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kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
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Need Support
So I never thought this process of TTC would be so hard. I am in my 2nd month trying and I am already getting down. Please tell me I am not the only one in this same situation!
I am currently on cd 26...first month off bcp i had 28 day cycle and last month was 30 day cycle so i expect should be somewhere between 28-30 day cycle.
Last month I tested like crazy and learned my lesson. I had "fake" symptoms and what i thought was implantation bleeding (which turned our to be nothing since got period at cd30).
This month I haven't tested yet because I cannot bare the disappointment of seeing the bfn again.
I see everyone in here being super excited to test...is anyone like me and avoiding it because you are scared of the disappointment? I keep having flashbacks to last month of seeing the "Not Pregnant" and my heart dropping. I am so scared to see that again this month that I am holding off testing til Friday at the earliest (cd29).
I have no symptoms and I just have an overall bad feeling
Anyone else have the same feelings?
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Posted 12/14/10 9:08 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
apples99
love my sunshine..
Member since 11/08 1535 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Need Support
 pls don't beat yourself up.. my defense mechanism or my coping mechanism has been setting myself up for a negative reading.. its horrible, but i know exactly what you mean.. i haven't bought any pregnancy tests yet.. i won't because i know i will testing like a mad woman..
is it the best way, i don't know.. but i tell myself, if i don't AF on the 30th day, then i will go buy one..   
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| Posted 12/14/10 9:20 AM |
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kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
Posted by ar31
pls don't beat yourself up.. my defense mechanism or my coping mechanism has been setting myself up for a negative reading.. its horrible, but i know exactly what you mean.. i haven't bought any pregnancy tests yet.. i won't because i know i will testing like a mad woman..
is it the best way, i don't know.. but i tell myself, if i don't AF on the 30th day, then i will go buy one..
I know.. I try not to think about it becuase I know stress delays AF and can hurt TTC..but its hard not to!!!
I care too much! haha
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| Posted 12/14/10 9:37 AM |
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addingonemore
My family is complete <3
Member since 11/10 2037 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
When I was TTC for DC #1 I went totally out of control. I also never knew getting pregnant was so hard. by the 3rd month I was absolutely insane with buying tests and always poas, counting days, imagining symptoms- the works. This time around I am trying to remember how terrible I felt and how I made such a beautiful time in my life complete chaos and not let that happen again. This is really a special time for you and DH and keep that your focus- not the days and "symptoms". And know it will happen when God wants it to. But it WILL happen. Don't doubt that. 
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| Posted 12/14/10 9:43 AM |
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jasmine
little boy blue <3
Member since 10/10 1475 total posts
Name:
x
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Re: Need Support
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| Posted 12/14/10 9:49 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Need Support
Lots of girls feel that way about testing...
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| Posted 12/14/10 9:50 AM |
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kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
Posted by AngnShaun
Lots of girls feel that way about testing...
At least I know I am not a freak!
I'll keep you all updated as to what the results are when I actually test. Again, trying to stay strong til Friday or Saturday (cd 29/cd30)
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| Posted 12/14/10 10:03 AM |
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kimNanthony
LIF Infant
Member since 3/09 301 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Need Support
It is crazy how something you tried to avoid for so long is a lot harder to happen than you ever thought! If only I would have known how difficult it actually is to get pregnant for the past 10 years 
But seriously our last time we tried for like 4 months and nothing. Your time will come and when it does it will all be worth it.
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| Posted 12/14/10 10:13 AM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
i always felt that way about testing. i never understood girls that tested at like 8DPO. it was hard for me to test at 12DPO..
however my journey was over 18 months long and I saw a lot of BFNs as well as some BFPs that were chemical pregnancies. if you are only in your second month you really shouldnt stress yourself out that much about it. it may be disappointing, but believe me a BFN on month 2 is nothing compared to a BFN at month 12 after a m/c or two. im not trying to paint a pity picture, just trying to give you some perspective, because in the TTC journey half the battle is what you make of the situation and how you deal with it.
good luck!!
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| Posted 12/14/10 10:58 AM |
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kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
Posted by FlowerWife
i always felt that way about testing. i never understood girls that tested at like 8DPO. it was hard for me to test at 12DPO..
however my journey was over 18 months long and I saw a lot of BFNs as well as some BFPs that were chemical pregnancies. if you are only in your second month you really shouldnt stress yourself out that much about it. it may be disappointing, but believe me a BFN on month 2 is nothing compared to a BFN at month 12 after a m/c or two. im not trying to paint a pity picture, just trying to give you some perspective, because in the TTC journey half the battle is what you make of the situation and how you deal with it.
good luck!!
Oh I know what you mean! My heart def. goes out to those that have been trying for such a long time. I couldn't imagine and am sure it must be hard! I am not trying to say I hurt just as much as they do and compare my feelings to those who have been trying for such a long time (because clearly I wouldn't understand how it feels yet)...just saying the whole process is hard.
I guess it comes down to the fact I have been wanting this bad for over a year now...and we waited a while before actually TTC. Perhaps should have started earlier instead of waiting til I couldn't stand waiting anymore hehe
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| Posted 12/14/10 11:31 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Need Support
It is our first month TTC also and I know I like you will be super upset if we get a BFN..
REALISTICALLY I know that it is normal and natural for it to take a few months to get a BFP...friends of mine with regular cycles & no known fertility issues tried for 7,8 months before getting a BFP.
BUT we can't help the way we feel and your feeling are totally normal IMO much for this month!
