Need Everyones Opinion

Sorry, this is gonna be long. But, please read, i am just so confused as to what I want to do.

With my recent failed #3 IVF cycle I now have 2 options presented to me by my RE:

Option #1: Since my embryo looked so amazing, he's now suggesting that I might want to try one more time. We'd switch up my protocol to an EPP/MDL combo with the hopes of getting 2 or 3 perfect little emby's with co-culture. Because primarily 3 out of every 4 eggs at my age will be chromosomally abnormal. The cost of this option would be around $16k

Option #2: Go direct to DE with Cornell, chance of success according to Dr. D is 60-70%. For a shared cycle its $20k (full cycle is $34k yikes).

I can get on the list for DE and still do round #4, but the question is:

Can I put myself through another round (drugs and emotional stuff)? Can it really make a difference to change my protocol. If I wanted to get in the next series I would have to make my mind up today. AF is spotting at the moment. I am in no way able to do that today (plus there is no guarantee getting on the co-culture schedule). So, that puts me into series 81 sometime in January. Which is fine, who cares how old I am anyway at this point. The other thing is I had 9 follicles going into ER this cycle (more than ever before) but only 3 were large enough (16mm or greater) to be mature and out of that only one was mature (by some miracle). The same happened every cycle.

#1 I had 8 eggs retrieved, we did not do ICSI and I had one embryo fertilize abnormally and was 5-cell on CD3. I have no idea how many were mature b/c they did not analyze them (which still pisses me off). that was on the MDL protocol.

#2 I had 7 eggs retrieved, EPP protocol (not with Cornell) and 3 were mature, but only 2 fertilized with ICSI. They were both multi-nucleated (meaning exactly as it sounds, more than one nucleus, not normal). They were 8 and 7 celled at 3dt.

#3 I had 3 eggs retrieved (b/c Cornell does not count the ones that are less than 16mm but would have been 9 at another clinic). 1 mature, 1 fertilized perfectly with ICSI. Did EPP with co-culture.

And lastly, if #4 doesn't work, there goes another $16k down the tubes and then DE $$$ on top of that. I'm not having too much of an issue with DE. But it will take 6-12mths to get a match.

Any opinions are welcome, please. I just don't know what to do? DH will probably do whatever I want to do.

Thanks so much for reading all that. I hope it made some sense.

Message edited 10/22/2008 10:56:42 AM.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Its such a personal decision. I am looking at round 3 and don't know if I could do another after that and potentially DE after. Then again, when this all started I said I could do 1 cycle and thats it. It totally changes when 1,2,3 doesn't work right? But from the tone of your post it seems like you are leaning toward DE. I think you have to go with your heart with this one. Once that baby in growing away inside you it doesn't matter at all how he/she got there: ivf, DE, DS it doesn't matter. There is no wrong decision and if you do go with Cornell and their DE program you are getting the best.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Honest opinion...go for the DE.
You are over 40. No matter how good those embryos look, it really doesn't mean much in the end.
I have had everything transferred - from Blasts to Morula's to 5 cell embies. Some were perfect, some not so much.
Out of 60 embies transferred, I got pregnant ONCE.
Our eggs are old and not of a good quality. A donor's eggs are young and of great quality. For the extra money, I would go with the thing that gave me the most chance of success...especially if I had access to the $$$.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

I don't have any experience with thios, and i'm sorry you have to make such a tough decision. But it IS such a personal decision. Perhaps if I knew better what you were going through, I could give you some good advice.

I wish you the best of luck with whichever path you choose.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Beth-Ann...I am in your position and I am doing another cycle with my own eggs...and this is #11

Weird, b/c a few years ago I would have said go with DE, but now that I am there I just can't do it for my own personal reasons...

Plus, I trust that Dr D would not give you any hope if there was not any hope left

I had a very similar last cycle (3 retrieved after seeing 8 plus the whole cycle, empty follicle syndrome) and Dr D said he would push me another day or 2 to get those eggs matured for retrieval

Plus, I am hoping to add some other little things to this cycle...I am all about self medicating if I don't get the prescriptions

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Financially, would you be able to do both???

Part of me would tell you, If you could, I would try once more on my own and in the mean time, put myself on the list for DE list.

But, you also have to think of the emotional aspect. Can you go through another failed cycled and then move onto DE??? So, the other part of me would tell you to do whatever has the best chances for success.

Sorry, not much help.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

We could do both financially. But, the amount of money is so scary (after the money we've already spent). Maybe I just need time to recover from this cycle first.

Its a very confusing situation.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

I am only going by what I did and my options were the exact same thing...

I said I have to try one more ivf w/my own eggs that was #3.. If it didn't work I was doing a donor egg.. Its success rate far out weighed doing it 4x w/my own... I was told 75% DE.. with my own 13%.. I would do DE now.. If it was me because that was my next plan..

Now that being said... If you have a gut feeling and a burning desire to go for #4 w/your own.. You have to be true to yourself.. You can always do donor egg.. Our age plays no factor in DE at this point..

I had to convince my dh to let me do this one last 3rd one w/my own eggs.. He really wanted to just go for the DE.. It was that burning desire I had..

Message edited 10/22/2008 11:53:35 AM.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

I dont have any experience w/ this but wanted to send a ton of and your way and tell you how strong I think you are.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

I have not been in your position so take this advice for what it's worth. If you are O.K. with DE then I say go for it. It will dramatically increase your chances of getting PG and hopefully end this IF journey for you. Best of luck!

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

I really think you need time to recover from this cycle before you decide on anything. Make a decision in the new year and just enjoy the holidays.

That being said I would lean toward doing DE. Given your past history, I think your chances of success with your own eggs are slim. You also have to consider your emotional health and getting off this very painful roller coaster and moving on with your life. DE may be your ticket out of here. You should also have closure and take comfort in the fact that you gave it all you had.

I wish you all the best in whatever your decide.

Message edited 10/22/2008 10:19:15 PM.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

I am sorry you have to make this decision. I can only imagine what you are going through. I am not sure what exactly your options are since I am new to this board and havent' learned all the lingo yet, but I wish you all the best and may the decision you make bring you what you have been wishing for.

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Re: Need Everyones Opinion

Sorry for the stupid question but-

What is a "shared cycle"?

Re: Need Everyones Opinion