nap hell help (long)

So my son has all of sudden decided that he refuses to nap for me after I come home from work at noonish. His usual nap schedule is 30-45 min nap at 930ish, 12-1ish and 3-4. he will nap for just about anyone else but me. He is 8 months old and really only able to be awake for about 2 hours at a time before he starts rubbing his eyes and getting very cranky. For the past few weeks I used to put him down in the crib with his binky and security blanket, he used to just turn on his side and go to sleep (sometime I would go back in and replace the binky 1-2 times) or he would fuss for 5-7 minutes and drift off. We are now on 30 minutes of screaming and crying in the crib. If I go back in ...its all over and he gets even worse, turns blue (he has actually made himself pass out before w/in 30 seconds of starting to cry) and I eventually give up, skip the nap and keep him awake till bedtime which is 8pm...very very hard to do as he is MISERABLE and tired the whole time. I know he needs to nap but i have no idea how to get him to nap, the more I try to help the worse he becomes. He does not like being rocked/bounced etc. Will not fall asleep in the carseat and its way to cold to walk him outside for the hour it would take him to fall asleep in the stroller. I use white noise in his nursery as well. Suggestions or do I try to give up on getting him to nap altogether and hope he grows out of needing to sleep as much. It has gotten to the point where I actually dread coming home after work because I know I will spend 1-2 hours of the afternoon fighting with him to nap and then wind up with a cranky awake baby in the end. I also hate hearing him cry in the crib but either way he will be crying if he isn't actually asleep. Sigh...mommyhood is hard sometimes :(

Re: nap hell help (long)

Just based on my own 2 kids - 3 naps still @ 8 months seems a bit much. I would aim for the morning nap and then maybe make the 3-4 nap a little earlier.

I would also put some thought into an earlier bedtime - even now at 5 and 2.5, my kids are in bed by 7 every night. 8 seems really late to me, jmo.

Re: nap hell help (long)

Thanks for the response! I would loooove 2 naps instead of 3 but haven't seemed to be able to get him to sleep long enough during the naps to make the two work (2 30 minute naps doesn't seem to tide him over till bedtime and then he falls alseep while nursing during the day instead of actually eating) The earlier bedtime has also been discussed but my DH doesn't get home from work till 645 and wants to spend time w/ DS before he goes to sleep at night (hence 8pm bedtime). if he would take 2 like 1.5 hr naps I think we'd be ok, someone just needs to tell him that hehe.

Re: nap hell help (long)

Posted by Karen

Just based on my own 2 kids - 3 naps still @ 8 months seems a bit much. I would aim for the morning nap and then maybe make the 3-4 nap a little earlier.

I would also put some thought into an earlier bedtime - even now at 5 and 2.5, my kids are in bed by 7 every night. 8 seems really late to me, jmo.

nap hell help (long)

I would try to stretch the time between naps as well. DD only did 2 hours of awake time until about 7.5 months and then finally stretched to 3 and dropped the 3rd nap. It took me a little while to figure it out bc she would still show the tired signals at 2 hours but then wouldn't go to sleep. I would try several times before giving up and feeding her at the 3 hour mark and she would fall asleep nursing. After several days of that I realized I should try the nap at 3 hours instead of nursing and it worked. It took a few more days for her to adjust and not be tired but eventually she did. Some days she does two 1.5 hour naps and some days they are much shorter but she deals with it. She also goes to bed at 8 so she can see DH and it's not a problem for her.

Re: nap hell help (long)

I would keep trying with the two naps. Sometimes when you drop a nap it takes a little while for them to adjust. So they won't take very long naps for a week or two, but then they get the hang of it. I would try the morning nap a little later, like 10am and then keep the afternoon at 3.

I agree that 8pm is fine for a bedtime. That has been my DS's bedtime since he started STTN and he's 20 months now.

Re: nap hell help (long)

Re: nap hell help (long)

Posted by Karen

Just based on my own 2 kids - 3 naps still @ 8 months seems a bit much. I would aim for the morning nap and then maybe make the 3-4 nap a little earlier.