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| Posted 12/14/10 11:47 AM |
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Nicoley89
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 623 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Need Support
First off lots of
It is way to early to start stressing out... your only going onto month 2... if you start getting down on yourself you will stress yourself out and it won't be good for you whatsoever (I learned the hard way, stressed myself out so much the month of Sept and wound up skipping AF the month of Oct-which set me back a whole month of trying). Try to just relax I know it's hard because it's prob constantly on your mind like it is on mine but you can't do this to yourself.
As far as testing, I never test until I know I'm late... I don't like testing until at least CD 35-40.
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| Posted 12/14/10 12:05 PM |
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ttcsecret
LIF Adult
Member since 9/10 1016 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
I just wanted to say that when I came off bcp I had the same cycle. The first cycle was 28 days and then the next cycle was 30 days. I calculated also that my cycles ranged from 28-30 days. Our 2nd month of trying we got a BFP and I am 10 weeks now. I had no symptoms and thought I was out. Hang in there. You might just need to regulate a little from coming off bcp.
Message edited 12/14/2010 12:33:44 PM.
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| Posted 12/14/10 12:28 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: Need Support
I'm sorry.
Most if not all girls feel the same way about the BFN's and also the testing aspect of it all.
Just so you know.... it could generally take a normal healthy couple up to a full year to get a BFP. So it's important to find some coping mechanisms to deal with the BFN's. I'm not saying you won't get a BFP this cycle... but 2 cycles is relatively a short time to beat yourself up and get so down and depressed over it. If you keep doing that to yourself you will become an emotional wreck.... on a roller coaster of emotions....
Good Luck!
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| Posted 12/14/10 12:30 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Need Support
i totally understand..after 8 months testing is not fun anymore...when people sayooh its just a test go do it do it..they dont understand how hard seeing bfn after bfn is...
all i can say is dont lose hope and pray that one day we all get our bfps
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| Posted 12/14/10 12:56 PM |
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Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!
Member since 12/08 11013 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
TTCing is an emotional roller coaster. Every month when I get close to AF time I completely lose it. I am overly emotional and each BFN I see drives me even crazier. I can understand not wanting to see one. There are lots of women that don't test till they are late and avoid seeing countless BFN's. I am not one of those women, I am a POAS addict. For some reason a part of me believes I will see a BFP each time I POAS and it is super depressing when that doesn't happen. If I had the self control I would wait till I was late to test too. Good luck!
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| Posted 12/14/10 1:20 PM |
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kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
Posted by MrsKS
I'm sorry.
Most if not all girls feel the same way about the BFN's and also the testing aspect of it all.
Just so you know.... it could generally take a normal healthy couple up to a full year to get a BFP. So it's important to find some coping mechanisms to deal with the BFN's. I'm not saying you won't get a BFP this cycle... but 2 cycles is relatively a short time to beat yourself up and get so down and depressed over it. If you keep doing that to yourself you will become an emotional wreck.... on a roller coaster of emotions....
Good Luck!
I know its early and its only month 2! Which is why I am frustrated with myself ! keep telling myself don't worry it takes an average of 6 months..unfortunately my emotions don't understand that!!
Luckily I will be busy the next 3 months with work and won't have too much time to think about it nevermind to plan BD!! I am in public accounting and starting january will be working minimum 55 hour weeks!!
Not so sure that is a good thing but at least keeps my mind off things 
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| Posted 12/14/10 2:18 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: Need Support
Posted by kokomo181
Posted by MrsKS
I'm sorry.
Most if not all girls feel the same way about the BFN's and also the testing aspect of it all.
Just so you know.... it could generally take a normal healthy couple up to a full year to get a BFP. So it's important to find some coping mechanisms to deal with the BFN's. I'm not saying you won't get a BFP this cycle... but 2 cycles is relatively a short time to beat yourself up and get so down and depressed over it. If you keep doing that to yourself you will become an emotional wreck.... on a roller coaster of emotions....
Good Luck!
I know its early and its only month 2! Which is why I am frustrated with myself ! keep telling myself don't worry it takes an average of 6 months..unfortunately my emotions don't understand that!!
Luckily I will be busy the next 3 months with work and won't have too much time to think about it nevermind to plan BD!! I am in public accounting and starting january will be working minimum 55 hour weeks!!
Not so sure that is a good thing but at least keeps my mind off things
I work for a bank... so I totally understand tax season!!
I found that when I was FINALLY able to throw caution to the wind and just relax (granted was over 9 months after my mc) I got a BFP!! I think the busy will help you tremendously!! But squeeze those  sessions in!! Find quickies even!! Gotta be in it to win it!!!
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| Posted 12/14/10 2:40 PM |
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HeatherRose
Life is Good :)
Member since 11/07 6605 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Support
you have to relax because the standard time takes 3-6 months to get pregnant. stress will cause you to NOT get pregnant
your also newly off bcp, which it could take a few cycles for it to get out of your blood stream
I'm on my 8th month and while I can't lie and say I don't get dissapointed (I say I'm only about 20% dissapointed every month), I look at all the positives-Another month of enjoying my time, time with DH, feeling good, eating and drinking whatever I want, and for me its less time I will have to work. if I got pregnant right now I'd need to work another year so for every month that it goes on its 1 month less that I won't be working, maybe it will work out I don't have to go back at all after 
look at the postivies and know its out of your control, it will happen when its meant to be
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| Posted 12/14/10 3:46 PM |
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