Need a pep talk

OK, so the nurse told me this morning I need to get a more positive attitude. I mean the nurses never notice that sh@t. I must be in a bad way. And yet I'm not sure I can get positive again. I feel like its setting myself up for a fall, yet here I am fighting DH for the opportunity to do IVF#4. Saturday DH and I had a long talk (cry) etc... and he was trying to convince me to go straight to DE. Yet, I couldn't. Not yet. Need this one last try. So, now I need an attitude adjustment. And I can't find it.

Re: Need a pep talk

after all you have been through how can anyone blame you for being down? Have you spoken to anyone professional? Maybe you need to re-group and get your head straight. It will definitely help.

The stress of IF is huge..it's hard on everything, your marriage, your job, your health..no wonder it's hard to be positive.

I hope you can see through to the next cycle whether it be with your own eggs or DE.

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Here are some quotes that I read over and over to myself...

"All we have to do is understand that we're all here for a reason and to commit ourselves to that. Then, we can laugh at our sufferings, large and small, and walk fearlessly, aware that each step has meaning."

I think of that one as saying that we all have our purpose.. for us, it might be to have a child. So we have to be committed to that.. and just keep going - no matter what it takes... because each step we take is one step closer to where we want to be.

And this is my quote for when I'm feeling ridiculously hopeful even though circumstances tell me I should feel otherwise:

"I know this is an illusion, but life has given me so many moments of harsh reality that it does no harm to dream a little."

Re: Need a pep talk

"I know this is an illusion, but life has given me so many moments of harsh reality that it does no harm to dream a little."


I love this!

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Ok you are EXACTLY where I was.. I could have written this myself.. I needed one last try w/my own eggs.. I know if this failed I could be at peace with the donor egg.. I begged my husband.. He was so against it but he gave in.. I had to do it as well.. I think you have to for that peace of mind.. I needed to be fully beaten down..

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Believe me, I know where you are. I've been where you are so many times. Just remember, IF, as much as it sucks, it makes you a stronger person. you will pick yourself up, you will get it together. You know you don't want to give up yet...its not in the cards. Not yet. IVF #4, while its a lot, its not THAT much. You have plenty of spunk left...just find it. You can do it, I know it.

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When I was going through IF, I saw a therapist and it helped me deal with the sadnes and anxiety of it all. It also helped me to keep focused on my next step plan if things didn't work out at each step. The fact that you are willing to do DE can give you hope and something to look forward to if things don't work out this IVF cycle.

Re: Need a pep talk

Just trust in yourself that you've made the right decision. You have to do one more with your own eggs. For your own sanity. It is the right choice!!!!

I know you were told you only have a 10% chance for success but, look at me. Less than 2% chance that all 3 would take. It can happen! It will happen for you!!!!! We've all been on the wrong side of the statistics for so long. It's your turn to be on the right side!

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thank you all so much

I'm getting near neutral now and not sure why but makes me feel good that you have all experience this (not that I want you to experience this, I feel a little normal).

Don't know what I would do without you all!!!!

Re: Need a pep talk

BA, I've been saying "one last time" for years now

If you still feel like you want another shot with your eggs...DO IT

Don't regret it later...

You'll KNOW when you are ready to move on

Re: Need a pep talk

I can only say that you should really let yourself wallow in your sadness for a while then have a hard-core sitdown with you DH and explain why you have to do this one more time.
He will acquiesce, just explain how much it means to you. Having him on your side will then make it easier for you to move forward.

And, for the record - your attitude is not going to change the outcome, no matter what the nurses say. I cannot begin to tell you how negative I was towards the end, literally just going through the motions.

Re: Need a pep talk

My heart breaks for you. I hope you and DH can come to a compromise soon.

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Posted by -BabyMiracle-

My heart breaks for you. I hope you and DH can come to a compromise soon.

Re: Need a pep talk

Beth-ann,

This is your time and your birhday is next month so you will succeed. I understand where you are at. Positive thoughts I am sending your way. Cry when you need to so not to bottle up emotion, but enjoy the thought that it is your time....you willl grow into this thought.

Re: Need a pep talk

Beth-Ann, I often think of you and pray for you.....I think if you don't try one more time, you'll always wonder "what if".....follow your heart and your instincts....

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It's so hard...there's one quote I always look to and it gives me hope....I can't remember exactly what it says right now but it is from the Bible and something like "trust in me, for only I know what is in store for you"...meaning..we have to let go of what we do not have control of and have faith....

I will say some extra prayers for you tonight

Re: Need a pep talk

how are you feeling Beth?

Thinking about you.

Re: Need a pep talk

Thanks - I'm feeling much better.

Did yoga, got my hair done, just treating myself nicely.

Thanks again you all, you really helped me too!!!!