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A3CM
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Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Playdate Etiquette
this post is being edited... bc i cant figure out how to delete it
Message edited 1/27/2009 8:59:06 AM.
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Posted 1/27/09 6:48 AM  |
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
I voted no, that person A should not rat out person B.
Yes, I'd want to know who it is and I think its wrong to bring your sick kid around other kids, but its really not person A's place to get involved telling everyone else about person B, imo. On a playdate, especially w/20 kids, whether the parent knows it or not someones kid is probably carrying some filthy germ!
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| Posted 1/27/09 6:53 AM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
I see this being a difficult dilemma. I voted that she should tell though b/c when it comes to the safety of children, I think most etiquette rules should get pushed to the side. At first I was thinking, she'd be a whistle blower but again it's about children here not the adults. I would want to know so as to be cautious with any situation with "the potential sick playdate."....ETA: especially if this is common practice for this mom.
Message edited 1/27/2009 6:56:37 AM.
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| Posted 1/27/09 6:55 AM |
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A3CM
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Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
Posted by DanaRenee
I voted no, that person A should not rat out person B.
Yes, I'd want to know who it is and I think its wrong to bring your sick kid around other kids, but its really not person A's place to get involved telling everyone else about person B, imo. On a playdate, especially w/20 kids, whether the parent knows it or not someones kid is probably carrying some filthy germ!
i understand what your saying, but do you think person A should at least then inform person B, bc person B may or may not even realize what they are doing?
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| Posted 1/27/09 6:57 AM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
Posted by DanaRenee
On a playdate, especially w/20 kids, whether the parent knows it or not someones kid is probably carrying some filthy germ!
But this is one parent who does know that her child(ren) has an illness. Shouldn't that facilitate it being common knowledge for everyone so that they can make a decision as to whether or not they want to expose their child to those "germs"?
I understand your theory about kids carrying germs and sometimes you can't tell if they are sick but this woman obviously knows. Shame on her!
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| Posted 1/27/09 7:09 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
Ugh, this sounds like a tough situation. If the mom B knows her kids are sick and brings them anyway, I think she is showing a disregard for the other moms/kids in the group. JMO, but I think it's rude and selfish. It sounds like she just wants to get out with her kids and either doesn't think about the fact that she could be getting other kids sick or she doesn't care.  If I were mom A I would first say something to mom B along the lines of a gentle, "do you think you should come if 'insert child's name' has 'insert name of illness'" If she says she's coming anyway, I'd suggest that she inform the other moms of the illness. If she continues to come without telling everyone else, then I'd tell the other moms. Also, this depends on how sick the kids are. If it's just sniffles, it wouldn't be such a big deal to me. If it's a fever/stomach issue/really bad cold, I wouldn't want to be at a playgroup with her kids nor would I want her infecting my house if I were hosting the group. Again, JMO. 
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| Posted 1/27/09 7:26 AM |
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tran92
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 732 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
devil's advocate.. what is the person isn't bringing out a sick child? everyone assumes because person A said the kids ewre sick there are... what if its something like a bad cough.... kids have asthma and cough for months after a cold is long since over. not contaigous, and not sick, but certianly can give that appearance to people who don't know better. or a runny nose that lingers for 2 months.. probably not a cold, and more likely to be allergies. but people see runny nose and assume cold... somehow i would doubt the mom is bringing the kid out with a stomach virus. its probably a runny nose or a cough, and both of those could be contaigous or NOT!
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| Posted 1/27/09 7:44 AM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
If her kids were that sick, don't you think someone other than A, out of 20 of you, would have noticed it?  A may have *thought* B's kids were sick but it seems a bit odd that one 1 person in 20 actually realized they were.
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| Posted 1/27/09 7:46 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
When you say sick.. what kind of sick? If its just a cold, then I cant see it being that big of deal. A mom at my mommy and me brought her dd when she had a cold, and just made sure her dd had her binkie in her mouth the entire time so she didnt put any of the toys in her mouth.. I was fine with that.
If you say sick as in Stomach virus.. that would pizz me off. Those are soo contagious. I wouldnt want my child around that child.
So for me A shouldnt rat B out unless the sickness was something that was a big deal.
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| Posted 1/27/09 7:46 AM |
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A3CM
Avatar Title
Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
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Message edited 1/27/2009 8:58:31 AM.
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| Posted 1/27/09 8:18 AM |
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
Posted by mommyonli
Posted by DanaRenee
I voted no, that person A should not rat out person B.
Yes, I'd want to know who it is and I think its wrong to bring your sick kid around other kids, but its really not person A's place to get involved telling everyone else about person B, imo. On a playdate, especially w/20 kids, whether the parent knows it or not someones kid is probably carrying some filthy germ!
i understand what your saying, but do you think person A should at least then inform person B, bc person B may or may not even realize what they are doing?
Person A has every right to mention it to person B. I was thinking that I don't think it is fair for person A to talk about person B behind their back to all the other moms, bad mouthing them, kwim?
Message edited 1/27/2009 8:45:04 AM.
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| Posted 1/27/09 8:44 AM |
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
Posted by Lucky
Posted by DanaRenee
On a playdate, especially w/20 kids, whether the parent knows it or not someones kid is probably carrying some filthy germ!
But this is one parent who does know that her child(ren) has an illness. Shouldn't that facilitate it being common knowledge for everyone so that they can make a decision as to whether or not they want to expose their child to those "germs"?
I understand your theory about kids carrying germs and sometimes you can't tell if they are sick but this woman obviously knows. Shame on her!
Yes if parent B knows her kids are sick, shame on her! I agree. But I don't think person A has the right to go around telling everyone that person B is doing this or that. I dont know  I mean, I guess I would like to know if person B is purposely bringing their sick kid around but I just don't think its Person A's responsibility or place to inform everyone. Does that make sense?
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| Posted 1/27/09 8:48 AM |
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NJmom
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Member since 8/05 4987 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate Etiquette
Is there some kind of organizer of your mom's group? I would bring it up with that person and maybe she could send an email to everyone with some kind of sick policy that way no one is being "ratted out." One of the mom's groups I belong to recently sent this everyone...
It's that time of year again and everybody's getting sick. With mostly in home playgroups this time of year let's try to minimize any sickness we spread amongst one another.
Don't go to playgroup if baby or mom:
is acting sick
has thick, yellow, green, nasal secretions
has diarrhea, frequent, watery, mucousy or bloody
has vomited within 48 hours
has fever
has eye drainage or bloodshot eyes
has sore throat
has cough and fever
has spot-like rash following low-grade fever and tiredness (might be chicken pox)
has been on antibiotics for less than 48 hours
If clear runny nose, then use your intuition as to whether it's sickness or allergies/teething. (Likely if it's after sickness, it's still contagious.)
Also, if you are hosting a playgroup where an obviously sick child is brought - it is your prerogotive as host/parent to tell that person you are not comfortable. Just please be nice and use your best judgement.
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| Posted 1/27/09 8:49 AM |
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