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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Need opinions
My MIL stopped by this past Monday and told me that she would like to come and clean my house before the baby and I come home from the hospital. I told her that was very nice of her but really not necessary...but she keept insisting or offered to help me before I went into the hospital. For some background, everytime she comes over she will try to find something to clean, usually in my kitchen. She's always told me how much she loves to clean and do dishes however her house isn't exactly what I would call spotless. She often makes comments to me about other women in the family who she considers to be lazy and do not keep their homes up to her standards. I consider myself a pretty neat and clean person, and am known to clean like a fanatic if I have company coming over..especially her. I told my DH awhile ago that it bothers me that she feels this need to wash the dishes or straighten the kitchen whenever she visits. With this latest news, he told me that she had mentioned it to him as well, and he thinks I should just let her help me. He says she's just trying to find a way to help and has nothing else to do anyway. However, besides it bothering me that someone else would be cleaning my house, whenever she's "helped" in the past I can't find things because she moves them to places she thinks they should go. I'm not sure if I should be insulted...has she added me to her list of lazy family members... So should I put my feet up and let her knock herself out, or stick to my guns and say thanks but no thanks?
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Posted 7/5/08 10:46 PM  |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Need opinions
Sounds to me like she's just trying to be helpful. If it really bothers you a lot- the fact that she'll be moving stuff around- tell her that you would love for her to help you out but to please leave things where she finds them, otherwise it will take you a lot of time to track your owns stuff down. 
Personally, I HATE when people touch my shiit... regardless if they are doing a good deed for me or not, so I would tell her no if it were me. But then again, I am a difficult person to please. 
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| Posted 7/5/08 10:58 PM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need opinions
Maybe think of something else that she could help you with. maybe say that all you really need is laudry done for example. Maybe she could go food shopping with you and put the stuff away - something like that...
It sounds like she wants to help you but you have to be comfortable as well.
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| Posted 7/5/08 11:01 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Need opinions
I wouldn't like that at all. I don't really want anyone rifling through my things even if their intentions were good. I would say something if it is not what you like. You are not there to please her. It is your home and you should be able to call the shots.
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| Posted 7/5/08 11:04 PM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Need opinions
Posted by ckone
Maybe think of something else that she could help you with. maybe say that all you really need is laudry done for example. Maybe she could go food shopping with you and put the stuff away - something like that...
It sounds like she wants to help you but you have to be comfortable as well.
The food shopping is a good idea I can give her a list...maybe I can get her to freeze some meals for us. Then again, she's always saying how she hates to cook.
Laundry I'm on the fence about because she'd want to put it away, and I'd be back to not being able to find anything if I'm not there to keep an eye out.
Before, DH and I got married he used to call her to come and clean his co-op and do his laundry and I think she misses those days of being needed by him in that way. When I first moved in with him, and she would be invited over for dinner, she used to make me feel like the guest by taking over in the kitchen and not letting me do anything in my new home, but what she considered her son's place. I realized then she was marking her territory, but now that we're in the our new home I haven't allowed her the opportunity to pull the same nonsense.
Hopefully she'll take me up on the food shopping idea.
Thanks for letting me vent girls...I vented to my Mom but I don't want her to start to dislike my MIL.
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| Posted 7/6/08 10:30 AM |
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cjb88
Little Brother
Member since 5/05 3540 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Need opinions
i would be nervous about someone else coming and touching my stuff also... but yesterday morning before I knew what was happening both my mother and my MIL and FIL were over trying to clean the house... i think it freaked me out at first, but they asked me where things went, what i needed done and I just kinda pointed... they really did a great job with vacuuming and moving things that I wasnt able to move... it ended up being a big help...
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| Posted 7/6/08 10:36 AM |
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clmj2
cant believe hes gone
Member since 3/07 4407 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: Need opinions
honestly if you go into the hospital unexpecditly like I did its kind of nice to come home to a clean house...I HATE when my MIL cleans my house...makes me feel like im not good enough in her books.
BUT that being said...i had plans to do dishes and laundry and other housework the day I had DD my house was a mess...MIL came over cleaned everything for me...it was soooooooooooooooo nice to come home to a clean house and just be able to relax a little!
so you may not want her there cleaning which I understand, but if you do go to the hospital and there are a fwe things that need cleaned up tell her she can go over you wont care that she cleaned when you come home you will be relieved you dont have to do it!
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| Posted 7/6/08 11:13 AM |
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