New and Scared

Hi Ladies,
I've been lurking, but afraid to post for the outflow of emotions. I feel like I'm going to burst and I don't know if I can survive this process so I could really use words of encouragement and stories from others going through this.
My doctor recently told me that I have PCOS, I've had so many sonos and blood tests and this is the first time that I've heard this. DHs numbers are low cause of smoking and he won't quit so the combo makes our chances less and less. Also I found out that I have some blood clotting disease so if I do get pregnant I'll have to have injections to avoid miscarriage. It's a lot of info to take in all at once and I am tryign to process it through constant sobs.
Probably cry at least once every hour. I'm sick of thinking and talking about it, but it's ALWAYS on my mind. I break out in sobs over absolutely EVERYTHING, related or unrelated. How do you stay strong? How do you deal? What are your next steps? Did most of you jump straight to IV or Insemenation or did you keep trying naturally for a while? Any info or encouragement would be great.

Re: New and Scared

I am some what new to this too and went through some testing and will find out more on Tuesday. Since we have started the IF process we haven't been TTC on our own, I think it would just add to the stress. I have been taking it one step at a time and try to tell myself it is not a matter of IF, but WHEN.

It is a lot to take in all at once and you have to sort through everything. It is very emotional too.

Sorry you are joining us, but Welcome! These boards are sooooo helpful.

Re: New and Scared

First off I want to tell you I am sorry you are going through this,, There are many ladies on ths board that have the same exact diagnosis and have conceived.

My dh refused to quit smoking and is over weight.. sperm very very low.

Me: natural killer cells, thyroid, bloodclotting disorder, and I was 43 at the time of my last IVF (which was a success) I turned 44 one month after my dd was born.. I also had a fsh level of 17 at one time.

SOOOOO with that being said I would opt for the straight IVF with ICSI I wish I did this earlier and not wasted my time on 12 inseminations.. Best of luck and there is always someone out there with a worse story than you that got pregnant I PROMISE!!!! Have faith in God and let him see you through this..

Re: New and Scared

It feels like it's more emotionally painful and draining than it is physically. Though lately my emotional stress is becoming physical with horrible back pains, headaches. Did any of you talk to someone, professional, during this process? (counselor, psychologiest, etc)

Re: New and Scared

I am stressed and depressed, at times, and that has been hard for DH and our relationship.
I have not gotten to the point where I feel like I should talk to someone, but I have considered it.
I do have a friend who is seeing a therapist to deal with the stress and emotions of IF.

I think, if you feel like it is becoming overwhelming, that you should consider seeing someone. Stress just makes it harder to get pg, so you need to take care of yourself first.

Good luck!!!!

Re: New and Scared

Thank you ladies for your honesty. It takes a lot to pour your heart out. I know that some of your journeys are far more difficult that what might be expected for me and each of us deal in our own ways. Right now for me, I feel completely alone in these though I am surrounded by people who love and support me. I still feel like they haven't a clue. I am trying to convince myself that I am stronger than this and I am ready to be proactive, I guess that's as good place as any to start.

Re: New and Scared

Hi hun,

About two years ago i was told it was 99% impossible for me to have an egg implant onto my uterus...

And two years later, my chances are now at 50%

I truely believe that with a mix of herbal remedies and a good, and i mean REALLY GOOD, doctor, anyone can over come these obstacles...

Not that I am in the clear, as I am far from it, however, we have looked into IVF and as of right now, we do not have the money. I work for a catholic org so funding is out of the question...

You have to do what is best for you...emotionally and physically. I have been told about the daily injections as well and I honestly dontknow if i would be strong enough....

Have you gotten other opions? Have all options been explained to you?

Have you explained to DH how important his quitting smoking would be, and how it could possibly change his life for the better...forever?

If you need,you can fm me...as I know abot the constant outburst of crying... ive been doing it for years...

big hugs and prayers

Re: New and Scared

I am so sorry you are going through this.
YES, it is very scary and overwhelming at first but you kind of just have to take it day by day. Easier said than done, I know.
I also have the clotting issue and I am on Lovenox injections daily when I go through a IVF cycle. or if I get pregnant--this part scared the hell out of when i first heard what i would have to do-but in all honesty once you start it it's not so bad-you kind of get used to it i guess.
My DH smokes as well and our last IVf cycle we had 5 of 6 eggs that fertilized using ICSI-so sometimes that helps.

I have had 3 losses and was just at a breaking point so I started speaking with a therapist that specializes in fertility--it really did help me.

Please just keep your chin up and if there is ever a time you need to vent or ask questions- whatever -we are here to support you
just remember you are stronger than you think--believe me!!

Re: New and Scared

Thank you all so so much! I definitely need this.

