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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
I have a female family member that is constantly rubbing, grabbing and just laying her hands on my stomach. She even kisses my stomach. I do not like it at all. IMPO, those actions are meant for my husband.
I am not close w/her so I dont feel comfortable telling her to knock it off. When possible, I side step her but she is very quick sometimes. 
I need a diplomatic way to handle this, keep in mind this woman is a semi narcissist, over bearing and has control issues. So I must tread lightly. My friend suggested every time she does it to me, I should grab her boob.
1) I dont want to touch her boob & 2) I really dont think that would go over well.
I appreciate any advice.
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Posted 7/2/12 2:21 PM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
Its funny to say stuff like that but to actually do it would just make you look like a weirdo. lol
You just have to tell her youre not comfortable with people touching your stomach. You dont have to be mean or yell at her.
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| Posted 7/2/12 2:24 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
i think you need to just tell her you're not comfortable with those things - there's really no way to say it any nicer than that!
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| Posted 7/2/12 2:29 PM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by AngnShaun
You just have to tell her youre not comfortable with people touching your stomach. You dont have to be mean or yell at her.
I would never yell or be mean but ummm...we have had situations in the past where I have politely asked her to simply refrain from doing something and she FLIPPED her lid. She explained that she is who she is and she will do whatever she likes. So I was hoping that maybe some one had some ideas on how to word it where I could avoid a scene. I have about 25 days, give or take, left in the pregnancy and I dont see her every day so I considered just "sucking it up" but it happened to me again last night and there is just something about the situation that makes me want to be vocal for myself since I am usually unable to when it comes to her.
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| Posted 7/2/12 2:33 PM |
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BeachGrl
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
This may not be the most mature tactic, but if you're friends with her on FB you could take the passive aggressive approach and post a status like "Gotta love when you're pregnant and everyone thinks it's a free for all with touching your belly. Hands off"
You can even go as far as to customize who can see the status, so you can actually just pick her and no one else would even see it LOL
Like I said, not the most mature approach, but it avoids an unwanted confrontation
Good luck!
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| Posted 7/2/12 2:34 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by MrsJFG
Posted by AngnShaun
You just have to tell her youre not comfortable with people touching your stomach. You dont have to be mean or yell at her.
I would never yell or be mean but ummm...we have had situations in the past where I have politely asked her to simply refrain from doing something and she FLIPPED her lid. She explained that she is who she is and she will do whatever she likes. So I was hoping that maybe some one had some ideas on how to word it where I could avoid a scene. I have about 25 days, give or take, left in the pregnancy and I dont see her every day so I considered just "sucking it up" but it happened to me again last night and there is just something about the situation that makes me want to be vocal for myself since I am usually unable to when it comes to her.
If i knew that before i would have said theres no reason to be nice to her now. Either walk away from her and dont give her the opportunity to touch you or slap her hand away if she comes near you... its your body, you get to say who touches you and who doesnt.
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| Posted 7/2/12 2:37 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
I'm just brainstorming on a non-offensive way to tell her. Would it be too weird to say "I know this sounds crazy, but I'm kinda superstitious and I feel like the belly rubbing is bad luck?"? At least she can't take that personal.
edit for spelling
Message edited 7/2/2012 2:40:09 PM.
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| Posted 7/2/12 2:39 PM |
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WorkinMom324
LIF Infant
Member since 7/10 171 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
i would make a sarcastic/half-joking comment - like "oh, here comes the lady to invade my space/assault me again!" and say it with a little laugh.... who knows? maybe she will get the point...
Or just rub her stomach like she does yours...
Or what about if when you see her, and she is about to come after you, just say, again kind of in a sarcastic/half joking way "ok, I think you have had your fill of touching my belly!" haha
anyways, hope something works!
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| Posted 7/2/12 3:04 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by MrsJFG
Posted by AngnShaun
You just have to tell her youre not comfortable with people touching your stomach. You dont have to be mean or yell at her.
I would never yell or be mean but ummm...we have had situations in the past where I have politely asked her to simply refrain from doing something and she FLIPPED her lid. She explained that she is who she is and she will do whatever she likes. So I was hoping that maybe some one had some ideas on how to word it where I could avoid a scene. I have about 25 days, give or take, left in the pregnancy and I dont see her every day so I considered just "sucking it up" but it happened to me again last night and there is just something about the situation that makes me want to be vocal for myself since I am usually unable to when it comes to her.
um, she's an adult right?
