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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
My sister in law (brother's wife) is expecting her second child, my sister and I offered to host a sprinkle but she decided she wanted her two friends to host...ok fine.
I receive the invite and it says ladies only, adults only. My son is 3.5 months old so I asked if this applied to him. In my mind, babies in arms who are NURSING go with Mom? I don't know.
I was told to leave baby with Dad, I said Dad would be the birthday celebration of our other godson and as such, I would not attend.
Apparently, this caused an uproar. My brother is upset that I'm embarrassing his wife by making her look bad for not allowing the baby to come. Their reason for not making an exception for him is that then they will have to explain to their friends who have toddlers why they had to get sitters.
OK sorry for longwinded. My mom and aunts don't want to go now because they feel it is an insult to not allow the only baby in the family to attend. Wondering if others would ban babies in arms from events like this.
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Posted 4/19/12 12:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I, personally, would not prevent a nursing mother from bringing her baby.
And if for some reason I did, I sure as hell wouldn't blame the mother for not coming!
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:07 PM |
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I can understand toddlers but babies? That's nuts. If it was me I wouldn't care if a baby was there.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:07 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I totally get the no baby thing in general, but this is a Sprinkle. Not even a shower. I think it is crazy that your DC and all DC's wouldn't be invited to this. I too would be upset if I couldn't bring my 3.5 month old DC to this - especially as the only baby in the family. Seriously - it is her second kid. How does she not get it?
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:10 PM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I certainly wouldn't ban a mom from bringing a nursing baby - it's a shower and it's celebrating the arrival of a baby. If that's the case, I would certainly understand if a mother chose not to go. It's not like you're bringing a toddler who will be running around.
When my cousin got married, her sister (the planner) had told everyone that children were not allowed at her shower. It was ridiculous because DD was an infant and other cousin had two babies of her own so we both initially said we were not going. In the end, my cousin changed it and let us bring the babies.
For an event like that, I don't understand why you can't bring your infant.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:11 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I wouldn't care either way if it was my shower but I also would not bring my son if the invite said adults only.
I had nursing mothers at my shower and they did not ask to bring their child. I would nto have cared if they did but they never asked.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:12 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by dlj97
I totally get the no baby thing in general, but this is a Sprinkle. Not even a shower. I think it is crazy that your DC and all DC's wouldn't be invited to this. I too would be upset if I couldn't bring my 3.5 month old DC to this - especially as the only baby in the family. Seriously - it is her second kid. How does she not get it?
Yea, thanks! I figured I'd canvas other women because this is truly mind boggling to me. I am all for Mommy having her time away from baby, I think it's healthy and I can understand that inviting toddlers entails some babyproofing...I get it and respect that.
There are 15-20 invited, it's a small event and we went with her and my brother WITH the baby to the tasting. Baby slept in the carrier the whole time. Not that it should matter but she has seen first hand that he's a happy baby that loves to be held and look around. Oh INLAWS!
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:13 PM |
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
It's their fault, I wouldn't worry. You have to feed your baby so what can you do? Go with baby or stay home.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:13 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by alli3131
I wouldn't care either way if it was my shower but I also would not bring my son if the invite said adults only.
I had nursing mothers at my shower and they did not ask to bring their child. I would nto have cared if they did but they never asked.
Good point here. I guess in my mind, there are different rules for friends and family? If a friend invited me and the invite said adults only, I would respond no...I'd never ask. Here, my no is causing an uproar and since we're family I'd think...make an exception? We are her only family, this is her only nephew, only baby, her husband is his Godfather. I guess everyone is dfferent.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:16 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by alli3131
I wouldn't care either way if it was my shower but I also would not bring my son if the invite said adults only.
I had nursing mothers at my shower and they did not ask to bring their child. I would nto have cared if they did but they never asked.
Good point here. I guess in my mind, there are different rules for friends and family? If a friend invited me and the invite said adults only, I would respond no...I'd never ask. Here, my no is causing an uproar and since we're family I'd think...make an exception? We are her only family, this is her only nephew, only baby, her husband is his Godfather. I guess everyone is dfferent.
I still wouldn't bring my son if it was family hosting/Mom to be etc.
It is the same with weddings in my mind. If the invite says no kids I respect their wishes and do not bring my son or I don't go if it is an issue with feeding/schedule/babysitting etc. I look at it as when I host a praty I make my rules and would hope everyone would respect my choices and so I d the same to others.
I think if you can't go cause of feeding then they family needs to understand that. Its all par for the course when you make events no kids.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:20 PM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by Bearcat
I, personally, would not prevent a nursing mother from bringing her baby.
And if for some reason I did, I sure as hell wouldn't blame the mother for not coming!
I agree. I had a no children policy at my shower; however I made it clear that if it was an infant I was ok with that.
I just didnt want kids running all over the place. I had no problems telling the toddler moms that either.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:22 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by RocPin
Posted by Bearcat
I, personally, would not prevent a nursing mother from bringing her baby.
And if for some reason I did, I sure as hell wouldn't blame the mother for not coming!
I agree. I had a no children policy at my shower; however I made it clear that if it was an infant I was ok with that.
I just didnt want kids running all over the place. I had no problems telling the toddler moms that either.
Yes yes and yes.
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:29 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by alli3131
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by alli3131
I wouldn't care either way if it was my shower but I also would not bring my son if the invite said adults only.
I had nursing mothers at my shower and they did not ask to bring their child. I would nto have cared if they did but they never asked.
Good point here. I guess in my mind, there are different rules for friends and family? If a friend invited me and the invite said adults only, I would respond no...I'd never ask. Here, my no is causing an uproar and since we're family I'd think...make an exception? We are her only family, this is her only nephew, only baby, her husband is his Godfather. I guess everyone is dfferent.