Re: New and Scared

Take a deep breath and know that there is a treatment for everything you described. There are many ladies with PCOS and MF issues who get PG with the help of fertility treatments. Your blood clotting issue is also not unusual and there are plenty of ladies who get PG and stay PG with shots during their pregnancy. You should probably start fertility treatments ASAP. Your doc may want you to try an ovulation induction drug like Clomid with IUI to start. IVF is usually the last resort. Best of luck!

Re: New and Scared

I am so sorry you have to deal with IF. I hope your find comfort and support from this board. I know I already have.
Just wanted to send good wishes your way.

Re: New and Scared

so sorry you are going through this, but the girls here are really so helpful and supportive, ask any question and someone is bound to have a similar situation

i can say i also have blood clotting issues and must take injections of lovenox with my ivf also, i think the thought of the injections is scarier than the actual injections, although i am a wuss and have only given myself one injection and am convinced i totally screwed it up, i thankfully have a great dh that does them for me,

good luck

Re: New and Scared

First, I want to say that IF can be incredibly hard to deal with, but it is not incurable. We all have to find our own path to parenthood, but rest assured there is a path for every one of us. God has a plan and is just a little slower to let us in on it that we would all like. For some the path is insemination, others IVF, surrogacy or adoption. One way or the other you WILL be a mom.

On days when you cry once an hour, you have to take it minute by minute. We've all been there. DH and I drew strength from one another, from our supportive families and I, personally, have drawn a lot of strength and inspiration from the wonderful women on this board.

If I could go through this and be successful (1 ectopic, 6 IUIs, 1 IVF - I have one tube and ovulation issues, plus we have MF) so can you. Good luck!

Re: New and Scared

Wow Congratulations! It definitely helps to hear success stories. All the best wishes to you!

Re: New and Scared

I'm sorry u r goinmg through this! Have you been to an RE yet or have you just been seeing a GYN? When we first realized that we were having issues getting prego, I was a mess---I was hysterical.

I was freaking out when I made my 1st appt for the RE. The RE really calmed me down and gave me a lot of hope.

How do I stay strong? I guess I have my good days and bad days. We all do. At least when I started going to my dr, I felt hopefull bc she is always trying new things for me.

Re: New and Scared

Don't be scared, knowledge is power! The fact that you know these things in advance will save you a lot of emotional roller coaser time. My GF had 3 MC's before they found out about her blood clotting issue!

I got PG with DD VERY easily, but that was 9 years and a million pounds ago, this time it;s been 2 years of heartache with no result yet. But some girls have one round of IUI and it works for them. Only your Dr can really tell you whether IUI or IVF is the way to begin. They may want to try a few rounds of IUI first. Are you seeing an RE or and OB/Gyn? An RE will be able to get more in depth with options. Good Luck

Re: New and Scared

I know how hard it can be to get that diagnosis. I remember how devastated I was when I was told that I had PCOS, and then when my dr. told me I would have to see an RE to get pregnant. I cried and cried.
Struggling with infertility is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I wanted to give you some hope - take a look at my avatar.

After a year and a half of trying, finding out I had PCOS, millions of sonos and blood tests, medication, IUIs, and a miscarriage, I found out I was pregnant with twins. Every day during my pregnancy I had to inject myself with lovenox (for clotting disorder). But on Dec 30, 2008, I delivered my amazing babies. I thought it would never happen, but I am an incredibly blessed mother of two.

Re: New and Scared

That's really amazing. Thank you for sharing. I was wondering...do twins run in your family or did being on clomid have something to do with that? When my DH and I discussed it, we secretly felt a bit of excitement from that possibility, especially since twins don't run in our families.

Posted by SweetTooth


I know how hard it can be to get that diagnosis. I remember how devastated I was when I was told that I had PCOS, and then when my dr. told me I would have to see an RE to get pregnant. I cried and cried.
Struggling with infertility is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I wanted to give you some hope - take a look at my avatar.

After a year and a half of trying, finding out I had PCOS, millions of sonos and blood tests, medication, IUIs, and a miscarriage, I found out I was pregnant with twins. Every day during my pregnancy I had to inject myself with lovenox (for clotting disorder). But on Dec 30, 2008, I delivered my amazing babies. I thought it would never happen, but I am an incredibly blessed mother of two.

Re: New and Scared

I've been working with a RE throughout the testing phase. She presented us with our options...now we have to make a decision.

Posted by skinny

I'm sorry u r goinmg through this! Have you been to an RE yet or have you just been seeing a GYN? When we first realized that we were having issues getting prego, I was a mess---I was hysterical.

I was freaking out when I made my 1st appt for the RE. The RE really calmed me down and gave me a lot of hope.

How do I stay strong? I guess I have my good days and bad days. We all do. At least when I started going to my dr, I felt hopefull bc she is always trying new things for me.

Re: New and Scared