Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Hello

My ds just turned two and everyone (family) keeps telling me that he is bad, wild, etc. I think he is just outgoing and funny but I am his mom so I may not see it.

How can you tell the difference between normal 2 year old antics and a possible problem?

If your toddler has behavior issues how did you find out ?

I have 2 under 2 if that could be a cause for this "bad" behavior.

Thanks!!

Message edited 7/23/2013 11:16:13 PM.

Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

For me, the measure was always whether or not they would respond to a firm no from mom.

Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

He actually is not good at listening to no.


Anyone else?

Thanks

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

He just turned 2 it is a learning process. He may be more spirited than what others are used to.

My advice is don't concentrate on if something is wrong but take a more serious approach if he is doing something that he is not supposed to be and be consistent.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Are there other children in the family that these family members see on a regular basis? Cousins etc?

I ask b/c my MIL thinks my DS is a crazy man, which yes he is very energetic. But I know from watching all his cousins that there's nothing wrong with him. She just hasn't been around kids in about a million years so she's not used to the activity.

Also, when I take him on playdates or to classes he seems just like the other kids. Maybe a little more high energy. And he does not always respond to no from me either.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

I am no help. My first DS was great, no such thing as terrible 2s....now talk to me about hte attitude at 5yo and thats a different story.

But my 2yo is....um.....well he's like jekyll and hyde. He is the sweetest kid, hugs, kisses, concerned if his brother gets hurt, always says thank you and bless you etc.

Then his horns come out and he is very spirited and devilish. he has a horrible temper, very little patience when he doesnt get his way. He i crazy and loves to jump off things, see how high he can climb etc. He only listens if I REALLY yell and even then its if he WANTS to. He kicks, hits me, throws himself on the floor....

I keep joking that I am sending him to baby boarding school.

Truthfully, I love his spirited take no c$ap attitude but he is a handful, he is hard to manage, and he can totally embarrass us in social situations with his "personality" I know we get judged. But I am consistant with him, I give time outs no matter where we are, I try to diffuse when I see him getting mad, but there is only so much in my power. So of it is just his growing pains and I have to wait it out.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

My DD is 2, I don't consider her to be a problem child (nor does anyone else I know of) and she usually doesn't listen to a firm no. I think 2 is a tough age, there is a reason why they say 'terrible two's'. I think people also easily forget how this age can be.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

What are some of the things he does that make family think he is "bad"??

How are his verbal skills? Is it possible he is acting out because he is unable to communicate effectively?

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

I can't believe someone would have the nerve to say that to you. I'm so angry for you.

Kids are wild, crazy, spirited, etc because they're new to the world, exploring and utilizing their senses in all sorts of ways. They don't know yet how to control impulses like adults, they don't know how to express themselves like adults...because they're not adults! He is 2 years old, what could they possibly expect of him? As his parent, you have a handle on the situation and his behavior and can control his discipline.

Unless his behavior is troubling to YOU, or seems aggressive or violent and raises red flags, I would kindly tell anyone who dares to call him "bad" to STFU and keep it moving.

Message edited 7/24/2013 9:41:08 PM.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

It's hard to tell...
Watch him with other kids and compare how they react.
We liked Gymboree because you see what many other kids are doing at that age and whether your kid is too wild or just a kid. With 2 under 2, it also gives your older some alone time....

Kids will also test boundaries a lot. We had throwing problems, so we took away all balls from DS in the house.

When food was being thrown, we took it away.

Listening to "no" is important... But sharing IMO is not really learned for a long time!

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

I do not think that 2 years old is too young to expect a child to understand "no".

They may not obey every single time but I think at some point parents have to start to set boundaries and teach right from wrong.

There should be consequences for not listening, and praise when they do the right thing. That is how they will eventually learn.

Being a parent is hard work sometimes.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Posted by RocPin

Posted by Kelly9904

Then his horns come out and he is very spirited and devilish. he has a horrible temper, very little patience when he doesnt get his way. He i crazy and loves to jump off things, see how high he can climb etc. He only listens if I REALLY yell and even then its if he WANTS to. He kicks, hits me, throws himself on the floor....