I still wouldn't bring my son if it was family hosting/Mom to be etc.
It is the same with weddings in my mind. If the invite says no kids I respect their wishes and do not bring my son or I don't go if it is an issue with feeding/schedule/babysitting etc. I look at it as when I host a praty I make my rules and would hope everyone would respect my choices and so I d the same to others.
I think if you can't go cause of feeding then they family needs to understand that. Its all par for the course when you make events no kids.
It is not a feeding thing to me - I assume every nursing mother has a pump for when they can't be with the baby. And I get time away is fine too, but it seems silly in this situation to me to not allow the baby. I totally respect not wanting kids at parties (all of my showers were no kids - so I totally get that) - but this is a SPRINKLE. Come on. Not even a baby shower. Is she that desperate for attention?
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| Posted 4/19/12 12:32 PM |
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sasha96
lovin' my 2 little ladies!
Member since 5/05 7401 total posts
Name:
Julianne
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I don't get it but I always wanted the babies, toddlers, and children in our family at all events. They were all invited and came to my wedding, wedding shower, and baby shower. To me, kids are a part of the family too. if a parent chooses not to bring them fine, but I always want them invited!
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:04 PM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
If they don't want kids there, fine, but to go bananas over the fact that you can't come b/c you don't have backup childcare is ridiculous and they need to get over themselves.
Stick to your guns and don't go. Let the chips fall and don't feel an OUNCE of guilt over it. 
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:06 PM |
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by Bearcat
I, personally, would not prevent a nursing mother from bringing her baby.
And if for some reason I did, I sure as hell wouldn't blame the mother for not coming!
Same.
When DD was 3.5 months old, I was not making enough milk to be giving her bottles and had to take her everywhere.
Some woman do not pump at all, and do not give bottles.
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:20 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by LiveForMoments
Posted by Bearcat
I, personally, would not prevent a nursing mother from bringing her baby.
And if for some reason I did, I sure as hell wouldn't blame the mother for not coming!
Same.
When DD was 3.5 months old, I was not making enough milk to be giving her bottles and had to take her everywhere.
Some woman do not pump at all, and do not give bottles.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation at the moment. I just returned to work and with pumping, my milk supply seems to be declining a bit...weekends are critical for nursing DS.
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:33 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by sasha96
I don't get it but I always wanted the babies, toddlers, and children in our family at all events. They were all invited and came to my wedding, wedding shower, and baby shower. To me, kids are a part of the family too. if a parent chooses not to bring them fine, but I always want them invited!
I'm TOTALLY with you 110%. I had a wedding and showers filled with kids and some of my favorite pro pics are of the kiddies. Not everyone is like us, I respect that completely.
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:34 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Thanks everyone for your thoughts, MUCH appreciated.
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:36 PM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Eh. I think that is kind of lame. I would say if the infant was on solids what's the big deal with leaving him home for a couple of hours. But he is so little. He is entitled to stay with his mommy. And who cares about having to explain the situation to others as to why he is there. He gets preferential treatment since he is her only nephew.
I do think both parties are a little on the sensitive side. You mentioned that you offered to host the sprinkle but she picked her friends to do it instead. Which there is really no point to tell us that fact other than maybe you are a bit insulted (which I could understand why) with the whole sprinkle in the first place. And now your SIL is giving you a hard time about your DS. Which just adds insult to injury now.
But at the same time maybe there can be some way of compromising. For my BILs wedding I had my parents hang out in the wings with my 11 week old EBF twins. I was a bridesmaid and DH was the best man. This way my girls were there should they need me, but it also gave me the opportunity to fulfill my duties as part of the wedding party.
Is there anyway you can ask someone to come along and sort of shadow you? this way you can attend and only take DS if he needs to be nursed?
I do think as your brothers sister you should be there. Besides your SIL is pregnant and probably hormonal. If I were you I'd make every effort to be there.
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| Posted 4/19/12 1:41 PM |
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PoppySeed
LIF Infant
Member since 10/09 358 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I was told the same thing for a bridal shower when my DD was the same age. I didn't go. My baby did not take a bottle and I couldn't leave her if I'd wanted to. I was sad that I couldn't go, but what can you do?
If your brother is upset that you're not going, ask him to babysit.
IMO bringing a nursing infant to a party is VERY different from bringing a toddler.
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| Posted 4/19/12 2:18 PM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Unless it's an issue of having 20 people wanting to bring babies, I get that. But 1 baby ? A family relative ?
I never understand this at a bridal/baby showers. I'm sorry, but IMO bridal shower/baby showers are pretty boring. It's not like its a drinking, bar or nighttime thing. Why cant they bring the baby?! It's sitting at a table for 4 hours.
In your lap, in a highchair, at the table.
As long as it's not a misbehaving toddler I couldnt care less.
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| Posted 4/19/12 2:20 PM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
Posted by Bearcat
I, personally, would not prevent a nursing mother from bringing her baby.
And if for some reason I did, I sure as hell wouldn't blame the mother for not coming!
ITA!
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| Posted 4/19/12 5:26 PM |
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hdrd0411
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1923 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
That's gross!! A toddler I could understand....but a nursing baby? Don't feel bad....you are doing the right thing
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| Posted 4/19/12 5:31 PM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: Opinions? No baby at a baby sprinkle?
I don't see why they are making a big deal about having to explain it to friends who have toddlers.
1. Toddlers who run around and touch everything are a whole different animal than an infant who will sit with his/her mom the whole time.
2. They are friends, not family. At my wedding I said no children to all the guests. Only my DD and nephews were invited.
3. Why would the friends *want* to bring a toddler. I used to run away from DD as fast as I could when there was a 'no children' party
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| Posted 4/19/12 5:37 PM |
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