Performance Anxiety...

I really didnt know who else to talk to...my DH gets performance anxiety when we "have" to BD because of the timing...he has no problem when there is not a time crunch...we BD sunday with no issue...I told him that I am on a high fertility day so we need to BD and he just couldnt finish...After me expressing my displeasure he eventually "finished"...I get so frustrated and angry that he takes forever and he says that its all the pressure and all I want is his sperm I just feel that there is a window of time and we need to BD...I dont know what to do...BD is not fun when you have to do it a certain day especially during the week since thats abnormal for us to BD then...I want to "help" him but in my heart I feel that I am the one with all the appt's, ultrasounds and medications and all he has to do is finish...he has the easy part.

Any advice???

Re: Performance Anxiety...

I started this way too. Then I just decided not to tell him it was a peak day,..but go with it. I would wear something "nice" and go with it.

GL!

Re: Performance Anxiety...

it is def tough when you have to on a schedule..

my best advice is do not tell him when you are on a high day..esp if u know it is coming up in a few days,hold out so he will be extra in the mood bc it has been a few days

do not mentions opk's babies sperm pressed or any ttc word

also i am one to break out my old catholic girl uniform if need be

also,i am a firm believer in location location location...change it up if you can..do not go on the bed..go on a chair,couch floor shower someplace diff..to get his mind from making babies to just doing his wife..kwim?

it is so frustating sometimes..i have been there..and esp to me i feel bad for the guy bc they do not want to do that and they can't help it

life is so meeseed up sometimes..i long for the days of regular sex lol

Re: Performance Anxiety...

DH had the same issue. So like the girls said, I just stopped telling him when we HAD to BD. Dress up and change of scenery does wonders.

Based on the conversations I have had with DH and another couples husband who are struggling as well, it is hard for them as well, not being able to get us pregnant. Men do think about these things, it is not just us who get frustrated, but it took a long time of trying to get it out of him to know this. GL!

Re: Performance Anxiety...

At least I am not alone in this...if it doesnt work out this month I wont be telling DH its my high/peak fertility time so he doesnt feel the pressure...I really have to make an effort and not get upset if it doesnt happen...I get really impatient since when its for fun it can be so short but when there is a time crunch it can take forever...sadly my DH is not into dressing up or anything like that...I may have to switch up locations.... we did it in the laundry room and that was fun for both of us....and maybe switching positions up might help...I have to be calm and not get agitated.

Thanks girls

Re: Performance Anxiety...

Have you tried watching porn? DH is not very vocal about what he 'likes' but he seems to respond well to certain scenarios in movies. So I try to recreate those. For instance DH likes the whole office/business women thing. So when it was fertile time, I would wear something as simple as heels and a tie. I also learned that DH likes it more in a certain position, although it is not as much fun for me, we start off in otehr positions, but then end with his fav one. HTH!

Re: Performance Anxiety...