.

I was going to ask a good friend to call the number and somehow get the persons name but I jusam so embarresed.

What shoudl I do- I dont want to overreact but I just dont feel rigth about it.

Re: Please Help Me

I think you should approach dh about it. If you do call & it ends up being someone from work, you will make yourself & your dh look bad.

Look up the # on a reverse phone search & see if something comes up

Re: Please Help Me

I agree with Sweetie.. I also wouldn't approach the matter so aggressively, I wouldn't want to come off as my accusing him especially if it's just a co-worker/client.

I hope it's nothing!!

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i'm so sorry you're dealing with this. i hope it works out and is nothing

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I'm a pretty direct person. I would tell him the phone rang ... you looked to see who it was ... and ask him directly ... Who's number was that?

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I would secretly have a friend call and find out who it is...if you ask DH and there IS something going on, he can easily lie...I am sorry that you are even going through this...hell give me the number..I will call her

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I work in Delaware..she'll never know who it is!

Re: Please Help Me

I agree with the posters who say to confront DH. This is marriage now, not dating. You should both be able to trust each other and be open and honest. The longer you hold this in, the longer your mind will make it much more than it could be. And if it is what you think, then it should be addressed now. It's never too early in a marriage for couple's counseling. The first year is said to be the year of adjustment and can be difficult for many couples.

Good luck and be strong and confident.

Re: Please Help Me

I would confront him. Tell him you glanced at the phone and saw a strange # and wondered who it was. If he seems like he is lying, then have you friend call!

Re: Please Help Me

reverse lookup

Re: Please Help Me

I agree that marriage should be based on trust and open communication but if you seriously think something may be going on don't ignore your gut.

I would suggest doing a little investigating before confronting him. If there is something going on, it only gives him a chance to lie.

If you find out there is nothing happening you may want to look into some marriage counseling. Hopefully it will help you understand what you can do as a couple to open the lines of communication and build more trust.

Re: Please Help Me

Well, if it were me, I'd confront him about it.
However, it sounds like you don't want to do that just yet.

So, again, this is only me.....I would take note of the number, and call it from a payphone/your work phone/your friend's cell phone, etc. and find out who it is.......and then the next steps should come naturally.

Re: Please Help Me

yes I would google the number do a reverse search, find out as much information as I could before asking him anything about it.

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so sorry u are dealing with this. I would def look up the number on google and then www.whitepages.com.
if that doesnt help, definately ask him.
i alwasy scroll around my husbands phone and put funny pictures on etc,,,,
cant u play around and casually say, oh who is this? and see if it matches up with the name on reverse directory.
let us know what happens.

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i agree that you should ask him casually, not in a way that seems as though you are suspicious or accusing him of anything. at the same time, look up the number. if your gut tells you something is off, then have someone call for you. no matter what, marriage counseling really is the next step, even if he is innocent, the fact that there is an issue in trust is not a good sign and should be dealt with early on. im so sorry you have to go through this!

Re: Please Help Me

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I know how you feel because I have had the same thing happen with my DH. We are forever going into each other's cell phone phonebook to look up numbers. Well one day I happened upon 2 women's numbers whose names I didn't recognize. I did a reverse search on them or I would use the cell phone bill excuse.

I would do this... first do a reverse search, if that doesnt yield any results you may want to either a) call from a payphone, etc and say something like..."hey, sorry to bother you, I found your number in my... (insert place here, i.e. bag, house, car) with no name. I'm a little embarrased, may I ask who this is, etc. OR b) if YOU get the cell phone bill or can look it up online, locate the number and say to your husband "there was a number on the cell phone bill that doesnt look familiar, do you know who's number it is... I dont want to be charged for calls that arent ours". Option B worked great for me.

I hope this all works out for you... feel free to FM me if you want to talk more.