I would also put some thought into an earlier bedtime - even now at 5 and 2.5, my kids are in bed by 7 every night. 8 seems really late to me, jmo.

Re: nap hell help (long)

Have you tried leaving him up in his crib when he wakes after the 30 min? I know a lot of time DD will wake, fuss for a few minutes and then put herself back to sleep for a longer nap. If he will go back down at that point then you will get longer naps and you should be able to cut down to 2 naps a day. It sounds like he is overtired and probably because the 30 min naps aren't enough. I also a a big fan of the early bedtime, once you get the night sleep figured out the day sleep usually works itself out. Both my kids (17 month and 4 yo) go to bed at 6:30pm and have since they were a few weeks old!

Re: nap hell help (long)

Re: nap hell help (long)

I think it's funny that so many people are saying that 3 naps is too much, because when I posted a few weeks ago with concern that DD only stays up for 2 hours at a time (she almost 7.5 months), everyone said that it was normal. In all honesty, my DD takes 4 naps some days, but has now been dropping the last one. She woke up at 6:30 this morning, and by 8, was already rubbing her eyes. I just follow her cues. If she is tired, she naps. However, she does not want an early evening nap anymore, so if she has been up since 2:30 at daycare, and I pick her up at 4:30, she won't go back to sleep. Because of that, I have adjusted her bedtime to 7-7:30. DH does not usually get to see her with this bedtime, but he deals because he knows she needs the sleep (I have to wake her up by 6 during the week, and technically, she should be getting 12 hours of sleep at night). I would try putting your DS to bed earlier.

Re: nap hell help (long)

Re: nap hell help (long)

Thanks for all of the suggestoins/experiences. I think part of the problem is that i am so worried about "dropping" a nursing session or him not eating enough during the day that I put eating way ahead of sleeping, which makes fitting in 5-6 nursing sessions with 2-3 naps and solids 2x's a day impossible. If I drop to nursing every 4 hours then he will probably only get 4 nurses a day. He has NEVER been good at giving hunger signals (he will eat whenever I offer food even if was every hour, and won't eat/ seem hungry if I don't offer it at all. I just have to not be so afraid that I will stop making enough milk for him if he nurses less often. Thanks!!

Re: nap hell help (long)

When my DS was 8 months he was still taking 3 naps, at similar times to what you posted. Since he'll nap for anyone but you, it may be that he's just glad to be with you or wants to see you. I think that when DS went from 3 naps to 2, he was around 9-10 months. I think the nap that he dropped was the 9AM one, instead he took a longer nap around 11 and then again at 3.

Anyway, your DS is definitely too young not to nap. I think you should be really consistent with your naptime routine, that helps. Do you do anything differently from what other people do? Also, maybe spend a few extra minutes with him when you get home. Play or something for 15 minutes and then start your nap routine. He'll understand that he gets to be with you but then has to nap.

Don't give up on the naps. My DS was a great napper until he dropped his last nap a little after he turned 3. BUT, this is not to say that we did not go through several rough phases where napping was a bit challenging. At one point DS went 3 weeks with barely taking his afternoon nap. He fought it but I did not give up and stuck to my routine. He continued napping 2+ hours for a year after that phase.

Hang in there and try a few different things. You'll get it and your DS will be a happier baby and you'll feel better.

Re: nap hell help (long)

That is another issue...consistency hehe. Its hard to be consistent with naps/schedule because my childcare varies from day to day ( work about 20-30 hr's per week). 2 days w/ an in home daycare (1 part 1 full day), 2 days w/ grandma at our house (half days), 1 full weekday with mommy and then the weekend. I am jealous of moms who can make there own consistent schedule and actually get to keep to it. Also, Grandma rocks him to sleep, daycare uses a swing, and my husband and I try to put him down awake in the crib. Both grandma and daycare refuse to let him cry at all where as my DH and I are willing to do a little CIO if it means helping him put himself to sleep. We will just keep trying, its just hard to let him cry and I'm not sure what else to do other then give up, pick him up and forgo that particular nap.

Re: nap hell help (long)