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Texas4Good
My Boys
Member since 6/05 1019 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Need advice...
Okay- here is my situation... DH and I moved to Texas in Oct. Soon after, my Sister and her DH moved here too. I gave birth in Nov. and have been a SAHM since. Not quite sure when I will go back to work, just enjoying my DS for now and we are planning Baby #2 come this summer. Well, soon after my sister moved here, she too has become prego with her 1st baby  , due June 4th. Well, she works full-time and can't really afford not to work. She has approached me in regards to child care for her daughter for when she needs to return to work. Child care, meaning "ME" watching her kid. Frankie will be 9 months and her DD will be 3 months. I feel so uncomforable in making a decision. I don't think it was fair of her to approach me and expect me to watch her DD, because I am a SAHM. The way I feel, is that this is Frankie's time to be "only child" and he will be crawling/walking by that time...and now have to have a lap baby in the house again. I don't want to say "no", but I feel as if I have to. Because if I do become prego again this summer, that would just be a lot. How do I approach her with this subject so there are no hard feelings? Advice...please girls! HELP!  I mean if the tables were turned, I would have never depended on her for child care, I would have worked something out with a baby sitter or professional child care place.
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Posted 5/5/06 1:36 PM  |
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JennyGirl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 606 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Need advice...
I think your instincts are right. You know how much work and responsibility that will be. If you say YES you might resent your sis and your new neice. If it were me...I would only offer a day or two as a compromise. Plus it will get your son used to having a baby around.
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| Posted 5/5/06 1:43 PM |
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Tracey
***********
Member since 5/05 6297 total posts
Name:
Tracey - brideinapril
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Re: Need advice...
Posted by JennyGirl
I think your instincts are right. You know how much work and responsibility that will be. If you say YES you might resent your sis and your new neice. If it were me...I would only offer a day or two as a compromise. Plus it will get your son used to having a baby around.
I have to agree, and I also don't think its right that she even asked you to begin with. I mean, if you wanted to watch the baby you would have offered your help to her.
I think if it were me, I would offer maybe a day or 2 like the other poster said. Not more than that, only because it will be a LOT of work - chasing after your son while holding the baby. It can get old fast and you don't want to find yourself resenting your neice.
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| Posted 5/5/06 1:57 PM |
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dree
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1107 total posts
Name:
Dree
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Re: Need advice...
with the way my 10 month old is....getting into everything I would just have to say no. She probably won't understand now but after she has her baby she may realize how much work is actually involved. The best I would do is 1 day. (sorry sis)
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| Posted 5/5/06 2:10 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Need advice...
I am sorry, but I would not agree to this unless it was something that you offered or you were seeking to do in order to supplement your income. If you are a SAHM that does not mean that you are a free daycare worker. You will have A LOT on your hands, plus if you do get pregnant with #2 that means worrying about scheduling doctor appts, caring for a VERY young baby on top of your still young baby, plus if you don't feel well you can't just stay in bed with your son for a few hours. Also, if your son gets sick what do you do about your neice/nephew? What if your niece/nephew gets sick? What happens when you want to go on vacation, want to go for a playdate, want to go food shopping etc.....
While I totally understand WHY she wants her sister to care for her child I would tell her that you honestly don't think it is a great idea. I would not offer 1 or 2 days. It is better for her child to be used to her daycare situation IMO and not get moved around multiple places each week. And that one or 2 days could easily turn into 3 or 4 or 5 if she decideds she doesn't like a certain daycare etc..etc..she could start to rely on you more than you want.
Tell her that you will, of course, always be available in an emergency (like the baby needs to get picked up from daycare or your sister needs help because the daycare is closed and she needs to work) but list the reasons above.
I would offer to help her find a great daycare and go with her to places. Maybe giving her that support will also help the transition.
Message edited 5/5/2006 2:16:29 PM.
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| Posted 5/5/06 2:15 PM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice...
Message edited 2/8/2007 11:49:15 AM.
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| Posted 5/5/06 2:17 PM |
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Texas4Good
My Boys
Member since 6/05 1019 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Need advice...
Posted by michele31
I am sorry, but I would not agree to this unless it was something that you offered or you were seeking to do in order to supplement your income. If you are a SAHM that does not mean that you are a free daycare worker. You will have A LOT on your hands, plus if you do get pregnant with #2 that means worrying about scheduling doctor appts, caring for a VERY young baby on top of your still young baby, plus if you don't feel well you can't just stay in bed with your son for a few hours. Also, if your son gets sick what do you do about your neice/nephew? What if your niece/nephew gets sick? What happens when you want to go on vacation, want to go for a playdate, want to go food shopping etc.....
While I totally understand WHY she wants her sister to care for her child I would tell her that you honestly don't think it is a great idea. I would not offer 1 or 2 days. It is better for her child to be used to her daycare situation IMO and not get moved around multiple places each week. And that one or 2 days could easily turn into 3 or 4 or 5 if she decideds she doesn't like a certain daycare etc..etc..she could start to rely on you more than you want.
Tell her that you will, of course, always be available in an emergency (like the baby needs to get picked up from daycare or your sister needs help because the daycare is closed and she needs to work) but list the reasons above.
I would offer to help her find a great daycare and go with her to places. Maybe giving her that support will also help the transition.
Everything you listed above is what DH and I talk about every morning. This is weighing on our heads so much. Yea, she offered some cash...but I wouldn't want her money, because maybe here and there I would want her to watch DS for an hour or two... I wouldn't want to feel as if I need to pay her in return. More and More I think about it, I might have to say no. I really need to sit down with her and make a serious conversation about it. I really appreciate everyones thoughts and support 
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| Posted 5/5/06 5:23 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice...
I agree with how you feel 100% and I'm sure it is a very awkward situation but I would say no as well. I would clearly explain my reasonings and hope that my sister would understand. If you didn't live there they would have to find other childcare and you didn't move there to take care of their baby. You want to be a SAHM not run daycare out of your home and their is nothing wrong with that, family or not.
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| Posted 5/5/06 5:39 PM |
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Texas4Good
My Boys
Member since 6/05 1019 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Need advice...
Posted by monkeybride
I agree with how you feel 100% and I'm sure it is a very awkward situation but I would say no as well. I would clearly explain my reasonings and hope that my sister would understand. If you didn't live there they would have to find other childcare and you didn't move there to take care of their baby. You want to be a SAHM not run daycare out of your home and their is nothing wrong with that, family or not.
Thank you!
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| Posted 5/5/06 8:09 PM |
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