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need help with coping skills

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wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!

Member since 7/10

1050 total posts

Name:

need help with coping skills

I am at work and feel like AF is coming. I really had high hopes for this month. I have to make some decisions because I already have bills piling up with my lack of fertility insurance. I have a busy weekend coming up and a baby shower and I dont feel like I can cope. Can someone please give me advice how to get through on days like these. I just feel like I wont be able to get out of bed.

Posted 5/20/11 12:12 PM
 
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TryingSoHard
I know there's angels watching

Member since 4/11

1725 total posts

Name:
Marissa SugaBeans

Re: need help with coping skills

well first off, not to give you false hope but don't jump to any conclusions yet. I thought AF was coming too full on but it was pregnancy cramps. They feel very similar. It could be ok. I am hoping for you that it is ok.

On the other hand, I know how you are feeling about not wanting to get out of bed or even leave the house. Even worse, go to a baby shower for someone else. I dont know how we can be so strong when we are so broken inside. Somehow it just happens. I was so upset knowing that everyone around me (all of my friends) got pregnant the same time and all have the same due date. I had to tell myself that my time will come. Its just taking a little bit longer. My happiness will come in some way. I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone and thay so many people on here are hoping for nothing but good things for you. We are a very unique group of women. We are so strong and we have been put on this crazy rollercoaster that none of us ever would have chosen to be on nor would we wish it on our worst enemy. My DH always reminded me of the things that we DO have. We are in our 20's, own a house, have a crazy dog, have a family that loves us, and we even own a business. Not many people can say the samething. I am sure there are many things in your life that you can be thankful for and say "hey, at least I have...." Thats what helped me.

Sorry for rambling on and on...

Posted 5/20/11 12:24 PM
 

keepingsecrets
ridiculously blessed!!

Member since 7/09

1912 total posts

Name:

Re: need help with coping skills

i may be in the minority here but for me when i feel hopeless, i really just let myself feel it. i make a deal with myself that i will allow myself to feel that way for one day (or one night) and then the next day i will start to look at all the GOOD things i have in my life. maybe it sounds crazy, but it helps. sometimes i tell DH, "i got AF, i'm sad, i'm angry, i'm frustrated and when i come home tonight i'm sitting my butt on couch, eating chocolate ice cream and feeling sorry for myself" and that is exactly what i do! just for one night. i find that if i let myself just wallow in it for a short amount of time, then it's somehow easier to go put a smile on my face for things like baby showers, family gatherings, etc.

i'm sorry for rambling too! i say tonight you just let yourself have a night to yourself! feel better Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/20/11 2:10 PM
 

wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!

Member since 7/10

1050 total posts

Name:

Re: need help with coping skills

I just got AF Chat Icon
Thanks for the advice.

Posted 5/20/11 2:21 PM
 

keepingsecrets
ridiculously blessed!!

Member since 7/09

1912 total posts

Name:

Re: need help with coping skills

Posted by wantabuninoven

I just got AF Chat Icon
Thanks for the advice.



i'm sorry Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/20/11 2:23 PM
 

nicknmb
SISTERS!

Member since 1/06

5193 total posts

Name:
MaryBeth

Re: need help with coping skills

Posted by keepingsecrets

i may be in the minority here but for me when i feel hopeless, i really just let myself feel it. i make a deal with myself that i will allow myself to feel that way for one day (or one night) and then the next day i will start to look at all the GOOD things i have in my life. maybe it sounds crazy, but it helps. sometimes i tell DH, "i got AF, i'm sad, i'm angry, i'm frustrated and when i come home tonight i'm sitting my butt on couch, eating chocolate ice cream and feeling sorry for myself" and that is exactly what i do! just for one night. i find that if i let myself just wallow in it for a short amount of time, then it's somehow easier to go put a smile on my face for things like baby showers, family gatherings, etc.

i'm sorry for rambling too! i say tonight you just let yourself have a night to yourself! feel better Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




This is pretty close to what I do also. I think if you don't allow yourself to wallow for a bit then you won't be able to move on.

Sorry about AFChat Icon

Posted 5/20/11 2:31 PM
 

CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts

Member since 9/10

1531 total posts

Name:
Cathy

Re: need help with coping skills

Posted by keepingsecrets

i may be in the minority here but for me when i feel hopeless, i really just let myself feel it. i make a deal with myself that i will allow myself to feel that way for one day (or one night) and then the next day i will start to look at all the GOOD things i have in my life. maybe it sounds crazy, but it helps. sometimes i tell DH, "i got AF, i'm sad, i'm angry, i'm frustrated and when i come home tonight i'm sitting my butt on couch, eating chocolate ice cream and feeling sorry for myself" and that is exactly what i do! just for one night. i find that if i let myself just wallow in it for a short amount of time, then it's somehow easier to go put a smile on my face for things like baby showers, family gatherings, etc.



Exactly this! I've learned not to feel guilty about feeling sorry for myself.. BUT I make surethat I put a stop to it. So if I need to cry it out for 15-20 minutes, or sometimes a whole night of doing nothing, that's what I do. But I don't let it interfere with my relationships or other people. Every day, people around me are going to get pg.. friends and family included. I try to stay positive, thinking that one day my time will come.. but for now, Im going to enjoy seeing them happy.
It's not always easy but just because I can't have a baby right now doesn't mean I should deny myself the right to be happy... for me and for others. THAT has not been taken away from us.
Sorry you're going through this. Chat Icon Chat Icon We're all here for you!!

Posted 5/20/11 8:49 PM
 

Sneezy
Thankful for my miracle!

Member since 5/05

1939 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: need help with coping skills

I agree with PP who allow themselves one day to wallow in it. That's what I've always done. Then I brush myself off, put my big girl panties on and move forward.

As for the baby shower... It sucks, but just because she is having a baby doesn't mean you won't. It has nothing to do with you, really. It isn't like there are only a certain amount of babies given out per year and that this lessens your chances of getting one. I don't mean to sound callous, but what I'm telling you is that you need to try to separate yourself from the situation.

Feel better and I'm sorry about AF.

Posted 5/21/11 7:30 AM
 

TryingSoHard
I know there's angels watching

Member since 4/11

1725 total posts

Name:
Marissa SugaBeans

Re: need help with coping skills

Posted by wantabuninoven

I just got AF Chat Icon
Thanks for the advice.




Sorry.....Chat Icon

Posted 5/21/11 1:33 PM
 
 

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