So what if she flips her lid.. all she's doing is making herself look like an idiot.
If you politely ask her to stop rubbing/touching/grabbing you because it makes you uncomfortable, that's all you should have to say. If she makes some rude comment or 'flips' then just say, i'm sorry but that's how i feel, and then walk away. Can your DH back you up on it?
Message edited 7/2/2012 3:05:21 PM.
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| Posted 7/2/12 3:04 PM |
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KvsGrl
Round 2!!
Member since 1/07 1202 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
I would treat it as a new issue... like maybe you didn't mind before but you mind now. Next time you see her and she tries to touch your belly (or before) just say that you are incredibly uncomfortable today and to pls not touch your stomach... too much gas, bloat, whatever excuse you have. If you are bold enough, maybe tell her that any touch and you may fart! 
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| Posted 7/2/12 3:08 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
I think I'd still just say "Please don't touch me, I'm not feeling comfortable."
I don't care who she is, it's your body and no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable.
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| Posted 7/2/12 3:14 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Is there a way you can avoid her until the baby comes? That's what I would do...
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| Posted 7/2/12 3:27 PM |
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WinterBaby13
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 213 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by Melmel821
I think I'd still just say "Please don't touch me, I'm not feeling comfortable."
I don't care who she is, it's your body and no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable.
This. It's your body and regardless of how she reacts/feels or what kind of over the top personality she has she has to respect that.
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| Posted 7/2/12 3:27 PM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
If you politely ask her to stop rubbing/touching/grabbing you because it makes you uncomfortable, that's all you should have to say. If she makes some rude comment or 'flips' then just say, i'm sorry but that's how i feel, and then walk away. Can your DH back you up on it?
I hope DH would back me up to be honest Im not 100% sure. He  when I originally told him I didnt like it. I will try this tactic maybe it will work.
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| Posted 7/2/12 4:02 PM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
Thanks ladies for your advice, I appreciate it. I am going to attempt, as you suggested, just calmly asking her to stop and walking away. Hopefully, it will go well.
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| Posted 7/2/12 4:03 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by MrsJFG
Thanks ladies for your advice, I appreciate it. I am going to attempt, as you suggested, just calmly asking her to stop and walking away. Hopefully, it will go well.
good luck 
sorry there wasn't a better solution
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| Posted 7/2/12 4:08 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
buy one of these shirts
good luck
Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 7/2/12 4:56 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
say your stomach's been very sensitive lately so you've been avoiding touch.......
or if hubby's up for it, have him near you and he can say he's not sharing the belly.
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| Posted 7/2/12 6:13 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
I once told someone I'm really ticklish and she stopped touching my belly.
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| Posted 7/2/12 6:49 PM |
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Ugh so annoying. My mil constantly says "I am dd's grandma so I can do whatever I want" or "she's my baby, too". She's lucky she's good in so many other ways because these comments drive me nuts. I'd tell her in passing that your belly skin is irritated from stretching or something and that wearing a tshirt irritates it. Tell her your dh went to rub your belly and it hurt. Hopefully she will not do it.
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| Posted 7/2/12 6:51 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by WorkinMom324
i would make a sarcastic/half-joking comment - like "oh, here comes the lady to invade my space/assault me again!" and say it with a little laugh.... who knows? maybe she will get the point...
Or just rub her stomach like she does yours...
Or what about if when you see her, and she is about to come after you, just say, again kind of in a sarcastic/half joking way "ok, I think you have had your fill of touching my belly!" haha
anyways, hope something works!
this is prob what i would do too
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| Posted 7/2/12 9:42 PM |
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EBG10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/10 642 total posts
Name:
Erin
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Posted by jams92
buy one of these shirts
good luck
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| Posted 7/3/12 9:07 AM |
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VikingChick
LIF Adult
Member since 5/11 1024 total posts
Name:
Anna
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Need advice on how to handle a situation
What if you told her that because of the really hot weather, and being so pregnant, you can't bear to be touched right now?
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| Posted 7/3/12 1:26 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
Start rubbing her stomach etc. When she backs away, say, "Yep, it's just as uncomfortable when you do this to me, so please stop."
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| Posted 7/3/12 1:49 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice on how to handle a situation
You should let her know that you are uncomfortable.
And it is REALLY good practice for when the baby comes and EVERYONE does EVERYTHING that will annoy you LOL
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| Posted 7/3/12 2:17 PM |
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