Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Well, I've been EBF Riley now for 11 days. When she was born she was 7lbs 12 oz and when we left the hospital she was 7lbs even -- she had lost 12 oz in the hospital, but they reassured me that it could still be OK, that sometimes happens with breastfed babies.

We went to the doctor last week on Friday and she was still 7lbs even -- had stayed the same.

We followed up today and she had lost more weight. She is now 6lbs 12 oz. Additionally her jaundice has gotten worse. The doctor feels as if she is slightly dehydrated from not getting enough when she nurses. The dehydration is making it so that she can't pass the bilirubin from her system.

He sent me right to the hospital to get her bilirubin levels checked and they were much higher -- 17.4 (10.2 when we left the hospital).

We spoke for a long time about it in the pediatrician's office and I cried my eyes out there. He does not want me to nurse anymore. He is all for me pumping and wants me pumping every 2 hours round the clock (even in the middle of the night! ) to maintain my milk supply. But he said I will most likely need to supplement with formula. We need to get her weight back up. She is super sleepy and everyone kept telling me that newborns are sleepy when I was questioning it, but he thinks she is so lethargic because she is slightly dehydrated and not getting enough milk from nursing alone.

So he has me on a strict regimin of bottle feeding her whatever breast milk I can pump and then supplementing with formula to fill in the gaps. He doesnt' want her to go any more then 3 hours between feedings, and no more then 4 hours at night. I have eto write down her ounces and bring it back next week when we go back for a followup. I also need to take her back to the hospital again tomorrow to have her bilirubin level checked again...he is hoping that it will have gone down some by then.

I am so upset that breastfeeding isn't working for us. It didn't work with DD1 but she was in the NICU and so we had certain obstacles. I was so determined to make it work this time.

I already emailed my lactation consultant so I want to hear what she says about the possibility of us one day being able to nurse sucessfully, maybe a few weeks down the road after she has gained back some weight.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Can you nurse for about 10 minutes and then give her a bottle of formua this way you keep upping your supply and the baby gets what she needs. Please don't be hard on yourself.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

I would definitely see what the LC has to say first before you make any decision. There may be issues with latching or ways you could improve production that would help. I know an LC helped me immensely. Remember this is your child and the final decision is up to you, not the pediatrician.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

I'm sorry you are so upset about this. I know this is very personal, but I would follow the dr's orders, knowing that your baby will be absolutely fine if you have to supplement with formula.

MY DD was exclusively formula fed after I developed a horrible infection when she was 4 days old. She's fine and thriving.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

I would try to pump what you can supplement for now. Don't beat yourself up you're doing all you can. Most important thing is your dd health.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

So sorry!

On the brightside...I only pumped for the first 10-15 days (i can't remember) when my twins were in the NICU and went on to have enough of a supply for both of them.

Hang in there!!!!

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Right now I would take a deep breath and stop beating yourself up. The most important thing right now is to get your little ones jaundice under control and getting lots of fluids into her is your main priority. I would definitely agree with no more than 3 hours between feedings- I think its important for your supply to feed every 3 hours at this stage anyway.

If I were you I would give her formula and pump and feed her BM from a bottle...if you want you could always try BF here after you feed her a bottle just to keep her used to it a little.

My sister had to give my nephew formula while he was in the hospital and she pumped while she was giving him formula only...once his jaundice was under control she went back to EBF and he took to it and he was fine.

You can still BF if you want...you might want to get some help from a LC to make sure you are feeding her correctly and often enough etc but your main focus right now should be getting her jaundice under control.

Lots and lots of hugs to you and please look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a GREAT mom

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

don't beat yourself up ! i know that is easier said than done, but you are trying your best. you can still pump and when her weight goes back you can try going back to nursing. you have to do what is best for your baby.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

don't give up...its not over yet..keep pumping, drinking lots of water and maybe once the jaundice is gone and she is a better eater she will be able to be more efficient at the breast

I recommend Dr. Rubin for a lactation consultant and ped. She is great, especially with these situations b/c she has been there. HTH!!

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Thank you so much everyone.

