"Oops" Pregnancies

It seems to me like at least once a week, I hear about another girl who becomes pregnant by "accident." My own best friend had two totally unplanned children by two different guys. Same with DH's friend, only it's the same parents for both children. Through facebook, I see so many people who are dating for less than a year, get pregnant, and then rush to get married before baby comes. Don't get me wrong, some of these people make great parents and provide their children with all the things they could need/want. Yet there are others, like my friend, who can barely get by and who needs all kinds of assistance just to survive. It just makes me so upset sometimes because I know there are couples out there trying for YEARS to have babies, and for all these people, it happens so easily. I am planning my pregnancy, as I know many of us are, and sometimes I feel like I'm being too cautious, or that planning is bad.
Does anyone else feel this way?

Re: "Oops" Pregnancies

Omg I feel the same exact way. I see it happen all the time and it makes me feel worse about being so responsible and waiting. It's almost like we did something wrong?!

It breaks my heart when I hear people who are having difficulty getting pregnant when there are so many others that have these accidents and shouldn't. Life is very unfair.

Re: "Oops" Pregnancies

My thoughts on this issue are:

1. It makes me sad to see people struggle TTC when I know they would make incredible parents and they want it so bad
2. I hate the uncertainty that you could get a BFP right away or it could take years - and you are supposed to be prepared to accept whatever happens
3. It shocks me to hear about so many "surprises" -- if you are not using BC then it can't be that big of a surprise to get a BFP!
4. I am shocked when I hear how many people use PNP as their BC method, successfully or not
5. Apparently some people are REALLY fertile!

Re: "Oops" Pregnancies

I can understand where you are coming from. I have family who spent more than a hundred thousand dollars to get pregnant. Meanwhile I know at least 2 people who can look at someone and get pregnant and DO NOT provide for their children on their own. They rely 100% on others and the government.

It does not seem fair at all.

This pregnancy was a bit of an "Oops" and I honestly struggled with guilt over it. Knowing there are others going thru such a struggle and actively trying, and we just get pregnant on accident, made me feel awful.

But in the end, all you can do is focus on your life and try to do the best job you can for your family, and hope and wait for when its going to be your time.

Re: "Oops" Pregnancies

sometimes i think it would have been easier to just have an oops...

a friend of mine had a surprise a few months ago and i told her that she was lucky! she was trying with her ex husband but did not get pregnant, then they got divorced and about a year later she got pregnant with her boyfriend. she always wanted to be a mom so i was glad that she got what she always wanted. i told her she was lucky to have a blessing and that i wish DH and i would just go for it already and stop "planning" for the perfect time.

for the last year it seems like all DH and I did was talk about if we were ready, what's a good timeframe, are we going to have enough money, did we have enough time alone before trying for a family, etc. it was like we were always analyzing. now that we are ready there is the pressure of getting pregnant - will it happen right away? will it take awhile?

sometimes accidents are better than the planning you know...