NICU/Premie moms - UPDATED (now w/pic!)

My sister was admitted to L&D with preeclampsia today, and will most likely deliver on Wednesday.

She's just over 27 weeks, and the baby is measuring just shy of 2lbs.

I would love any advice - what was/wasn't helpful as a NICU mom of a premie? Is there a book you would recommend. I want to help anyway possible.

Also, please share your success stories...

UPDATED at BOTTOM:
my niece, Alicia Faith, was born 2/2! she was 1lb, 13oz and doing well!!

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Message edited 2/3/2010 6:19:41 PM.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

I don't think there are really any books. The only thing I can suggest is to try and help her out at home - maybe offer to clean up her house or make them some food. You spend so much time running back and forth to the NICU at the hospital that there is little time for anything else in your life.
BTW, her chances are very good for the baby at 27 weeks. My cousin gave birth at 26 weeks in December and she should be bringing her son home anyday now.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Our DD was born at 32wks. And our journey was pretty easy compared to most but hard all the same. She breathed on her own from first breath and stayed 21 days in NICU to fatten up and lean to suck/eat.

She will go through many emotions and although there are many books out there its probably best she doesnt read some of them. They can be scary being they chronicle someone elses journey which may have totally different outcomes than her own and can lead to false expectations.

BE THERE FOR HER. offer to drive her to the hospital, do her house chores, prepare meals but most importantly listen to her even if she talks about the same thing over and over. That is worth more than anything becasue she will be emotionally vulnerable.

Message edited 2/2/2010 9:26:09 AM.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

I don't have any personal experience, but my husband was born at 29weeks in 1979. My MIL said he was the size of the palm of her hand.

He is now 6'4" and works for the FDNY, he has no lasting effects of the prematurity

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

As a mom to twin preemies:

Please act as a phone chain so that she does not have to make a million calls a day to update people on the baby's condidtion.

Clean her house

Make some meals

My identical twins were born at 30 weeks weighting 2 lbs 10.5 ounces and 2 lbs 11 ounces. Both came out screaming on their own. They were in the NICU for 6 weeks..

Today they are HEALTHY, and Happy!! I had them evaluated for early intervention. Luckily they do not need services because they are right on track. They are in daycare and are my little munchkin girls who giggle all day!

They are extremely tiny (at 11 months they weigh 15.5 pounds each). But, my husband and I make tiny babies to begin with. Our oldest daughter 9who turns 2 today) weighs 23 pounds!

By the way, they were born at NSUH

Please fm me if you need anything.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Lisa, no advice, just sending some good thought vibes and some HUGS to your sister and her baby

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

I was a Stony Brook NICU mom, and just wanted to say how amazing the nurses and doctors in the NICU were! It's so difficult, but so much easier knowing that the babies are in good hands. Good luck to her!

I agree w/ bringing her food--she won't want to worry about that when she is running to and from the hospital.

Message edited 2/2/2010 9:46:13 AM.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Many hugs to your sister.

I think the first step is to make yourself available in any way possible. When my son was in the NICU, I appreciated people bringing us snacks/treats/bagels. When you are in a situation like that, it is easy to forget about your own needs ie: eating. I remember one day being so appreciative that my sister and her boyfriend went scoping out all the pharmacies because I never got to renting a breast pump for home!!!! Help with errands and such is sooo appreciated as you have such llittle time to do anything.

You are a great sister!!!

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

ITA with the AP who mentioned the phone tree---I absolutely hated talking to everyone to give them updates, I got to the point I didn't want to speak to anyone and had my DH do it bc I had to answer so many times a day that he wasn't coming home yet. I also agree with the food & cleaning---I spent as much time as possible at the NICU with my son and so many other things didn't get done at home. I also liked the preemie clothes bc it was so much better than a white teeshirt all the time on him. If she has any older children, babysitting and activities for them. Hth!

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Be there for her! I delivered at 33 weeks.
Having someone help you out at home is the first thing!
I have an AMAZING family and groups of friends! They brought over meals, gifts (lots of GCs so we can order out if we had to) and even sent DS gifts.
My DD was born May 4th and on June 8th I finally got to bring her home.
She was born at 2lbs 6oz.
She came out breathing, kicking, screaming/crying all on her own.
It was a 45 min. drive each day to go see her in the NICU.
It can get overwhelming. Maybe offer to drive her there some days, if you can so she doesn't have to stress about driving as well.

My DD is now going to be 9 months old (on Thurs) and is almost 15lbs and doing very well!

Any questions PLEASE feel free to FM me.

ETA: she stayed in the NICU to learn how to eat and to "fatten" up.

Message edited 2/2/2010 9:57:29 AM.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Posted by chmlengr

Lisa, no advice, just sending some good thought vibes and some HUGS to your sister and her baby

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

I don't really have any advice but my neice was born at, I think, about 31 weeks. She was 2 lbs 5 oz.
She is now a very active 6 1/2 yo if very petite. But very healthy.

She was in the NICU for about 6+ weeks. When they realized she was coming (SIL was in hospital already) they gave SIL her the steroid shot to help mature her lungs and she came out breathing on her own.