I am already in contact with a lactation consultant. I sent her a message today after the pediatricians so I am awaiting her response. But I've also spoke to my mom about it -- who was a Le Leche League leader for 27 years...and to my sister who sucessfullly breastfed her DD for several years...

I am OK with the decision to supplement with formula, I know it is what Riley needs right nwo.

But I am also determined to give her as much Breast Milk as possible. So pumping every 2 hours it is! I know it is going to get exhausting but I want to know that I gave it my all.

I am also going to try and nurse her and then follow it up with bottle feeding. I figure if I can nurse her for 5-10 minutes while DH prepares her bottles, then at least she is practicing her latch, it is stimulating my milk production, and hopefully in a few weeks when her jaundice is improved and her weight is up we can increase the breastfeeding.

It is so hard not to be upset over this. I wasn't able to successfully BF my DD 6.5 years ago and I always beat myself up for giving up on it so easily. I went into this pregnancy telling myself that this time it would be different. At the hospital all the nurses said she had a great latch, and I was feeling so good about it. Hearing that she had lost so much weight today at the pediatrician broke my heart. When they gave me formula to feed her and left the room I just cried so much. I feel as if I was starving her for the past 11 days and not able to provide her with what she needed.

And I will probably always have those feelings ---- BUT...I also know that I am doing my best and was only trying to do what I thought was best for her -- to breastfeed her. And now I have to move foward to give her what she needs right now...and hope that she just gets as much BM as possible with the pumping.

Thank you everyone for your responses

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

I agree about the LC. Also, what about nursing every 1.5-2hrs instead of pumping? My ped said the same thing about DS (he had lost almost a full pound in the hospital) and he was jaundiced too. They wanted me to supplement and I told them I would not unless it was an absolute necessity. Anyways, I started to nurse pretty much around the clock. A lot of that is because he was a slow nurser, but it really boosted my supply and he gained over 3lbs the first month. He would nurse for 45 minutes on each side, and then take a 1.5hr break. I know that's not possible for a 2nd time mom, but I would try nursing every 1.5 for a few days and bring her back in to be weighed before making my final decision. Good luck!

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

I just wanted to say that this might be a temporary thing - pumping and supplementing. She may be too tired to nurse right now, hence, not getting enough. It's hard on you, yes, but it sounds like you really want this to work, so don't give up just yet. Hang in there!

In the beginning, DS would nurse at least 30 min per side, every 1.5-2 hrs 'round the clock and in the MOTN, I was lucky to get a 3 hr stretch. LUCKY! That was his normal.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Definitely don't just give up if you don't want to! Wait to see what the LC says, and by all means supplement with formula.

I really feel that people are so dead set against supplementing with formula, but thee is absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding and supplementing. Just keep doing what you are doing! Good luck!

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Posted by Melbernai

Thank you so much everyone.

I am already in contact with a lactation consultant. I sent her a message today after the pediatricians so I am awaiting her response. But I've also spoke to my mom about it -- who was a Le Leche League leader for 27 years...and to my sister who sucessfullly breastfed her DD for several years...

I am OK with the decision to supplement with formula, I know it is what Riley needs right nwo.

But I am also determined to give her as much Breast Milk as possible. So pumping every 2 hours it is! I know it is going to get exhausting but I want to know that I gave it my all.

I am also going to try and nurse her and then follow it up with bottle feeding. I figure if I can nurse her for 5-10 minutes while DH prepares her bottles, then at least she is practicing her latch, it is stimulating my milk production, and hopefully in a few weeks when her jaundice is improved and her weight is up we can increase the breastfeeding.

It is so hard not to be upset over this. I wasn't able to successfully BF my DD 6.5 years ago and I always beat myself up for giving up on it so easily. I went into this pregnancy telling myself that this time it would be different. At the hospital all the nurses said she had a great latch, and I was feeling so good about it. Hearing that she had lost so much weight today at the pediatrician broke my heart. When they gave me formula to feed her and left the room I just cried so much. I feel as if I was starving her for the past 11 days and not able to provide her with what she needed.

