Moving Away

Has anyone moved far away from your parents/siblings and family members?
How do you handle it?

I moved to the west coast and I only get to see my parents, brother and friends twice a year for a week at a time. I'm restricted with work and I thought my parents would come here more but, they have stuff going on too.

I thought that I would be able to adjust but, I've been here 2.5 years and I still can't get used to it. The guilt I feel for leaving them won't go away.

DH and I discussed moving back to the east coast (I moved here bc this is where he is from and he has a teen son who wouldnt move east) once he finishes school but I just can't see it happening. The market is so bad right now and I just cant see us being able to afford anything close. I feel stuck here at the moment and it's really bringing me down.

Message edited 5/19/2010 2:28:57 PM.

Re: Moving Away

It's very difficult and I can sympathize.

We just moved back after being away from our family for almost 3 years. Mind you, we all saw each other pretty much every month or more, but it just wasn't the same. It also killed me that my kids were missing out on so much.. xoxo

Re: Moving Away

I'm away from most of my family (they're upstate or in New England) but DH's family is VERY close to us so I never feel completely disconnected.
Before we had children, DH and I said that we'd be willing to move anywhere for our jobs. Now that our DCs are here, there's no way I'd go anywhere that didn't have a strong support system for us.
I learned to have humility this past winter -- I had a 2 year old and an infant when I got the swine flu. If my ILs didn't live so close, I don't know how we would have gotten through it.

Re: Moving Away

Message edited 5/19/2010 2:44:13 PM.

Re: Moving Away

i moved about 45 minutes away and had a mostly miserable time. every one lived far away. lived 45 minutes away for 2 years. now we are moving back and hopefully it should be a lot better.

Re: Moving Away

I have been away from my family for about 13 years now... went to a college that was 4 hours away and very rarely saw them, and now I live in New England and my parents still live on LI and I only see them 3 or 4 times a year. Its more now than it used to be because my EX husband did not like my family but my current DH LOVES them, and now we see them more. Plus if my DH is in the NY area he will grab drinks with my brothers and dad. My family is the typical Irish family though, we aren't really all that emotionally close, but if something ever happened to one of us, we would all be there in a heartbeat. It is hard not having family near, but I guess I have just gotten used to it. Plus I get along with my ILs who live a couple towns over so we see them a lot. That helps. Sorry you are having a rough time.

Re: Moving Away

I have almost always lived away from my parents. Now that I am back in NY they went to FL.

so its the norm for me. I am very close with my family but since its been such a long time it doesnt upset me. I go see them when I can and they come up 2x a year

Re: Moving Away

I did it a few years ago, before DH and kids, and it wasn't for me. My family hardly visited - only for my grad school graduation. It was a great experience as a younger person to be completely on my own. As a mom with 2 kids, I'd never do it. I feel I can't be that isolated. I know it works okay for others, but it's not for me. My parent's would never move out of NY.

Re: Moving Away

Yes, pretty much all of my adult life I've lived 'away' from the family unit.

In college I was two hours north, then I always lived away from the old 'hood' when I came back. Then I moved to NY. My Dad was so supportive of the move and honestly we talk every single day without fail. I would see him once a year for about a week.

Then AJ came along and he came out to see us for a month. Less than a year later I moved to TX. He doesnt live in TX anymore tho. We still talk daily. I hope to see him about once a year for about a week.

I don't know I never feel guilt for leaving them. I feel like this is what they raised me to do. Go out and explore the world, live my life. Make them proud. Not that I couldnt do all that living down the street from them, but this is just something that *I* am experiencing.

I'm used to it in away as my Dad was Navy and gone for long stretches. We are always family, 1yr, 2yrs away makes no difference. Thank god long distance is free because Dad and all his annoying tendencies are just a click away. Oh and we use Skype now too so he can see my kiddo and we can chit chat about family stuff.

I am sorry you're home sick. Sometimes its not for everyone. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make.

Re: Moving Away

I have lived 3 hours away from my family for just about 3 years and I find it very difficult at times. We just recently bought a house and I am pretty sure we are here permanently. I see my family about once a month, but even with that I get homesick. I have made very few friends here, which I think it makes it worse.

Re: Moving Away

I have. My parents and whole family live in MD and I live on LI. It sucks, but we visit as often as possible.
The west coast is obviously harder and my mom doesn't work and my dad should retire soon they are more able to come here.

Re: Moving Away

We just bought a house upstate 3.5 hours from LI and our families.

I do miss them sometimes but to honest we are both so busy during the week with work and on the weekends we usually see them every couple of weeks.

Maybe it's because we moved recently and still see each other a lot but I'm not really homesick. I love the life that DH and I are building with each other in our new home.

We moved due to the high prices of housing on LI.