I keep joking that I am sending him to baby boarding school.

Truthfully, I love his spirited take no c$ap attitude but he is a handful, he is hard to manage, and he can totally embarrass us in social situations with his "personality" I know we get judged. But I am consistant with him, I give time outs no matter where we are, I try to diffuse when I see him getting mad, but there is only so much in my power. So of it is just his growing pains and I have to wait it out.

Ummmm you just described MY 2 year old. Sometimes I feel like Im the only one. When we are out and about, it seems like everyone has control and their kids are just good kids....then theres my son.....kicking, screaming, flailing, scratching, and hitting when you tell him NO or he doesnt get his way. Sometimes Id rather just stay home then spend money to do fun things with him because it seems these days it always ends in a short 2 hours and with a raging fit.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Do they say he's "bad" with a laugh and a knowing look? or do they really MEAN they think he's a 'bad kid' ?? I can't imagine TELLING someone to their face if I thought their child was a bad seed !!

My family (myself included) always says my little guy is bad - but it's because he's the climber, he's the fearless jumping off the couch on to the table kid - he's the one that wouldn't think twice to tackle his brother to the floor in defense, he climbs out of the crib with a proud smirk and michevoius glint in his eye and is stubborn - but he's not a BAD person bad - he's just no where near as mellow and easy as my first son was at his age. He's a handful - so he gets the laughing "OMG !! He's so bad!" But he's not really a bad kid -

to ME, a bad kid with a true behaviour issue is the kid that makes you uncomfortable. The kid you're worried to leave your kids or a pet alone with b/c they are sneaky and deliberately hurt other children. The kid that is affected by NOTHING - Some kids don't resopnd to time out, some don't respond to being yelled at, some dont' respond to a smack on the a$$ - but MOST responds to SOMETHING - some form of letting them know you do not approve, that their behavior is not acceptable - but some kids (the ones that "I" think are bad, are the ones that don't respond, ever, to ANYTHING - those are the ones that i'd be worried about

hitting out of frustration is normal 2 year old behavior, talking back is normal 2 year old behavior, throwing food is normal 2 year old behavior - tantrums those are all things they do to test their limits and see how much you'll let them get away with as a parent - those behaviors (IMO) don't make them 'bad' -

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Message edited 7/25/2013 11:57:41 PM.

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by RocPin

Posted by Kelly9904

Then his horns come out and he is very spirited and devilish. he has a horrible temper, very little patience when he doesnt get his way. He i crazy and loves to jump off things, see how high he can climb etc. He only listens if I REALLY yell and even then its if he WANTS to. He kicks, hits me, throws himself on the floor....

I keep joking that I am sending him to baby boarding school.

Truthfully, I love his spirited take no c$ap attitude but he is a handful, he is hard to manage, and he can totally embarrass us in social situations with his "personality" I know we get judged. But I am consistant with him, I give time outs no matter where we are, I try to diffuse when I see him getting mad, but there is only so much in my power. So of it is just his growing pains and I have to wait it out.

Ummmm you just described MY 2 year old. Sometimes I feel like Im the only one. When we are out and about, it seems like everyone has control and their kids are just good kids....then theres my son.....kicking, screaming, flailing, scratching, and hitting when you tell him NO or he doesnt get his way. Sometimes Id rather just stay home then spend money to do fun things with him because it seems these days it always ends in a short 2 hours and with a raging fit.

This is my DD!
I feel so defeated sometimes.
It's not fun to go anywhere with her.
It's just not worth it soemtimes.
It makes me so sad and depressed sometimes..

Re: Normal 2 y/o behavior or problem child??

It is completely normal for kids to challenge at this age. But its also a good time to start laying down the law. My DD will be 3 in November and we have had some MAJOR tantrums out in public, but there is always a consequence that follows- Its starting to resonate (I think? LOL)

Good luck this is my most favorite age so far but its also been the most work!

Message edited 7/26/2013 8:38:50 AM.