And I will probably always have those feelings ---- BUT...I also know that I am doing my best and was only trying to do what I thought was best for her -- to breastfeed her. And now I have to move foward to give her what she needs right now...and hope that she just gets as much BM as possible with the pumping.

Thank you everyone for your responses

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Message edited 3/31/2012 3:34:00 PM.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

Posted by Melbernai

Thank you so much everyone.

I am already in contact with a lactation consultant. I sent her a message today after the pediatricians so I am awaiting her response. But I've also spoke to my mom about it -- who was a Le Leche League leader for 27 years...and to my sister who sucessfullly breastfed her DD for several years...

I am OK with the decision to supplement with formula, I know it is what Riley needs right nwo.

But I am also determined to give her as much Breast Milk as possible. So pumping every 2 hours it is! I know it is going to get exhausting but I want to know that I gave it my all.

I am also going to try and nurse her and then follow it up with bottle feeding. I figure if I can nurse her for 5-10 minutes while DH prepares her bottles, then at least she is practicing her latch, it is stimulating my milk production, and hopefully in a few weeks when her jaundice is improved and her weight is up we can increase the breastfeeding.

It is so hard not to be upset over this. I wasn't able to successfully BF my DD 6.5 years ago and I always beat myself up for giving up on it so easily. I went into this pregnancy telling myself that this time it would be different. At the hospital all the nurses said she had a great latch, and I was feeling so good about it. Hearing that she had lost so much weight today at the pediatrician broke my heart. When they gave me formula to feed her and left the room I just cried so much. I feel as if I was starving her for the past 11 days and not able to provide her with what she needed.

And I will probably always have those feelings ---- BUT...I also know that I am doing my best and was only trying to do what I thought was best for her -- to breastfeed her. And now I have to move foward to give her what she needs right now...and hope that she just gets as much BM as possible with the pumping.

Thank you everyone for your responses

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

I had a similar situation with DS#2. I would BF one feeding at night a day.

I actually pumped so much, I got 60+ oz on some days!

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

First off, congratulations. Your DD's are precious! I was in a similar situation just a few weeks back. DD didn't latch on and if she did she fell asleep before she got anything in. I have gone through the jaundice-dehydration routine with DS previously and wanted to avoid it all costs. So DD got formula before my milk came in and expressed BM after it did. Yes, pumping every two hrs was a pain but I kept it up. DD gets frantic if she is not fed as soon as she is hungry. So what I did was give her about 2 oz first-and then get her to latch. and if she was still hungry after, I would give her half an oz more. This went for three weeks and she was still not latching well and by that time had a definite preference for the plastic. My LC suggested using a nipple shield and only with that did she finally latch on well enough to feed directly. I was finally able to stop using any aids only at 5 weeks and now she is a champion nurser at 8 weeks.
So don't lose heart-you are doing the best you can. It is important for her to keep growing and if it takes expressed BM/formula-so be it. And also as they grow older, they are more alert and with time, your milk supply will stabilize. Look up Kellymom.com or drjacknewman.com for videos that show when the baby is feeding well or not. It was so helpful to see those videos and spot the signs. And also try breast compressions to help get the milk to them faster-most babies fall asleep at the breast becoz the flow is not fast enough.
I was disheartened so many times-esp when I was up in the middle of the night pumping, feeding, washing and sterilizing bottles and then getting up one hr later to repeat. But if you want it to work, it will. Just don't go for more than 3hrs without pumping. Good Luck. FM if you want more details or just talk.

Re: Our breastfeeding days are probably over

My son is currently in the NICU. I am pumping for him. I would definitely try pumping and suppliment with formula if needed. Don't stress yourself out because then you will produce less milk. In the beginning I had a lot of problems with my supply and I was beating myself up over it. My LC told me to pump every 3 hours and I could go for one 5 hour sleep span at night just as long as I was getting 8 pumpings in a day it was fine. She also recommended drinking ovaltine and having a beer a night. The beer helps to stimulate milk production. Also try massaging your breasts when pumping and also try to pump after a warm/hot shower. Try using a heating pad on low on your breasts to help stimulate them a little more. Keep trying don't give up and don't stress!