Good luck to your sis and her little baby!

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

All 3 of my kids spent time in the NICU. My twins were both on ventilators. I also used to work part-time in the NICU....so FM if you have any questions at all!!

Definitely help out at the house....once she is discharged she will spend her time shuffling back and forth to the hospital, and the housework becomes a complete non-priority.

Make phone calls and return phone calls for her, because although it it so nice and heartwarming to know how much everyone cares, it becomes so hard to talk to everyone and tell the story and give updates. It is exhausting after awhile.

Have some easy food in the house......stuff they can eat quick when they are home. Or even stuff they can take with them. We ate sooooo many meals in the hospital cafeteria it was nice to have some real food.

Just be there to listen, having a baby in the NICU is usually a bumpy road....two steps forward, on step back type of thing.

many prayers for your sister and her baby

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

very important to keep postive spend as much time as allowed with baby in nicu i dont know yor families religion but I had a little picture with baby jesus taped on the nicu bed

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Don't be afraid to ask questions. The nurses and Dr's tend to just do things and not really keep the parents informed. Get to know the lingo and ask questions if you want. Her baby will be fine. They have such great interventions now.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Tell her to ask tons of questions. It took some of the Dr's several times to explain some things until they dumbed it down into non dr lingo.

Phone chain is good so she doesn't have to call everyone. It gets real old telling people the same news and living thru it.

If she wants to breast feed it can be done. Pump, Pump and Pump while she is at the hospital when she goes to visit as well as at home to build up a supply but I would always pump there so I could leave it there and not have to bring so much back to the hopital.

I also asked the nurses in room tons of questions and I spoke up when I did not like something they were doing. They did not give Joey the chance to feed on a nipple, at times they would tube feed him becuase it was easier, and that was not flying with me.

I really felt like I was not taking care of my kids. It was strange to have someone else feed them, change them, bath them so I tried to get there right before a feeding time so I could do everything for him, go pump and then give him a feeding before I went home. Even the small amount I did do it really helped.

Also not having to worry about where my next meal was coming from helped, or if I had clean clothes really helped. My mom and mil helped us a ton. My mom also would go up every other night so I would have some time to rest.

Hugs to your sister and your family. Dealing with my kids in the NICU and how long Joey was there had to be the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life, although it didn't hit me until they were a year old. And that was shocking to me.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Just wanted to add to what Michelle said-if she wants to BF she needs to get the hospital grade pump and pump RELIGIOUSLY every 3 hrs around teh clock for the 1st 4-6 weeks. Her baby will probably be in the NICU that long at least. I was NOT encouraged at all by the NICU nurses. Luckily I was well prepared since I was having twins I talked to my Dr's a LOT about pre term labor.

I also had preeclampsia but I was 35 weeks. I ended upo getting really sick after they were born. I felt dizzy and weak. The nurses and Dr's were right on top of it though

Message edited 2/2/2010 1:02:11 PM.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

My DD was also born at 27 weeks. She weighed 2lbs 7 oz. YES there is a GREAT book I suggest you get her. We lived and breathed by this book b/c the doctors spit all this medical stuff at you the book put it in to plain language. It is a rough road she has ahead of her and its going to be roller coaster of emotion. The baby will be FINE but will prob be in the NICU for at least 10 weeks or until her due date.
My heart goes out to her, as it is an incredibly difficult time.

The book is:

Preemies : The Essential Guide for Parents of Premature Babies
by Dana Wechsler Linden, Emma Trenti Paroli, Mia Wechsler Doron M.D.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

What hospital is she at?

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Just be there for her. Whatever she needs...food, someone to update friends and family, a shoulder to cry on, etc.

It's an emotional rollercoaster, but you get through it. DD was born just shy of 33 weeks. It was emotionally and physically draining. All the running back and forth to the NICU, to spend time and feed the baby or to bring pumped breast milk. During all that, it was nice to not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, laundry.

I don't know of any books but I found some of the most informational and useful reading materials right in the nicu waiting room.

Good luck to you and your sister.

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

My DS was born at 34 weeks and was in NICU for 2 weeks. It is hard to see your baby in their so just being there to support her as she goes thru it will be so very helpful!!! It is hard to see your baby in the hospital but they really are in the BEST place they can be!!!! 2lbs is a very good size! My prayers are with your sister and her baby!!!

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

i agree with all of the above, but also take some time to make sure she's taking care of herself. Her entire life will be consumed with the baby and how he/she is doing, she's going to need a reminder to take it easy after the c-sec, check the incision, etc.

with the baby coming so early, chances are she doesn't have anything set up yet. maybe take care of that, too? (even though it'll likely be a while before the baby is home to use it.)

You're a great sister for thinking about this

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please

Praying for her and her little baby. She has a very good chance at 27 weeks, medicine is amazing now. I loved my march of dimes book from the NICU, it takes into account the NICU experience and lets you record the ups and downs of the experience, was very therapeutic to me. I was not at the NICU for very long, but def. did not eat while I was there because i never wanted to leave my little boy, so my biggest suggestion is bring her FOOD, and your love

Re: NICU/Premie moms - help/advice please